Gorgon Girlfriend: Meleda (rough draft)

I have been called to a small village in Pirlipat to take care of a monster that is terrorizing them. I don’t know many of the details at the moment, all I know is that they are desperate to get the creature out of the way. Never one to turn down a chance for adventure, I decided to answer their plea. I also enjoy Pirlipat a great deal, as they have some of the most amazing foods in all the land. Although, I have been told by my fiancée I could spare a few pounds, so I promised her I wouldn’t indulge while there.

This was also my chance to earn the money I needed to get my fiancée the wedding she wanted. It was quite extravagant, and her family refused to pay for anything since this was supposed to be my responsibility to look after her and all her needs. I’m not certain, but I don’t think her family is very nice. But perhaps I can change their opinion after slaying a dangerous monster and bringing home the reward for the wedding.

Once I arrive in the village I am surprised by how nice it all looks. I was expecting a small struggling village, maybe made up of farmers or something. Instead everything looks like big fancy houses, expensive boutiques, not a place that would need help with anything.

“You must be the paladin, Sebastian!” I am greeted by a man in a rather fancy hat. He comes up to me, shaking my hand and grinning. “Welcome to Plumstone. I am Mayor Cobble, the one who sent for you!”

“Hello,” I make a quick bow. “So I am in the right place. I saw all the hat shops and thought perhaps I was lost.”

Mayor Cobble pats me hard on the back. “You are in the right place, my boy! Now come, let me tell you of the awful monster plaguing us.”

The town looks as though it is all in one piece. I have been in places where buildings have been burnt down, people eaten, total chaos. This place looks untouched. Yet Mayor Cobble keeps going on about how women are fainting, men are at arms, children can’t sleep. But I’ve not heard much about the monster except that people can’t seem to go to the picnic grounds.

“I’m sorry, but are you sure this monster of yours isn’t just some agitated opossum?” I ask, just trying to be helpful.

Mayor Cobble looks at me stunned. “Would you call a dragon a gecko?”

I shrug. “The Gecko Beast, I would.”

He claps me on the back again. “Listen here, my boy. You’re a big lad, you can handle this monster!”

I still don’t know what the monster is or is even doing to the village. “I’m sure I can, sir. But perhaps I am overkill.”

“Better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it.”

Maybe I am dumb like my fiancée says, but I don’t quite get that.

“Just go off along this path here, it’ll take you right to the picnic grounds. Once there, I’m sure you’ll come across that creature that is plaguing us.” He then takes a pistol from his pocket. “Would you like a gun?”

I shake my head. “No. Please. I don’t think even you need that. All I ask is my horse is put up in a stall. It’s suppose to rain, I think, and he doesn’t like getting wet without bubbles.”

Mayor Cobble gives me a strange look like my fiancée does when I talk to her, but he smiles, unlike her. “Fine, fine. Your horse will be kept dry,” he chortles. He then hands me a bag. “Your first half of the reward. You’ll get the rest when you bring me the head of that monster.”

I’m taken aback. I mean, I may kill monsters, but I always make it point to see that I can bury them at least. Sure, it may takes ages to dig the grave of a giant beast, but I was always taught to be respectful. “I have to cut the head off, sir?”

“To make a point,” he smiles.

Perhaps I could get away with painting a rock or something. “Okay,” I say with an awkward smile and I make my way down the path.

My fiancée would love the place. All the shops, all the fancy streetlamps, even this cute pathway lined by flowers that alternate in color to make a pretty pattern. She’s always loved fancy and expensive things, so she would fit in here. Although, I doubt I could afford it for her, but I’d try.

The picnic area is not what I expected. When I think picnic, I think grass and maybe rough wood tables. But here, there is a huge white pavilion covered in flowering vines with a stream running behind it, going into a fanciful fishpond. Under the pavilion there are big glass tables and even chairs! Chairs for a picnic? I never had one. I wander up upon the pavilion, looking around for anything suspicious.

Nothing seems out of the ordinary, other than that this is way too much for a picnic area. I scour the area, looking for any signs of tracks that I could follow. But there is nothing. I kneel down by the stream, expecting the bank for any signs. Still nothing.

“You got a pretty caboose there.”

“Oh, thank you,” I chuckle. “My fiancée says it’s too big, but I-” I stop and turn around quickly, seeing a woman sitting on the railing of the pavilion. “Sorry, Miss. I didn’t realize anyone was here. You should be careful, Mayor Cobble told me there was a monster around here.” I approach her as she kicks her legs over the side. I bow to her. “I am the paladin, Sebastian, Miss. I can escort you back if that would help you feel safe.”

She’s wearing one of those fancy hats on her head with a veil covering her face, so I can’t really see what she looks like. “Well, aren’t you the sweetest thing I ever did meet. It has been a long while since I met a real gentleman in these parts. I am the Lady Meleda.” She taps her lap. “Mind catching me as I come down?”

“Of course!” I hold open my arms, catching her as she slides down. She’s quite petite, which is really kind of cute. “I didn’t see you when I first got here.”

“I saw you,” she giggles. “Big handsome fella like you is very hard to miss.” She walks her fingers up my chest then taps the tip of the nose. “Don’t see enough of that around here either.”

My face feels warm and my insides are all fuzzy. “Here, you can take my arm if you like. I would hate for you to get scared on your way home.”

“Oh, that’s right!” Meleda chortles. “The monster.” She wiggles her fingers. “I’ve heard talk of said monster. But do you know what’s really monstrous?”

I shake my head.

“Land theft.” She then swings her arm and points back to the pavilion. “See that gaudy eyesore there?”

“I believe so, yes.”

She sniffs. “That thing is built on someone else’s land. They didn’t even ask! They just built to build. Just because the lines are so close together,” she sneers with a high pitched voice in a mocking tone. “And because they think they can walk all over me!”

I don’t get it. “Huh?”

Meleda sighs then places her hands upon her hips. “Did they send you to kill me?”

“No!” I gasp in alarm. “They sent me to kill a monster! I would never harm a nice lady like you, Meleda.”

“I can be both.” She takes off her hat, revealing her head is covered in what looks like wriggling, giant gummy worms. She smiles at me, eyes covered by large purple sunglasses. She has glittery scales around her face, and a mouth that cuts back farther than normal.

“You’re too pretty to be a monster, Lady Meleda,” I say.

Her expression goes slack, almost surprised. “Well, thank you,” she tucks her hat back on with the veil away from her face. “But seriously, Sebastian, I’m the monster.”

I laugh. “No! Then why would I have been sent to kill you? That’s not very funny, Lady Meleda.”

“The gods that be made you far too pretty, didn’t they?” She then stands back. “I am a monster, sweetie. Just probably not the kind you are used to. See these?” She taps a long fingernail to her sunglasses. “This is keeping me from turning you into a giant lollipop.”

I furrow my brow. “But why would they want me to kill you?”

“So they can take my land!” Meleda points across the street. “It was left to me when my mother died so I am not giving it up, at least not for the pitance they offered. All the money in the world and they offered me crumbs.” She sniffs and shakes her head. “So, since the lines of property were so close and hard to determine, they built this eyesore in my backyard! And when I dared to say people couldn’t come into my backyard without permission, they flipped. Sure, maybe I did turn a screaming asshole into marshmallow as a warning. So what? I think we have enough assholes in the world to spare one.”

“That’s still not nice.”

Meleda frowns. “I know! But they want you to kill me so they can take over my property and expand their stupid picnic area. Who do you think is worse?”

“They also wanted me to bring you their head.”

Her whole body goes slack. “You must be joking?”

“I thought it was bad too, glad to know I’m not alone in my thinking.” I look up at the sky, feeling the first raindrop on my face.

“We can discuss mortality at my house.” Meleda takes my hand. “You can continue being a gentleman and escort me home.”

It pours down before we make it to her home. I’m soaked to the bone and shivering, I’ve never been one for being cold. Meleda takes me into her home, making me stand before a fire while she goes to change and find me something to wear. I figure it won’t hurt to remove my wet things while I wait. So by the time she returns, I’m naked before the fire.

“Showing off?” Meleda clicks her tongue.

I turn and use a piece of armor to cover myself. “Not at all!”

She smiles and strides into the room, handing me a robe. “Then put this on. Should fit you.” She sits down, watching me as I dress. “So tell me, paladin Sebastian, how much are they offering you to kill me?”

“Quite a lot.” I run my hand through my hair. “Enough to give my fiancée the wedding she wants.”

Meleda’s brow arches. “You’re betrothed. So you’re doing this for love.”

“No, I’m doing it for money,” I chuckle.

She nods her head and scrunches up her face for a brief second. “Well, I don’t have much to offer, and since you are to be wed, my other offer probably won’t slide either.” She leans back in her chair and sighs. “This whole thing just keeps going pear shaped.”

“What do you mean?”

“Worse, it keeps getting worse.” She smiles at me. “How does your fiancée put up with you?”

“Oh, she says I give her headaches and it would be easier to live with a bull in the house than me,” I laugh. “She’s so funny.”

Meleda frowns. “I sure hope she’s joking.”

“She also said I couldn’t come back until I had the money to pay for the wedding she wants.”

She leans closer to me. “Couldn’t or shouldn’t?”

“Couldn’t?”

“I don’t know who the worse monster is now, me or her.” She leans back again and looks towards the fire.

“I don’t know what I am going to do. I can’t kill you now, Lady Meleda. I’ll have to give back the half of the reward Mayor Cobble already gave me. After that, I’ll have to find something to do to make that money.”

“I can offer a free meal,” Meleda says. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes!” I exclaim excitedly. “But no, I should really watch what I eat. My fiancée says my belly is starting to look ridiculous.”

I can’t tell what her expression is behind those glasses, but she doesn’t seem too amused by that. “Your fiancée sounds mean, Sebastian.”

“It’s tough love.”

“Your belly is fine. You're a big, handsome man, who cares if your belly is pudgy?” She then rose from her seat. “Eat what you want, don’t worry about what you look like.”

She took me to her small kitchen where she sliced some bread and cheese which she then put into a butter pan. “I don’t have much right now as they won’t let me into the village to shop anymore.”

“You used to go into Plumstone?” I ask.

Meleda scoffs. “Oh, yes. All the time. Barely have the money for it aside from what I get sent from my father, and he’s been stingy lately since my brother fucked it up with his gambling.” She flips the bread in the pan.

“How much do you need?”

Meleda turns and scowls at me. “Don’t start. You have a...thing at home wanting money, don’t you?”

“My fiancée, but-” Her kitchen looks empty and one of her windows is broken and covered by boards that look poorly hung. “She wants it. You look like you need it.”

Her scowl deepens but she hands me a plate. The bread has become buttery and toasted, while the cheese inside is gooey and melting over the sides. It looks delicious! “Thank you!” I happily grab at it, breaking it in half and offering it to her.

Her frown turns into a smile. “No, that’s for you, I can make my own.” Meleda goes to cut her bread again, but her knife breaks in her hand. “Dammit, again?”

I take out my dagger and slice the bread and cheese for her. “Don’t worry, it’s clean.” I smile up at her. “I can probably fix your knife too, if you like.”

Meleda chuckles, taking the plate. “You don’t seem like some ruthless paladin.”

“I wouldn’t say ruthless,” I murmur. “I try to take care of people, it just comes naturally to me. I always want to help when I see someone is being treated wrong.”

Meleda hesitates for a moment but continues with making her food. “Was your fiancée like that too?”

“No. I helped her father with a whooping bear problem and, instead of paying me, he gave me his daughter.” I take a bite of my food and it tastes so good.

“Ah,” Meleda clicks her tongue. “Well, that makes sense,” she says sunder her breath so I can barely hear her.

“What about you? What do you do, Lady Meleda?” I ask.

She turns and sits back down with her food on her plate. “As of now? Nothing.” She picks at her sandwich. “Between being ostracized from Plumstone and having you sent here to kill me, I’ve not been able to run my business as usual.”

“What was it then?”

She looks sad for a moment, distant even. I can’t tell what her eyes are doing, but everything else about her looks sad. She sighs, setting her food back down. “I made candy, as simple as it is. I used to make it for one of the confectionaries in town. But now-” Her voice trails off. “Now, the same man I made candy for set fire to my lawn.”

Inside I am so angry. It’s not fair they treat her this way just because she stood up for her property. “That’s not right.”

“No,” she sighs. “I thought those people liked me, apparently they only tolerated me.” She takes a bite of her food and chews slowly.

“What all needs to be fixed?” I ask. “Maybe I can help.”

Meleda huffs. “Don’t do that, Sebastian. I’m not some damsel in distress. I’m just a missy who’s pissy.”

“I’m serious.” I stand up and go to the broken window. “I can fix this up for you. I’ll even help you get your lawn back in order if it’s still not on fire.”

Meleda smiles warmly. “It’s not.”

“I’d rather be here helping you than trying to kill you,” I tell her.

She chuckles warmly. “That’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. But I can’t offer you much, Sebastian.”

“That’s okay, I’m used to it!” I say chipperly. “Once the rain stops, you can show me around at what needs to get done. I’ll go into town, get my horse and some supplies-”

“But what will you tell them?” Meleda grunts. “They sent you here to kill me, after all. They’re going to expect some answers.”

“I’ll just tell them you ran and I’m camping out for when you get back. Easy.”

“Easy for you, you cutie pie,” she sighs. “I can’t change your mind on this, can I?”

I shake my head. “Not at all.”

Meleda makes the couch for me to sleep on that evening. Come dawn, I’m up early to go inspect her yard. It’ll be an easy fix. I just have to dig and till, seed it, build a new fence, and it will be as good as new. A few of her windows are broken too, not just the one in the kitchen. I go to town to get my horse, telling them the same story I came up with last night. After that, I buy some supplies which seems to confuse them, but I assure them all that they are necessary to hunt the monster.

Over the next few days I make repairs to Meleda’s house. It’s not bad at all, in fact, I would rather do this than anything else. I also really enjoy Meleda’s company, she’s very nice and so smart. I like talking with her at night before bed.

“How are you going to keep this going?” She asks me one night. “Eventually they are going to get impatient and want results. You can’t keep pretending this game of cat and mouse much longer.”

“I know, hopefully I’ll get the yard fixed in time to come up with a better story. Have you thought about reaching out to your family for help?”

“I haven’t heard from my brother in a long time,” she grumbles. “And my dad is growing exhausted of us, so I choose not to deal with him.” She shrugs then looks into the fire. “Maybe I really should just go back home to him, let the stupid village have my home. If only it wasn’t my mom’s.”

I decide then that I can’t leave until I know she’s safe.