Sparks & Kindling

You know that Peaches song that starts “suckin on my titties like you wanted me, callin me all the time”? I heard her on the Las Culturistas podcast and she mentioned one of her inspirations for the song was the complete lack of titty sucking mentions in modern music. (She’s right, and she should say it.)

That song and the chorus (“fuck the pain away”) have been in my head for a variety of reasonable reasons. I’m counting down until next weekend when the gay gods will bless me with some quality time with someone who will make me see stars. I have some needs that desperately need tending to. Mama needs some time off ya know?

I’m also excited about a sapphic kink party that a few of us coven babes will be attending later this month THAT WE AREN’T HOSTING. 👀 It’s been a looooong time since I’ve attended a sex party strictly as a guest. Of course I’m also scouting the location for future coven party use… and we’ll be casually recruiting for our fall slumber party, so maybe that makes me a spy as well as a guest. But I’m excited to maybe flirt with some people while I’m not in hostess mode. And talk to my friends while I’m not in hostess mode. (Ms.O took these photos and made me pause and pose for the top photo, but then someone needed my attention for something hosting-related in the bottom photo.)

It’s nice to be off-duty for the night, but hosting also helps me temper my social anxiety. I have a reason to chat with people, a directive or a purpose. Some task to do if there’s a lull in conversation. There’s always something to do with my nervous hands. But it also means I don’t get to really delve deep with anyone, or get lost in the moment the way you do as a guest.

Catching chemistry with someone can be just as good as fucking when it comes to taking the pain away. I miss that intoxicating pull, curiosity and thrill. Sparks and kindling. Possibility.

Heart (by O) - Sapphic Slumber Party #14