Alien Girlfriend Goldie (complete)

    A few months ago something really strange happened. During the meteor shower, several of the meteors came down and crashed on Earth, in my small town nonetheless. No one had expected it, so as soon as it was done town was swarmed with all sorts of people. There were scientists, new crews, government officials, UFO chasers, pagan worshippers. If it sounds insane and from a cheesy 1950’s B movie, it’s here now. 

    The craters where the meteors hit are swarmed constantly. The one where Mr. Johnson’s barn used to be seems to be the biggest and gaining the most attention. Unfortunately, that’s the one closest to me.

    When it hit, the ground shoot and I lost a great big chunk of my glassware. It was shocking, having woken me from a solid sleep by plopping me on the ground. Most of Mr. Johnson’s animals have migrated to my yard as well, fed up with the massive crowds of people as well as the shock of the meteor crash.

    I’ve been noticing a lot of people in my yard as well, despite the fact that the meteor crashed in Mr. Johnson’s barn. They’re scanning my yard and wandering around the perimeters of the woods just behind my house. I called the cops once, but they left without so much as a worry. Part of me thinks they bribed the officers away.

    Don’t get me started on work either. I work at a small greasy spoon in the downtown area. One of those places open twenty-four hours a day serves breakfast all day, and you can put anything in your hash browns. I have worked there on and off since I was in high school, not to mention it was probably the first place I ate solid food as a baby. It was a local staple, a landmark of its own right. Usually sleepy and quiet with the smell of fresh waffles and coffee always brewing. It was the place where high schoolers did their homework before heading to school, the farmers had their lunch, and where everyone nursed their hangover. 

    Now, it was overrun with people who were far from local. All those I mentioned before came there in droves, sometimes three times a day. What was once a pretty easy waitressing gig had become a full-fledged nightmare.

    I was used to my usual difficult customers, but this new crop brought about a level of difficulty I hadn’t seen. I can’t count how many bad tips, or even no tips, I’ve gotten. Not to mention how ragged the rest of the staff has been run. In fact, one of the cooks up and left one day, saying he would come back when the riff-raff left.

    So now, I was working the grill some days and my usual job others. There were days when I came home smelling like I had bathed in bacon and waffles but too tired to even wash my face. I’ve woken up a couple times not even having changed. 

    “I don’t know how much longer I can take this,” Lisa, a good friend, and coworker scoffs as we sit in the parking lot before our shift.

    We sit in her car, watching people file in and out in and out. It looks like something from an old video game where the movements are program and repeated on loop.

    “Why are they even here?” I ask. “I mean, aside from the meteors. You’d think they would be done and gone by now, but everyone is still here.”

    “Mr. Johnson is having to move too,” Lisa says, taking a drag from her cigarette then flicking the ashes out her window.

    “Wait.” I gasp and turn to look at her, “what?”

    Lisa scoffs and laughs. “Yeah!” She sighs, and smoke flows from her nostrils. “Someone bought his farm, so he’s trying to find a way to relocate his animals until he can move.”

    “That’s-” I hesitate. “That’s fucking crazy! How they just going to take over the town?” I scoff.

    “Invasion of the body snatchers,” Lisa says, using her Jack Nicholson impersonation. “They’re going to swarm us and take over. Replace us in the name of preservation. The government planned this ages ago. As if those meteors were a surprise. They knew all along. They’ve just been waiting.”

    I stare at Lisa long and hard. “You’re insane.”

    “Or am I so sane?” Lisa smirks.

    I shake my head silently at her. “Are there conspiracy theories for this already?” I ask as I get out of Lisa’s car.

    “It’s common sense,” Lisa says as she follows after me. “Just look at this bullshit,” she says and flourishes her hand towards the packed diner. “Like you said, why are these fuckers still here? Why linger? Why worship a crater?”

    “I can understand worshipping a crater,” I tease as we go around to the back to go inside.

    “Thank fucking god you’re here,” one of the other waitresses gasps when we walk inside. She rushes up to us. “It’s crazy today.”

    “How is that different?” I ask as we take off our coats and reach for aprons.

    She looks at me like I just looked at Lisa. “You’ve not heard?”

    Lisa and I exchange looks. “Heard what?” I say as I slip on my apron.

    “They’re saying something came with one of those meteors. Something alive,” she snaps, crossing her arms against her chest. “We’ve got a shit ton of video bloggers out there who say they’re going to hunt the woods. Not to mention a new slew of jackasses.”

    “Something alive?” Lisa scoffs. “Like an alien?”

    “Not like, it is an alien. What else would it be?” The waitress huffs.

    I shrug. “Mutated cow? Turned into a minotaur by the radiation of the meteor?” I say with a grin.

    “Not, fucking, funny,” the waitress huffs. “This could be serious!”

    “Oh the next Bigfoot,” Lisa says. “Hey, we could easily turn this town into the new Roswell,” she bounces with excitement. “How cool would that be?”

    “If that’s the case, I’m moving. I don’t care what my husband says,” the waitress scoffs, making a quick escape as we clock in.

    Lisa laughs, and I glance at her. “What’s that ominous giggle about?” I ask.

    “You must be excited to hear about an alien,” she says. “You’ve got all those Godzilla figures and shit all over your house.”

    “Kaiju,” I huff. “I’ve told you this a thousand times, all giant monsters aren’t called Godzilla they’re kaiju!”

    “Cupcake is still just a cake,” Lisa says with a shrug, and I grimace at her.

    “Abby,” one of the cooks yells back at me. “I need you on the grill.”

    I sigh. “Well fuck.”

    Lisa pats my back. “Good luck with that.” 

    We both step out of the door, peering at the crowd. I see a bunch of people filming, and Lisa grimaces.

    “Youtubers,” she groans.

    “It’s going to be a beautiful day,” I grumbled with an exasperated breath.

    Lisa clicks her tongue. “Hi ho, hi ho.”

    Not only did I end up having to work the grill, I also agreed to cover a shift for one of the waitresses who was sick. I worked all day, finally coming out of the diner when it is dark and cold. I’m exhausted, my feet hurt, and I’m mentally drained. I feel like I can barely form a sentence, let alone drive myself home.

    I sit down at the back of the restaurant, resting my back against the cold bricks. I’ve taken my shoes off and let my toes ache from the cold rather than having run around like a chicken with its head cut off all day.

    The diner is still busy, people haven’t stopped coming all day. The booming news that there is now an alien in our woods has spread faster than a cold. Everyone and their mother is here hoping to capture footage of the supposed creature, not to mention people just straight up thinking they can catch something that doesn’t exist.

    I’m nearly half sleep sitting on a cinderblock. My eyelids are heavy, and my head keeps bobbing as I try to fight the urge to pass out. I then hear something, and I snap to attention. In the woods, I hear something skittering and running around. I jump to my feet as it sounds like it’s running towards me. I’m frozen in fear and exhaustion.

    It barrels towards me and then bursts out. I scream then gasp in relief when I see it’s Genghis, the dog who frequents the diner for scraps.

    “Dammit, Genghis!” I snap at him as he grins up at me and wags his tail. “Some fucking alien,” I laugh with relief.

    Genghis trots over to the door where he has his own bowl and starts slurping up water. I pick up my shoes and head over to my car.

    The adrenaline rush that Genghis gave me was enough to get me home. Once there I went directly into the shower, not wasting this spurt of energy while I had it. I wash up, scrubbing myself so hopefully, my clean sheets wouldn’t smell like maple syrup when I woke up in the morning.

    I go to bed immediately after, not caring what sleeping on wet hair would turn me into come dawn. I snuggle down, literally melting into my bed. I can feel sleep heavy on me. I’m almost asleep, idling somewhere in between reality and coma. I look up at my window, seeing three glowing golden orbs just outside just as I pass out.

    I wake up the next morning, my body stiff and my feet cramping. “Holy shit,” I groan, sitting up. My hair doesn’t move, and I curse last night me for being a gigantic idiot.

    I barely remember my dream from the night, those three glowing orbs outside my window. I just remember this odd, itching feeling at the back of my neck, like I was being watched. I lay in bed a while longer, wishing I had telekinetic powers and could make myself a cup of coffee with bourbon without moving.

    I then hear something above me. It’s skitters and rustles, sounding like it’s coming from my attic. I groan. “Fucking squirrels again.”

    I then hear a beam groan and my eyes snap to attention to the roof. “Raccoons?” I groan nervously. “Very, very, fat raccoons.”

    I huff and rub my face. Just outside, I hear laughter, and I sit up. Not far off my property, I see a bunch of kids with filming equipment. One comes running out the woods, screaming and crying as if they had seen something. A few moments later one of Mr. Johnson’s chickens comes blasting from the brush and attacking the kids.

    “Good chicken,” I grumble as I get up.

    I go into the kitchen, blessing that I have two days off in a row. Taking on that extra shift didn’t seem so bad now that it was in the past. I get the coffee pot ready, adding in the water. As I start to scoop the grounds into the filter, I hear the groaning in my attic again, like something heavy is walking across the beams.

    “Fuck,” I groan.

    I had planned on doing absolutely nothing these two days. This included never picking up the phone to call an exterminator to rid the fat ass raccoon who thinks it can now live in my attic. So, once it gets quiet, I decide I can ignore it again.

    I know this sounds odd, but even if I have slaved over grills and irons making bacon and the sort, I still love breakfast food. By now, most of the cooks on the line have said they no longer eat pancakes, waffles, and the life. If anything, working the line has made me love waffles more. I’ve even bought one of the waffle makers we use at work because I know how to handle it properly to get my waffles just right.

    As my coffee percolates, I start on the waffle batter. I use my grandmother’s recipe which is still leagues better than any waffle I’ve ever had. Once the griddle heats up, sizzling as I flick some water on the surface, I hear the groaning of the beams again and something moving in the attic.

“Fuck,” I huff. I grab my broom and strike it against the ceiling. “Go away!” I snap at it, whatever is living up there.

I huff and go back to making my breakfast, trying to ignore it as best I can. Right as I pour my coffee, I see something from the corner of my eye. In my bathroom there was movement. Through the crack of the door, I saw something slip down from the ceiling.

“Just great,” I slam down my coffee mug and pick up the broom. If it is squirrels, I can hopefully trap them in there, but if it is a fat ass raccoon I could have problems.

I got into the bathroom, opening the door and it isn’t squirrels, and if it is a raccoon, it’s the biggest I’ve ever seen. I drop my broom as the creature that’s standing in my shower turns around to look at me. It has three golden eyes that shimmer. Its long face is smooth and pointed with a pink nose at the end. Two roundish ears flick up, the same pink as the nose.

“What the fuck?” I whisper as I take two steps back.

The creature’s hand come out, stretching from what I assumed was an amorphous mass of a body. It waves it’s long, pink hand, making a motion I had seen quite often at the dinner.

“Order,” the creature says with a singsong voice.

I’m struck speechless. My mouth hangs open as I stare at them.

The creature stretches out, taking less of a bean bag shape and a more ample pear-shape. The legs are thick and curvy while the top half is narrow is small. The arms are long, stretching out and tapping my shoulder.

“Order,” it says again. “I am very hungry.”

It talks like how a parrot would, mimicking the words it has heard around it. I swallow back my fear, still looking up at this creature.

“You’re hungry?” I ask, my voice cracking.

It pulls it hands back, placing them near its chest, so the arms disappear back into the soft body. It nods excitedly, their three eyes squinting.

“I...I have waffles?” My hand trembles as I point into the kitchen. I start walking, and it follows behind me. It ducks coming through the door, towering well above me.

I offer out the plate of waffles I had just made to the creature, and it happily takes one into each pink hand.

The way this creature is almost reminds me of a rat. The facial features, its hands, the beanbag chair shape it takes when not stretched out. If it wasn’t so huge, I would call it cute.

The creature happily munches, taking a bite from one hand then the other. It’s nose and whiskers twitch happily as it eats and their eyes remained squinted.

“Would you like syrup with that?” I ask.

It thrusts out one of the waffles, wiggling it until I dropped some syrup onto it. They then shove the whole waffle into their mouth, letting their cheeks inflate like a hamsters.

“Good?” I squeak nervously.

They nod happily, chewing rapidly and swallowing. Once the waffles were gone, they made motions with their hands. They stuck them together and pulled them apart then held them out to me.

“Are they sticky?” I ask.

They nod and look uncomfortable.

“Here,” I lead them over to the sink and turn on the water. I help them wash their hands and dry them on a towel.

The creature then picks me up, hugging me and nuzzling to my hair. I shocked beyond all reasoning. I don’t move, I barely even breathe.

“I’m sorry I’m scaring you,” a voice says directly in my head.

“What?” I gasp.

“I’m scared too,” they say, their voice is soft and sweet. “I hid here, I’m sorry. I didn’t know what else to do. All I’ve done is run and run. I was so tired I-”

I look up at the creature. “Are you...are you the alien?” I gasp.

The creature tilts their head and looks at me, their three eyes are sad and helpless. “Please, I don’t want to go back out there.” They set me down and then lower themselves before me.

I take a waffle from the plate and hand it to them. “Who are you?” I ask.

They then say something that makes my head hurt. I can’t understand it let alone comprehend it, so my entire brain just shuts down.

“Sorry,” they gasp. “Abby,” they say. “You can call me what you’d like.”

“Uhm,” I shake my head, feeling like there is scrap metal floating around my head. “Let’s continue, what are you?”

They point upwards. “I came from space,” they say. “There was a war raging on my planet, so there was an evacuation in effect,” they murmur as they slowly nibble on the waffle I offered. “I was knocked off course and landed here.” They point out the window. “From over that way.”

“The meteor from Mr. Johnson’s barn,” I murmur.

“I just ran,” they say. “I was so scared.”

“It’s ok,” I murmur to them. “You can...hide here, I guess,” I say as I look around my place. Not exactly the best place to hide an alien literally being hunted right now, but it was probably their best bet.

“Why were you evacuated?” I ask.

Their arms stretches out, and they touch their belly. “I’m fertile,” they say. “Able to carry on my kind in case anything should happen.”

“Oh,” I gasp. “So, are you female or do you have gender like that?”

“I prefer the feminine,” she says, tilting her head to the side. “But I don’t think it is quite the same as it is here.”

I smile at her, watching as she finishes off the waffle. “You’re not going to try and take over the earth by breeding, are you?”

“No!” She gasps. “My kind is peaceful. The war on my planet was an invasion itself. We were unprepared. That’s why I was evacuated. To protect my kind.” She then hangs her head and wraps her pink hands around her snout. 

“I don’t know what help I can do for you,” I say, reaching out and petting her. “But I’ll do what I can.”

She reaches out, hugging me tight again. He body is warm and soft, her fur feels like an old mink coat my grandmother used to have.

I decide to name her Goldie, uncreatively after her three golden eyes. For the most part, she’s quiet. She only speaks when she feels she needs to, other than that she gets across her feelings quite well without it.

One day, after coming home from work, I find Goldie in my bedroom going through my side drawer.

“Whoa!” I snap at her, rushing forward and stopping her from delving too deep. “Nosy!” I huff at her.

She tilts her head then lifts my dildo up.

I freeze up, horrified and embarrassed she has it. “Goldie! Put that back!” I try to snatch it from her, but she pulls it back.

She sniffs it, closing her eyes as she does. Her tongue then darts out, licking it.

“Goldie, no!” I snap at her.

“It smells like you,” her voice is sultry and sweet. “I like it very much.”

My cheeks are burning already, but now they’re on fire and burning me alive. “Goldie,” I grumble under my breath, not exactly sure how to respond to that.

Goldie then offers my dildo back. “I kept smelling it. It was driving me crazy.”

I snatch it away from her. “Well, next time ask before you go snooping.”

Goldie dips down, pressing her nose to my cheek and then down my neck. It’s a strange sensation, but nice too.

“How do you use such a thing?” Goldie asks.

I grimace and turn my head away. “Well, uhm-”

Goldie then gasps. “Oh. I see.” She brushes her fingers through my hair and along my temple. 

“What do you see?” I grumble at her.

Her hand brushes down my chest and stomach, it stops short at my waistline. She nuzzles to my neck and cheek and looks into my eyes. Somehow, I can tell how Goldie is feeling. If she’s imprinting it on my mind or what, I’m not certain, but I can sense her arousal and attraction to me.

“Goldie,” I murmur, my body feeling warm.

She tilts her head, pressing a soft kiss to my lips. “Thank you,” she whispers.

“For what?” I gasp, catching my breath. 

“For everything,” she says and kisses me again.

The dildo plops to the floor, and I can’t help but giggle. Goldie stoops over, picking it up and setting it on the bed.

“Maybe one day, I’ll get to see how it works,” she purrs.