Demon Boyfriend: Jolly Jay 3 (rough draft)

Jay put on his mask then sat upon the edge of his desk, looking down at me. I was the cat with the canary, or it may be more apropos to say I am the canary in the coalmine right now. I can only glance up at him for a moment before I turn my eyes away, distracting myself with my hair or the way my shirt is tucked into my pants. I fiddle so much with my shirt that a lower button rubbing against the belt falls off and bounces on the ground. It rolls to Jay’s feet and he stoops over to pick it up. In between his longer fingers the button looks so tiny, even though, for my fingers, they felt a bit too big.

“I wonder,” he begins with that smooth, cool voice of his. “Perhaps i should not have given you that book and planted the idea in your head.” His arm stretches all the way across the room and places the button into my palm. “Pandora, too, was whispered.” he sighs heavily. “Maybe it was my own selfish desire.”

I clutch the button in my fist. “I heard the radio and came to check on you. Seeing you gone made me-” My voice trails off. What exactly made me open the door?

He rises off his desk and stands erect before me. He’s wearing a dark sweater that covers his neck and arms, and the gray pants he wears are a bit too short for him. “Made you what?”

I look up at him and that grinning mask. “Where did you go?”

“I thought you didn’t like knowing these things. That it was best you remained above it all.” He places his hands into his pockets. “Why the change of heart?”

“The dates in the books,” I whisper. “The eyes.” I shake my head and shrug. “I can’t pinpoint it. If I am Pandora or if I am the Bright Star to you, does it matter?”

His body language goes slack and his hands slip back out from his pockets. “You read Bright Star?”

I nod. “The pages were the most worn. I knew it had to have been read many times.”

“I don’t know why it was banned. It has made so many happy.” He chuckles under his breath then lays his hand upon his chest.

I take a cautious step towards him. “Jay-”

“I know,” he turns to look down upon me. “You want answers. All this time together and now you want answers. Why you? Isn’t that it?”

I stiffen my jaw, grind my teeth. “You’ve always been a step ahead of me. I caught onto that. It’s like you know how I am going to move. That’s why I didn’t feel the need to know. You knew for me.”

“Yes, you were smarter this time, keeper.”

I furrow my brow. “This time?”

“I can only be held, truly, by someone I have known before. And I have known you many, many times, Imelda. Different places, different names, different worlds.” He turns and sits down at his desk. “But I lose you each time.”

“Stop hiding things!” I snap at him. “What the hell is even that?”

His head turns over his shoulder, and I see an eye flicker behind the mask. “You want to know the truth then come here to me.” He turns his chair around and holds out his hands. “There is too much distance between us.”

I take a deep breath and confidently stride towards him. I sit down upon his lap, placing my arm around his back. “Better?”

He’s very still. “I just meant for you to hold my hand. You’ve surprised me a bit.” I’ve never heard his voice break before, let alone hear him so nervous. It was kind of refreshing.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

He clears his throat. “I come from a world called the Underneath. It is a place that is under everything. This time and place, as well as many others. They connect through this void, and inside are creatures like me. Long ago, I was summoned from the Underneath by my first keeper. I fell in love with her deeply. So when she died I used the Underneath to find her again. Selfish of me perhaps, after all, she would be a different person where I found her. And I did, a couple of times.”

“So the books-” I murmur.

“Tokens from her wherever I went. She always loved books, there are always constants.” He sighs heavily. “I found her far too soon, and while I waited for her, I took on jobs. Found a job for a radio station.”

“You mean here?”

“I have a lovely voice, I was a natural. Unfortunately, that got me caught up in another sort of world. Revolution and fighting smiles,” he breathes. “I wasn’t able to find her in time. I still wanted to be with her, but the right time had to come up. Eventually, your basement became available.”

“Matilda?” My voice cracks.

“No. Matilda scares me.” He clears his throat again. “Obviously it’s you. You get that, right?”

“Yeah. Just trying to make a joke.” I grit my teeth as I swallow. “So, these other versions of me-”

He places his hand upon my head and strokes away the hair from my face. “I know it’s a lot to take in. I can see all things at once, I know all sides. Being from the Underneath allows me such vision.”

“Why stay here?” I then exclaim. “When you saw what was happening, why didn’t you just leave? Why get tangled in this web? The GIU, the radio, the lilac and yellow suits?” I stare at him, wanting an answer that would be satisfying, but knowing I would not receive it. “I would leave. I would run...don’t stay for-”

“For you?” He points to me.

I don’t say it, but he knows what I am thinking already.

“I knew I couldn’t leave you here. The forced smiles, it made me ache inside. So that is why I went along with the lilac and yellow suits. It was too early for you here, so I decided to try and work to make the world something better for you.” He points to the bed. “What do you see?”

“I see a destroyed mattress.”

“I made a nest,” he chuckles. “But no. The whole bed, everything. What do you see?”

I shake my head. “Just that! I just see a bed.”

“You dream often, right?” He whispers. “And your bed will often collect all that. The wall between the Underneath and the world you know is thinnest in places like these. There’s where children see bogeymen and monsters. Because sometimes they are real, they often make their nests there. Everyone has one.” He smooths his hand up my back. “Most of the GIU leaders keep their homes secreted, right?”

His mask’s smile seems softer for some reason. “Don’t tell me you hide under their beds.”

He laughs. “I can’t just track them or locate them without some prior knowledge of them.” He then takes up his script, showing me the coordinates. “I use the radio. Took some time to master, lots of equipmental experiments, but I finally have it mastered.” He taps the codes I had noticed before. “First Greene and his good friend, Donnie Marigold. Both are old, fading lights, and it will appear that Marigold died from grief.” He sets the script aside.

“You killed Marigold?”

“No. I made him look at me.”

I keep my eyes fixated upon his mask. “Into your eyes?”

He lays his head upon mine and holds me close, taking my hand into his. “Do they frighten you?”

I squeeze his hand. “A little.”

“I am sorry,” he whispers. “But, I keep myself covered. So do not worry.”

I keep my gaze averted. “You’ve killed people.”

“Evil men,” he corrects. “Men who have done more harm to this world than any good. I know what they’ve done.”

“It’s still-” I look back up at his mask. “Why not just leave here? There are more of me, aren’t there? Just go to one of them and leave this place.”

“It’s not that simple. You don’t just exist endlessly. I came here to you, and I am going to stay with you.” He smooths his long fingers over my cheeks, brushing my hair aside. “I’ll save this world for you.”

“Then take me away,” I whisper.

“Oh?” He sounds surprised.

“Take me through the Underneath. Take me to a world with all the books on shelves, show me these places-” I begin to cry.

“I was not prepared for that.” He pulls my head onto his shoulder and strokes my hair. “People have been pulled through the Underneath before. But existing in another world, it can be a shock. And do you really wish to leave this world in the state it is?”

“I want to run,” I whisper. “I am tired. I am sick of smiles!” I want to scream out my disgust. “I am sick of being told that I have to smile or I have to hide. I don’t want either.”

“Let me finish my work here,” he says. “Just a few more, and the suits will be able to take power. I will take you somewhere where you will have all the books you want. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to give you anyways.”

“How long will it take?” I whisper.

“Not long. Got to give it some time now after Marigold’s passing. I would say a few months longer. Can you wait for that?”

I sit up and wipe my eyes dry of tears. “If that is all for an eternity away from this place. I can wait.”

Jay touches my cheek, tapping his thumb over my lips. “Be prepared. We could wind up anywhere.”

“I told you, as long as it isn’t here.” I grab the edge of his mask to pull it up but he stops me. He fidgets with it and bows his head.

“Close your eyes for me.”

I do and I feel him touch me, his lips press to mine and I breathe a sigh of relief. I grab hold of his chest, tugging at his sweater and his hand grasps the back of my head. His fingers tangle then relax and a low, gentle moan builds in his throat. “It has been so long since I felt that kiss. I feel silly now for waiting.” He places his mask back on as I open my eyes.

The kiss was still warm on my lips and I felt a desire for more growing inside me. “Maybe that’s why you never let me open the door.”

“Ah, perhaps.”

The Jolly Jay show continued as it had. After Marigold was found dead, there was a ruffle in the GIU. Someone new had to be elected, but that had not happened for years. Loyalists to Greene and Marigold were brought in, but I was made aware they wore lilac and yellow suits. After a month, Jay went through the radio to another leader and then another. More people wearing lilac and yellow suits were sworn in.

I came to his room one night, finding him wearing his yellow suit. He stood as I approached and offered me his hand. “I found us a place.”

“Now?”

“It will not be much longer.” He stretches out his hand again. “And I fear we will be found.”

I take his hand. “I’m ready. I have been.”

“Your smile is beautiful right now.” He cups my cheek. “But you will never have to do it again unless you want to.” He covers my eyes and kisses my forehead. “You will not be able to pass through the Underneath conscious for long. So when you wake, you will be home.”

I wrap my arms around him, letting him take me away from this place. I remember seeing darkness and then a rainbow of shadows. But after that, I don’t remember a thing. I wake feeling groggy and heavy. My hair is a mess, and everything feels quite cold. I look up to a window, seeing snow falling outside.

“What a dream,” I murmur. I get out of bed to look closer out the window. The world is pure white  and not a thing is moving. The entire street is blanketed in it, no way am I going to be doing any business today.

I then begin to remember. The world I came from and the life I left. But I knew this one so well too. I look back at the bed, covered by a heavy yellow comforter with matching pillows. Above the bed is a shelf of books and potted plants, and the bedside tables are pitch black.

“Jay?” I call out. I touch the ring on my finger.

“In the kitchen!”

I follow the sound of his voice through the tiny apartment. A black cat jumps down from a bookshelf and begins meowing while following beside me. I look at it in fear, I’d never seen a cat indoors before. Most cats weren’t allowed as pets.

“Coffee is almost ready-hello!” Jay leans in the doorway looking down at me. “Just your shirt and panties. You know I like that look.”

He looks the same, only he’s wearing a long sleeves shirt with lemons printed all over it and matching bottoms, as well as bright highlighter yellow socks. “Jay?”

“Yes?” He turns to me. “Something wrong?”

I run my hands through my hair. “I feel...odd.”

“You okay? Not sick, are you?” He places his hand upon my forehead. “No. You’re not warm.”

“No. I feel...out of place. I feel-” I grunt in frustration.

The cat meows loudly and Jay picks them up. “Hug Matilda, it will make you feel better.” The cat’s eyes grow wide and they start purring like an engine.

“Matilda?” I hold the cat, looking at them as they stare unblinking at me. Unblinking.

Unblinking.

“Oh!” I yelp. “You did it!”

“Make cinnamon roll waffles? Yeah. I did.”

I shake my head. “You took me through the Underneath! You found us a new home!” I hold Matilda and laugh. “You really did it!”

Jay kneels down, lifting his mask aside and whispers into my ear. “Welcome home, my love.”

I beam up at him. “Where are we? What’s this place like?” I rush over to the bookcase, going through all the books while Matilda curls around my ankles.

“My brother recommended this place,” he replied. He hands me a cup of coffee with lemons printed all over it. “You’ll get to meet him here.”

“You have a brother?”

“Two sister in laws, three nephews.” He moves his mask and kisses the top of my head. “Downstairs you own a bookstore and antique shop. Should be second nature to you, though.” He strokes his hands down my arms. “We’re married, if that’s alright with you.”

I smile to myself, and only for myself. “Oh, really?”

“Three years next month.” His hands wrap around my hips. “We met on a dating site. Our first date ended horribly when I accidentally squeezed lemon juice into your eye. I then took you to the doctor the next day when your ride fell through. We’ve been together ever since.” His fingers trace the line of my underwear.

“You’re getting handsy,” I giggle.

He buries his face into my hair and moans. “You’re right. Breakfast first.” He pats my bottom then stands back up. “It’ll be done shortly. Enjoy looking at your new home.” He strides snack to the kitchen while I take a stack of books over to the sofa. I sit there with my coffee, looking all through them. Matilda curls up in my lap, falling asleep there while I read.

Jay calls me for breakfast where we eat at a small table together. Under the table, he rubs his foot up my leg. “Since both of us don’t have work today, and we’re trapped by the snow, what would you like to do together?”

I lick icing from the corner of my mouth. “I’m not sure where to begin.” I then look at the mask and grit my teeth.

“You don’t have to hold it back,” he replies. “Time to break that habit.”

“Right.” I slide my fingers along my jaw. “Well, I was thinking-” I then chuckle. “I mean, you can kind of guess what I’m thinking.”

“Just a little. I’m not a mind reader.” He tilts his head. “So tell me what you’re thinking.”

I point to his mask. “Can you take that off?”

He cups his hands around the glossy mask. “You won’t be afraid?”

“I don’t know exactly,” I murmur. “But, I think, after what you’ve done for me, where you’ve put us, I think you deserve to be seen. After all, we’re married.”

He sighs and begins to remove the mask. He stops and checks with me again. “Now are you sure? Because this mask may appear creepy to you, but there is something underneath that I fear is much worse than this. I would hate for you to look at me and then…” he loses his breath. “Never look again.”

I squeeze his hand. “I like you too much to care about what you look like.”

“I am glad that you do,” he whispers. Jay slowly removes the mask, keeping his head down at first. He then lifts his head to me, and all his eyes flicker for a moment, shy and unsure as my gaze fixates. He’s all eyes with darkness in between them. He fidgets with the mask, nervous for my reaction.

“Oh,” I sigh.

“Oh?” All eyes focus on me. “What does that mean?”

I reach out and take his hand into mine, seeing his wedding band proudly placed upon his long finger. “Nothing. Just that I still love you.”

There’s a shudder to his smooth voice and he leans down, kissing me. “I love you too, Imelda.” His eyes seem to smile, which makes me smile in return.

“Even with all those eyes you can still get handsy again, right?” I say with a wink.

“For you,” he purrs, “I can do anything.” He stands up from the table. “We can clean up this mess later. Why don’t we go back to bed for a while?”

“Sounds fun.” I follow behind him, but in the hallway, he stops and turns around. “What’s wrong?”

“Just wanted to see you smile.”

I’m shook breathless. “I didn’t even realize I was.”