Swan Boyfriend: Hansal Part One (complete)

A long time ago, my brother Edgar and I joined a traveling carnival. It was during a time in our lives where we were both struggling, and the ringleader took us in. Edgar ended up staying for the long haul, but after a while, I had to fly the coop. I still meet up with my brother from time to time, joining him at the carnival for a few days before we go our separate ways. 

The carnival was never my cup of tea, which could be taken as sacrilege by some. How could anyone not like Mr. Faire? How could someone not think the carnival was the best place in the whole world? That’s the thing - the whole place is like its own isolated world. It’s a little paradox of a world within a world, with all these little galaxies and spaces within it. It became too much for me, like an albatross around my neck. I didn’t like being tied to it, so I decided to leave, and since then I have been on my own in the real world.

This world felt bigger, more free. In the carnival, there were limits, walls to keep people from prying inside, but which also made me feel trapped. Sure, I am a bird, but I’m not a bird made for cages. I would much rather be outside looking in than inside looking out.

I am meeting up with my brother Edgar soon. The carnival is coming close to one of my favorite roosts, so I am flying out to see him again. On the way there is a huge pond where the Swan Maidens like to gather. It’s a lovely sight; all these beautiful, elegant creatures swimming in the pond. Their white feathers glisten and their powerful wings stretch out as they settle. It has become a favorite pastime of mine to sit and watch these lovelies. 

When I fly by on my way to visit my brother, I see the pond is full as usual, so I stop by the lake to enjoy my favorite sight.

“Oh look, it’s Woland,” one of the Swan Maidens scoffs.

“Get out of here, ya buzzard!” Another flaps her wings, splashing water up at me in the tree. “Didn’t we teach you a lesson last time?”

“You only further convinced me that you are the most perfect creatures on this earth,” I sigh dramatically, extending my wings and folding them back in. “I am humbled by your power and your viciousness.”

“Creatures, he calls us,” one scoffs. 

“I only call you such because words fail me!” I reply.

“Well, try!” They all start laughing.

I settle back on the branch, fluffing my feathers around my neck and shaking a bit. “Well,” I start with a laugh. “Thou art lovelier than a summer’s day-”

“Boo!” A chorus of jeers and taunts follow, with laughter mingled in.

“You know, I do so love to entertain you ladies and give you something to hate,” I laugh. “Why must you pick on me so?”

“Because you’re a creep!” one shouts from below.

I scoff and ruffle my feathers again. Then I spot one Swan Maiden coming from the lake. She gracefully shakes the water from her feathers and stretches her neck out. I have never seen someone so beautiful, so regal before. The sight of her makes my heart leap with excitement and bewilderment. 

I swoop down, landing on a stone near her. She glances at me. Her eyes are like fire. I know the swans and I tease one another, but I have always admired them and kept my distance from them. This one, however, makes me wish to speak the sonnets I read with Edgar as a child. This swan makes the youth in me rise up and want to dance and sway in the sky.

“Your beauty has bewitched me. Never have I come across someone as lovely and inspiring as you. Such a majestic vision as yourself must be the subject of painting and song.”

The swan tilts their head up and glares down at me. 

“I must know who you are! I have never been struck by someone’s beauty before quite like you.” My heart hammers anxiously in my chest.

The swan sniffs. “I thought Pan was full of shit, but you take the cake.” Their voice is deep, very deep.

“I, uh-” I hesitate and stammer. “I beg your pardon.”

The swan rises up, taking a human form as their feathers cascade down their back. Their white hair is all tossed to one side, revealing their muscular neck and strong jawline. They kneel down to me.

“The man who fathered my sisters was once - I thought - the most disgusting mass of shit in the world. You may just give him a run for his money.” His face is beautiful, elegant but wholly masculine.

“You’re… You’re a man?” I gasp. I flap my wings, spinning as I take my human shape. The swan before me is massive, strong, and beautiful. I have always been a bit short, as crows are, but I feel almost diminutive before this man, who is more like artwork than living, breathing flesh.

“Beat him up, Hansal!” one of the Swan Maidens shouts.

“Look at Woland!” another cackles. “He’s about to lose it.”

I swallow back a lump in my throat and chuckle nervously. “Hansal, is it?”

He towers over me, looking down his nose at me. His hair catches a breeze, moving away from the left side of his face and revealing a mass of scars there. He steps towards me, and I take a step back.

“I’ve been told you come here and bother the ladies,” he replies. “I had no idea the culprit was a mere crow.”

“Mere crow?” I balk. “How dare you? I am no mere crow at all! Just as you appear to be no mere swan.” I raise my hand, motioning along his body. My heart is still hammering wildly. I have seen many an alluring man, but this Hansal is different. 

“He’s the Crown Prince, you idiot!” one of the swans yells.

I nearly lose my feathers from the shock. I scoff and hiccup for a moment until I can gain my bearings again. “You? You’re the prince?”

Hansal arches a brow. “Are you going to play nice now because of that?” He shakes his head. “Although I really shouldn’t be surprised.” He waves his hand. “Look at you. I suppose you have to talk big to feel big.”

I grimace at him. “I am plenty big enough! Just because I am not some giant like you, doesn’t mean I am something small!”

“I much prefer Ravens if I am to have the company of a blackbird,” Hansal places his hand on his hip. “Even if Crows are cuter.”

I scowl at him. “You think I’m cute?”

Hansal’s eyes scan me for a moment. Then he glances back into my eyes. “I suppose, to some, you may be considered cute. They say good things come in small packages, after all.” He smirks. “You might look good all wrapped up in ribbon.”

“Oh, come on, Hansal, leave the poor fella alone. He’s harmless,” a swan scoffs from the lake. “He doesn’t deserve your weird flirting.”

Hansal suddenly goes stiff. His feathers fluff up and he glances back at me. His pale skin almost looks flushed around his face and ears.

The Swan Maidens all start to giggle and titter behind Hansal.

“I came down here to see what the hell was pestering you,” Hansal fusses back at them, turning away from me. “How dare you scoff at me?”

“We all know the reason you came down here!” a swan scolds.

“You didn’t come down here to be gentlemanly, you came down here to find gentlemen.” This causes an uproar of laughter.

Hansal remains stiff and he glares back at me, his face completely red. “What are you looking at?” he huffs.

“His future husband!” The swans continue to cackle and laugh. Hansal storms into the water, trying to scatter them, but the swans pay no heed and continue to tease their handsome prince.

“I will have all of you report to my mother!” Hansal snaps.

“Oh no, he’s going to tell his Mommy on us!”

I start to flinch away, having always known Swan Maidens were a vicious group. I start to step back, but am caught when Hansal turns to look at me again. I freeze in place, staring up at him, worried he’s going to blame me for the ribbing the swans are giving him.

“Where are you going?” Hansal seethes.

“Away.” My voice cracks. “Possibly far.”

Hansal stands erect. “A friend of mine owns a traveling carnival-”

“Mr. Faire?” I gasp. “That’s where I’m going!”

“Date! Date! Date!” the swans start chanting.

Hansal huffs and rolls his eyes. He brings up a hand with long, pitch-black fingers and rubs the bridge of his nose. “I am heading there to see Mr. Faire, as well as a few old friends I was just checking to see if our paths would cross.”

I am confused beyond reason. Before, he was taunting me, then he was calling me cute, and then he said I would look good tied up with ribbon. Am I going crazy? Or do swans just flirt very strangely?

Hansal lowers himself, shifting back into a swan. Then he flaps his wings, taking off and flying away.

“Woland!” the swans hiss. “Go after him!”

“I’m sorry,” I balk. “But when did you become matchmakers? And why the hell would you if you don’t like me?” 

One of the swans comes up to the edge of the water. “The prince has been feeling a bit low since the princesses returned. They’re both getting wed and he’s feeling a bit lonesome. He’s always had a thing for cute shorties so we thought, hey, that annoying Crow might do.”

“He called me disgusting,” I scoff.

“Yeah well, he’s defensive. Ever since that Pan asshole came to the palace, he hasn’t let his guard down again,” the swan huffs.

I scoff and shift back into a Crow. “You’re all weird.” I fly off, heading towards the Carnival.

Once I see the peaks of the tents, I feel a bit better. Once I get to spend some time with my brother, I think everything will be okay. I land in the Carnival, remembering the old days when I was little. I had been a toddler when Edgar brought us here. He was sixteen, I was three, and our parents had been killed by Hawks. Edgar barely escaped with me before losing one of his eyes. Somehow, we found ourselves in the carnival and were taken care of. I was raised by my brother in Scarebrooke, where I spent much of my time in the library, reading and discovering the world outside the fence of the carnival.

I think, due to the attack on our parents, Edgar had grown frightened of the world outside. He felt safe with Mr. Faire and in Scarebrooke, he found his place in the world. But, young and headstrong as I was, I wanted to find my place in the world too. I wanted to see the world and not just read about it in the words of Keats, Byron, and Shelley - both Shelleys, actually.

I go into Scarebrooke, seeing a few new sights already. When I look up, a Raven is perched on a lamppost above me.

“What? You gonna shit on me?” I chuckle.

Edgar flies down, shifting into his human form. He stands tall, a bit heavier than the last time I saw him. He adjusts the glasses on his face and smirks. “Was hoping to get the drop on you!” He hugs me tight. “It’s good to see you, brother. How have you been faring?”

I shrug. “The usual, I suppose.”

“Do you still work for Robin?” Edgar asks as we start to walk down the main street of Scarebrooke.

“I still do deliveries from time to time,” I say with a nod. “What about you? How has the carnival been faring?”

Edgar chuckles. “Well,” he sighs. “We have been dealing with quite the shakeup around here.”

I furrow my brow. “What kind of shakeup?”

“Muna, Fye, and Bron all left,” Edgar says with a sigh. “Dimitri and Valentine as well.”

I am gobsmacked. The three of them had practically been the whole show back in the day. It was because of them that the carnival existed as it did. I had grown up with Dimitri and Valentine, and they had been some of my closest friends. It seems so strange that they would just take off like that. 

I grab Edgar’s arm. “Why? What happened? How could they just leave like that?”

“They were reunited with their missing children,” Edgar says simply. “Barbol and Farrow turned up in Hearthway Hollow.”

“The werewolf place?” I scoff.

“They decided to stay there,” Edgar bows his head. “It’s been quite hard getting used to, but we are finding our stride. Oriharu has taken over the cabaret and he’s done a wonderful job of it.”

“But they’re just gone? Just like that?” I snap my fingers.

“They’ll return one day or another,” Edgar chuckles. “It won’t be forever. They simply want to be with their children and grandchildren.”

“Oh wow,” I whisper. “It just… I can’t quite wrap my head around it. It seems so odd to not have them here. They were the carnival to me.”

“Such as things are, brother,” Edgar smiles down at me. “You left, remember?”

“Yeah, but-” I scoff and tilt my head towards my shoulder. “I didn’t matter like Muna, Fye, and Bron did! It’s totally different.”

Edgar furrows his brow at me. “You mattered like that to me.”

I slouch a bit, pouting at his words.

Edgar puts his hand on my back. “Come along, now. I only have you for a short amount of time and I want to catch up with you on everything.”

“Not much has changed, really. Just still kind of wandering around in the world.” I sigh. I look up, seeing the library ahead of us. The doors open and a gaggle of kids come running out, with Lancelot and Emberlie in tow.

“They’re still raising their own brood?” I chuckle. Then I gasp when I see Hansal come and join Lancelot on the stairs.

“Oh yes, we find the little ones everywhere we go. Lancelot and Emberlie take every one of them with joy.” Edgar inspects my expression. “What’s got you so slack-jawed all of a sudden?”

“The swan,” I murmur, slightly ducking behind a tree. “Who is he?”

“A friend of Lancelot’s,” Edgar replies. “He took in a couple of cygnets a few years ago that Lancelot and Emberlie had found. I suppose he’s been raising them as his own ever since.” Then he frowns at me. “Why are you hiding? Do you know him?”

“I, uh… long story,” I chuckle nervously. “Let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving, and-” I stop as the children all rush towards Edgar to show him the books they’ve picked out.

“Well, well, look who’s back home.” Emberlie beams up at me.

I glance around nervously for Hansal. “Yeah, I was close by again.” I give her a hug. “I see you’ve still got your hands full.”

“It’s what we love,” Emberlie chuckles. “Oh!” She grabs my hand. “Woland, I want you to meet a dear friend of ours.” She tugs me close as Hansal and Lancelot join the group. “This is Hansal.”

Hansal’s cheeks turn pink and he clears his throat.

“Hi,” I murmur. “Nice to, uh… meet you.”

“Yeah,” his eyes dart over me. “You too.”

“A few years ago, we had found a couple of cygnets who were injured,” Emberlie starts. “They were getting sick, so Lancelot got connected to Hansal through Robin.”

I look up at Hansal as Emberlie talks. He’s still beautiful, but something about him now reads as timid and soft.

“He took both the Cygnets in,” Lancelot continues. “He brings them to visit us from time to time. He’s come to pick the girls up now to take them home.”

I then glance down, seeing two girls with heather-gray hair come racing forward. Their hair holds streaks of white which may someday become their permanent color.

“Papa!” one of the girls peeps. “Can we stay for the show tonight?”

The other girl holds onto Hansal’s hand and swings off it. “Ollie is putting on a special show for all the kids! Can we please stay, Papa?”

Hansal huffs, kneeling down to be on the girls’ level. “I made a promise to your aunties to have you home so they could play with you.”

“But Papa!” both girls whine in unison.

Hansal smiles. “Don’t worry, that’s tomorrow,” he laughs. “I planned on staying the night here and then we could leave in the morning.”

The girls gasp and wrap their arms around his neck, peeping and cheering as he stands up with them in his arms. I’m not sure why, but seeing him hold those adorable girls makes me find him even more beautiful.

“Want to join us tonight, Woland?” Emberlie asks. “Oriharu is doing a special performance for the kids, and then we’re decorating cupcakes afterwards.”

“He’ll be there,” Edgar chuckles. “I promised Oriharu to help out with a few things, so I was already planning on dragging my brother along.”

“Are you a crow too?” one of the girls peeps at me.

“He’s really cute!” the other chirps.

Hansal grimaces, no doubt reminded of the ribbing at the lake not but a few hours earlier. “Rinatte, Wibke,” he softly scolds.

“Such fancy names for such small things,” I interject. “You must be expected to grow into quite beautiful and elegant ladies.”

Wibke and Rinatte giggle as they hug their father’s neck. 

“You must be princesses,” I say. I take some paper from my pocket and show them how I fold it. “Do you have crowns?”

They giggle and shake their heads.

“What are you doing, Crow?” Hansal huffs.

I finish folding one piece and hold it up. “I am giving the princesses a crown.” I place the origami crown in Rinatte’s hair, then quickly fold another for Wibke. They both gasp in awe, looking over the crowns.

“How’d you do that?” Wibke asks, her big black eyes staring at me.

“It’s origami. Dr. Haytham taught me when I was your age,” I say with a flourish. “And I keep shiny paper on hand. Never know when you need to flatter a couple of pretty birds.”

The girls titter more and snuggle into their father’s hair.

Hansal glances down at me. His dark eyes have a softness to them I have never seen before. “Thank you,” he says softly. “And… I’m sorry about earlier.”

My heart is pounding away again. I am not used to such beautiful people. “The swans said you get defensive, so just don’t let it happen again and I’ll forgive you.”

Hansal smiles. “I’ll see you at the performance, then.” His voice is smooth, a touch sensual. “I’ll save a cupcake for you.”

I swoon for a moment, nearly running into Edgar as I turn. “What?” I scoff at him as he gives me a look.

“He’s literally a prince, Woland. Be careful,” Edgar says with a wink.

I scoff and ruffle my feathers. “What are you thinking? All I did was make crowns for the kids!”

“Uh-huh,” Edgar laughs knowingly. “You also started drooling when he smiled at you. I know how you get, Woland. Shiny things distract you.”

I’m not too certain, but I may be in trouble. I always had a weakness for beautiful things, and it’s part of what made me want to go out into the real world. It’s part of why I work for Robin. It’s part of why I am steadily, rapidly drawing closer to Hansal. If I am not careful, I could fall and fall hard. I must step with caution from this point forward, one misstep and I’ll tumble. I’ll tumble down, unable to stop myself from falling in love with Hansal.