Berserker Boyfriend: Jacobus 2 (rough draft)

Jacobus puts on his robe as I sit by the table, cautious of his presence. He moves slowly, as if avoiding the conversation at hand. Opening the window and letting in the light, he lets out a forlorn sigh. 

“I am from one of the tribes of the Headless,” he says quietly. Turning around, I see the fatigue on his face, it weighs down his eyes and makes them droop, it makes his mouth appear thin and gray. “My father was a mortal man, but my mother is from the tribe of Valery through the bloodlines of the Goddess Amorette.”

I tighten my arms around me. “So, a demon?” 

Jack scowls at me. “She is a Valery! Not a demon.” He stands stiff before me. “But because of her blood and my father’s, I have my own certain obstacles.”

“What I saw last night was no obstacle, Jack,” I hiss at him. “That thing, that creature was a mountain that one cannot simply pass.”

“That creature was me, and the reason I kept myself hidden from you at night. He comes out and I have no control over his urges.” He grimaces, his beautiful face contorted into fear and disgust. “He is purely instinct, all fear and rage. Hot blooded and quick. I did not want you to know me in that manner!”

I keep my eyes down on the floor from then on out. I see his feet move, his shadow shift, but I will not look into those eyes. “What were you going to do to me?”

“Nothing, I-” His voice catches in the back of his throat. His sigh trembles as he breathes. “I didn’t want to do anything to you.”

“You licked up my blood like it was the nectar of the gods.” I pull myself into a tighter ball in my seat. My knees press against my chest, and my arms constrict to hold myself together. “You were after something, do not lie.”

“Blood. I remember blood.” He paces back towards the window. “That sweet, heavenly aroma came to me and it was all I wanted. It was your scent, and all I wanted was you.”

“You were going to eat me, weren’t you?”

“No!” He cries out in alarm. “I would never eat you, Salome! I would never...not even-” He stalls again. “How can I explain this to you in a way that you will listen?”

“I don’t know that you can,” I whisper. “I’m so afraid now.”

Jack approaches me, stands directly in front of me. “I have given you the best of myself. I swear that to you.”

I close my eyes. “But you hid from me your worst, which is no better than a lie.”

Jack falls to his knees before me. “I love you, Salome.”

I open my eyes and shove him back. “How dare you say that?” I stand up and move away from him. “You say you love me and then hide yourself from me! You lie to me and say all these things! How can I be so sure anything you say is the truth?”

Jack remains on the floor as I yell. “I promised you I wouldn’t hurt you.”

“You have! You might as well have ripped my heart out last night. It would have been easier than this.” I storm out of the room, but as I go down the hallway, the cut on my foot reopens. It oozes and bleeds, aching horribly. I stop in the hall, bracing myself against a doorway to let myself sob. 

I fell in love with him, and I so desperately wanted it to be true. I was lucky anyone wanted to marry me at all without wanting my family’s assets in return. It was a miracle that someone like Jack had looked at me, let alone wanted to be by my side. I was wretched.

“You’re bleeding, Salome.”

I use my skirt to cover my bleeding foot. “You stay away from me, Jack!” I hiss up at him. “Don’t come any closer.”

Jack reaches for me, kneeling down and offering his hand. “I won’t hurt you, I promise. It only comes out at night.”

The sadness in his eyes is genuine, but how much guilt he feels, I am unsure. I let him pick me up and carry me to the den. He cleans the cut on my foot and bandages it in silence. The air is heavy and I can’t stand it anymore.

“Is it the reason you would not lay with me like a husband?” I ask shakily. 

“Yes,” he whispers. “It only comes out at night, but I was so afraid the passion and lust would awaken it in some way. I did not want to hurt you. I can be quite strong, and you are so delicate.”

“What is it?”

Jack nods, swallowing down something that seemed painful. “My mother told me that my body was formed by Amorette, but my soul was forged by Valery. It causes a rift in me, creating both it and I.” He looks down at his hands. “It is war, and I am love.”

I press my mouth into a tight line. “But both are you.”

“Yes.” He wraps himself in a hug. “My brothers called me the Berserker. It was their idea that at night I bind myself, so that way, no one gets hurt.”

My stomach seizes. “You’ve hurt others before?” 

Jack hangs his head down very low. His body sags, shivering as he begins to sob. 

“I see.” Tears stream down from my eyes, falling to my cheeks.

After a long moment of cold silence, Jack lifts his head to speak again. “My family lived here once.” He glances out the window. “In that house.”

Chills travel down my body. 

“It was found out my father had married Headless women, and so we were forcibly removed. It was the middle of the night, and they found me in the basement.” He stops and clears his throat. “That doesn’t matter anymore, but I always wanted to come back here. My mother’s friend became my mentor, he taught me to preach, to know what joy is, inside and out. I wanted to come back to him, to learn that and to find a way to accept-”

“You lived in that house,” I whisper. “My father said they tortured the Headless there.”

“They did, for a while.” Jack wipes his eyes. 

For the next few weeks, I kept my distance from Jack. I couldn’t exactly leave him; if I did, I would have nowhere else to go. I would not be welcomed back into my own home for leaving my husband, and the town would look down upon me for abandoning their beloved pastor. So, I remained, and Jack kept his word to stay away from me as long as I wished it.

I would see glimpses of him around the home and, at night, I knew exactly where he was. I was lonesome and heartbroken. I so wanted things to go back to the way they were, but I was afraid to face the lies as well. 

One afternoon, I return home from shopping to find Jack in the kitchen. He is eating an apple that I know had gone bad and was intending to feed to my goat.

“I didn’t know when you’d be back, so I was-” He clears his throat. “I’ll go back to my study.”

I look at the pitiful apple in his hand and I sigh. “Is that all you’ve had to eat today?”

He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’ve done worse.”

I yank the apple from him and toss it out the window. “Stay put.” I take my basket, unpacking the fresh cheese and bread I had bought. I slice it for him, along with grapes I had been given in the market.

“Thank you,” he marvels. He eats while I put things away.

When he’s done, he sets the plate aside and stands. “Thank you again, Salome. Your kindness means the world to me.” 

“Wait.”

He stands still in the doorway. “Yes?”

I am tired of being alone, of having a husband and being too afraid to touch him. I want his touch, I need to be held. I am starving for that affection I knew all too briefly. 

Jack turns, looking at me as I gaze at him. He moves back into the kitchen, capturing me in his arms and kissing me. I kiss him in return, gasping for breath as it becomes something more than need.

I have to pull away to breathe, and even then his lips never leave me. He burns kisses into my skin, moaning in passion as he ruts his hips into mine. He quickly pulls away, saliva stringing from my skin to his tongue. He cups his hand around his mouth, breathing hard to cool the fire burning inside him.

I reach for him again, pulling him back against my body before we topple onto the ground. I pin him there, kissing him and tugging at his clothes.

“Salome,” his voice is pleasantly pitiful. “Be careful, please!”

I kiss his hairy stomach as I undo the laces on his britches. “Do you wish me to stop?”

“I don’t know,” he pants. “I just miss you so much. I want everything you wish to give me.”

“I miss you.” As his laces come free, so does a limb. The size of it could never be expected, but perhaps that is the Valery in him. Or more apt, the Amorette goddess in his veins. I kiss the shaft and dart my tongue over the flesh. I lick him from base to tip, kissing back down. 

I hike up my skirts and place myself on top of him. It takes me time to have him fit me. I have to work slow, easing myself down and back up. Jack keeps his fists tightly wrapped around the table leg. His skin is burning red, his lips are wet with drool, and his chest heaves in excitement. 

I take him deep, nearly crowing in my victory. I finally accepted my husband inside me, we were one being put together. But now, I realize, I had no idea what to do.

“Are you alright?” Jack pants.

I can only grunt in reply. “You?” I am unsure how to move, how to place myself. Do I use my legs, so I press my palms against him? I know I can squeeze myself around him, but what else is there? I roll my hips as if rocking, feeling him so deep inside me. I bite my lip, holding back the strange sounds building in my throat. 

“Salome,” he moans. “Salome.”

I press my hands into his thighs for leverage, leaning forward so that I can move a little easier. He flops out of me completely and I cry out in frustration. I stand up and quickly remove my skirts. I kneel over Jack again to take him inside me. I go slow, savoring him as he slips back into place. I lean forward again, going slower this time as I move. 

I can feel him so deep inside me, so warm and rigid. I thrust back harder, faster, feeling my wetness splash onto his thighs. My mind is jumbled, but every tousled thought leads back to him. His voice rises above it, pulling me towards him. I rise up to kiss him, to clasp his face between my palms. 

“Stop now!” He whines. “Please, stop!”

“What’s wrong?” I pant.

“I’ll come! Please, stop!”

I lift myself up and his cock falls against his stomach. As it does, it spurts across his chest and belly. He writhes and cries out, snarling through gnashed teeth then whimpering like a puppy. I taste him, licking his essence from his chest. Jack reaches for me, pulling me so I am sitting on his face. He snarls again, moaning against my folds. I fear I’ll suffocate him, but his kisses shatter my mind. I turn to lightning and thunder, and soon I’m laying on the cold kitchen floor beside him.

We lay in silence, but it is a comforting one. I kiss his chest gently, stroking my fingers along his skin. I smile to myself and bow my head against his shoulder.

“What are you thinking?” 

“I don’t know anymore. I thought I knew what I wanted, but this just proved I have no clue.” I gaze down his chest and stomach, spying his cock laying against his thigh. “What are you thinking?”

“About you.” His hand rubs up and down my back. 

“Why did you want me to stop before when you were so close?”  I ask.

He sighs. “I did not want my seed to plant inside you. I don’t want my child to be like-” His voice catches and he shuts his mouth tight.

“To be like you.” I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of his skin.

“Yes.” Jack sits up, also helping me to rise. He looks at me, his eyes grazing down my skin before focusing on my eyes again. His fingers comb through my hair before he gives me a soft kiss. “I was not lying when I said I loved you.”

That evening, I dream again of the house. Only this time, I am standing inside. I look back to see the door is hanging off the hinges and there are claw marks going out the door. I look back, seeing that throat like hallway pulse before me. Blood gushes and bubbles from it, pooling at my feet and filling in the claw marks. As I reach into the shadows, something grabs me by my waist and pulls me back. I hit the floor and the hands try to squeeze me between the claw marks. A hand reaches out to me, grabbing me and pulling me towards the throat.

I wake up cold in bed. The bright light of the full moon floods the bedroom. I get out of bed and find myself wandering towards the kitchen. I open the pantry door to the stairs that lead to the basement. The stairs creak and groan as I step upon them, and I can hear a voice down below. It’s deep and rumbles, vibrating the walls, going between my toes and through my veins. It chatters away, whispering to itself, sometimes laughing, sometimes hysterical. It goes still and quiet and, as I come off the stairs, I see it chained to the wall.

The hulking body sags from its confines, chained along the neck and wrists. If it struggles, the chains will tighten and choke it. No, not it, my husband.

“Get out!” My husband roars. “Get out!” He struggles and thrashes, choking himself and causing the shackles to dig into his flesh.

I step closer despite my fear. “No!”

He glares down at me, those vibrant blue eyes piercing into my mind, my soul, my everything. “Do you want to die?”

I shake my head and sit down on a crate before him. “Jack,” I whimper, “I got scared.”

His arms thrash still, but not as violently as before. 

“I had a bad dream.” I wrap my arms around myself. “I’ve been having these dreams for so long now, and I’m so tired.”

He snarls and sniffs.

“It’s about that house, the one that used to be on the hill.” I look up at him with tears streaming down my face. “It keeps trying to hurt me.”

Jack’s breathing is harsh, going very fast for a while, then slowing into deep, prolonged growls. 

“Something keeps trying to grab me and pull me.” I close my eyes as the tears begin to flow freely. “When I was little, my friends and I went inside. We all dared each other to go into the basement. I wouldn’t, so they dragged me down and locked me inside. I was there for two days and when my parents found me, they had the house torn down. But the house is still with me.”

“Salome.”

I look up at Jack and I smile sadly at him. “It’s with you too, isn’t it?” I rise slowly from my seat. “Can I hold you?”

Jack flinches, recoiling from my touch, but I persist. I place my hands upon his arms then slowly press my face against his chest. Jack roars and thrashes, but I continue to hold him. I bring the crate close so I can stand on it and I press his head to my shoulder. I feel his sharp teeth against my shoulder, but he stops before he breaks any skin.

“It’s okay.” I expose my neck to him. “Jack.”

His teeth puncture the flesh, and it burns at first. His tongue laps over the beads of blood bubbling up to the surface. He moans and snarls, drinking my blood into him. His hands wrap around my waist, and suddenly, I feel safe.

“Jack,” I moan into his ear.

His lips pull back red, and his tongue laps over his teeth. He looks into my eyes and roughly kisses me. He bites my lip and my tongue, but I move him to being gentle. His tongue laps around my lips and I bite it in return. His growl is a pleasured one. He licks at my neck again, tasting more blood.

“Salome,” he moans. “Salome!”

“Yes, Jack,” I moan. “It’s okay.”

I stay with him all night, waking in the morning to see him easily slip from the shackles. He kneels down before me, kissing me passionately.

“You fool! It could have killed you!” 

I wrap my arms tight around him. “I knew you wouldn’t.”

“I’ll never be able to pay back what you did for me.” Jack has tears running down his face, but a bright smile revealing his dimples once again.

I poke my finger into a dimple and chuckle. “I love you, Jack. I would do anything for you.”

We go to the top of the hill where the house once was. There were traces of it, including the fireplace and some of the stone foundation. A chill rattled through me, so I clung to Jack’s arm for support. 

“What do you remember about this place?” Jack asks.

“Cold, and dark.” I look into his eyes. “There was no light in the basement, except what came through the locked door.”

Jack kisses my forehead. “I remember my mother.” He kneels in front of the fireplace to pray. “She was holding me, even though I was beyond the age to be held like a baby.” He slips his fingers through the dirt and ash of the fireplace, finding greenery and life within. “She risked her life to save me.”

I sit beside him and turn my eyes towards the sapphire sky. I take in a deep breath of fresh air and earth, and I feel Jack’s lips upon my skin. I close my eyes as his warmth floods over me. I turn, accepting his kiss.

The nightmare doesn’t come to me like it used to. I can fall asleep and not worry that I will wake again. If I do have a nightmare, I go downstairs to Jack. Some nights I am able to approach, other nights I know to stay back from him. But still, there are nights I need my husband.

“Was there a reason you chose me?” I ask one evening.

His eyes peer through his curtain of hair. “You seemed strong.”

I shrug. “Was that all?”

“You made me feel at peace.” Jack tilts his head to the side, leaning against the chains. “You made me feel safe.”

I smile. “I did?”

“You do.” His tongue darts over his teeth. “Why did you choose me?”

I feel a bit ashamed. “Shallow reasons. But as I grew to know you, you had a way of making me feel beautiful even when I’m not.”

“That’s fucking stupid,” he snarls. 

“I know,” I whimper.

“You’re always beautiful, Salome.”

I look up at him and sniffle. “You’re just saying that.”

“Look at me,” he growls. “What would I gain from lying to you now? You’re beautiful, Salome. I don’t care what others have said to you. They are wrong.”

“Thank you,” my voice chokes. “You’re beautiful too.”

Jack chuckles. “As long as you think so, I’m happy.”