The Seal is Broken!

They may not look very glamorous*… yet… but I have roughed/"pencilled" out the first three pages of DD4. Going straight from the thumbnail, I have "broken ground" on the clean line art.

This is only really post-worthy because it is emotionally significant. I was talking to a friend today—let's say "Suzie"—who was relating a story of her friend—let's say "Kevin"—who in turn was new to painting and unhappy with the results. Suzie reassured Kevin, "what are you talking about? It looks great!" To which Kevin replied, "but I just want to skip to the point where I know what I'm doing, where it feels good."

Dear Reader, let me assure you

it never feels good.

Any time I have to switch into a new mode, establish a new routine, a new habit, exercise a set of atrophied muscles, it feels bad. It is scary and miserable and I am convinced I do not know what I am doing. You might call it anxiety. I am not sure.

I have been complimented on the colour artwork in Delilah Dirk, and every time I've sat down to start the colour process on each book, it has been terrifying. I don't know why. That's just the way it is. That's the way it was here, with these first pages of DD4.

And in this case, I was trying something relatively new. I've skipped the step where I would draw roughs, enlarge them in the computer, tighten them up (and fuss over imperfections), and print out those roughs as the base for my pencil work. Going straight from the thumbs is a new thing for me. Accordingly, I was a bundle of nerves last weekend, knowing I would have to tackle this. And now I've done it—set the blue pencil marks on the page—and I'm excited to keep going. Are these pages perfect? Nah, not really, but they're something (I'm even secretly pleased with a few parts), and a mostly-pleasing something is better than a nothing. Just another instance of the "done is better than perfect" maxim.

So this post is here to be the reminder that I always seem to need no matter how many times I learn the lesson: it always feels awkward and anxious and nervous to shift into a new task, but the only thing to do about it is get some work done, and then the feeling passes.

* Frig, how do I get my iPhone camera to set a consistent white balance? No, nevermind, I know, I know, download Halide or something like that.