Rakshasa Boyfriend: Naveen 2 (special preview)

“I think it will be a long engagement,” Naveen chuckled. “Just until we get used to it.” He took hold of my hands. “Once we’re comfortable, then we can discuss the wedding.”

“You sure?” My voice cracked. “It doesn’t bother you?”

“I’m very sure.” Naveen kissed my knuckles. “This wedding doesn’t need to happen all of a sudden now that we’re engaged. We can take our time and figure out what we want.”

I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him close as relief poured from me. ‘Until marriage’ still had an undetermined date, and I could live with that. Even still, it was now an ever looming dark cloud. Eventually, I would have to talk to him about me being asexual, and if he couldn’t accept it then, maybe, I couldn’t accept him. I didn’t want to think about losing him in any capacity, because I really and truly did want to marry Naveen. I also knew I would have to prepare for the possibility it could all end.

I enjoyed seeing the ring on my hand, I liked the idea of Naveen searching for the perfect one to give to me. I loved the meaning behind the ring and the fact there was a future behind it. I was always so scared of moving forward, this was the first time the future didn’t scare me.

One afternoon, I was having a lunch date with my sister. We went downtown to our favorite sushi place when we passed by a wedding dress store. In the window there was a dress that, when I saw it, I could only describe it as love at first sight. I was almost near tears seeing it, so Izzy took me inside to see if I could try it on then and there.

The lady was really nice and got it from the window for us, telling us it had been in the shop so long she was ready to just leave it to gather dust in the window. She helped me try it on, and both Izzy and I cried when we saw it. I scheduled a try on for the dress so that way my mother could see it too. I was already going to choose the dress, but if my mother had the same reaction, then I knew it was fate. She cried at every dress, but for the one I wanted, she went completely silent. Her eyes got wide and her mouth hung open. I’d never seen her so in awe before. I knew it was fate.

That evening, I had already planned a dinner with Naveen. I went to his place with food to cook, so while we chatted over the stove as things sizzled, I blurted out my find.

“You found a dress?” Naveen had a slice of bell pepper hanging in his mouth as he looked at me, golden eyes wide as I stood there, shivering, waiting for his response. His smile blossomed and he stepped closer. “Can I see it?”

“Isn’t that against the rules?” I laughed anxiously. I twisted and tugged the dish rag in my hands nervously. “It’s perfect, and it was on sale too. But now that I’ve found a dress, well maybe-” I gulped down the large lump in my throat. “Maybe we should start looking for other pieces to the wedding?”

Naveen eyed me carefully. “You sure?”

I nodded. “Yes.” I knew my answer was definitive. “I want to marry you, Naveen.”

Naveen dipped down, kissing me while unwinding my hands from the cloth. “We’ll take our time, no rush, no panic. We can do this our way.”

“I know,” I whispered. “I’m not worried about that.”

This was true, the wedding didn’t scare me, it was the fact I had yet to tell Naveen I was asexual. I needed to tell him, right now I was the asshole in all of this for withholding it for so long. I should have said something in the beginning, but now I was in too deep. I needed to screw my courage to the sticking place, but I kept flittering on it. 

We decided to have the wedding in the park adjacent to the library. It was close to where we met, and there was a darling gazebo where we could do the ceremony. After that, we’d have the reception in the big meeting room of the library. Things were moving smoothly, which was best for me. But once that date was set in stone, I started to feel the pressure building inside me. Milo was on high alert more so than ever, and I was growing ever more concerned I couldn’t hide it. 

“We should start looking for places,” Naveen said one afternoon.

“We have a place, what are you talking about?” I looked up at him as he gazed across the street where downtown turned into a row of houses.

“Not a place for the wedding, but a place for us.” He took hold of my hand and clutched it close. “I mean, we could move into my place, but wouldn’t it be nice to make our own little love nest?”

My eyes grew wide and Naveen put his hand on the small of my back.

“Not to panic you or anything. Just a thought is all.” His hand rubbed up and down my back slowly. “I know your mind is focused on other things right now, so we’ll keep to living in my place and we can start looking for something once the honeymoon wears off. Ok?”

“Honeymoon.” I could take moving to a new place with Naveen, but he had to go and mention honeymoon too. Love nest. Honeymoon. I wanted all those things with Naveen, but he had expectations for those things too.