Crissie in Diaperland: Chapter 25

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*BAM BAM!*

With a line of drool running down the side of her face, Crissie’s eyes fluttered awake. Expecting to be greeted by the sadistic faces of the tea parties, she was woken up by the shock of being in a place she’d never been before. Not just any place either. Bizarrely enough, she was neither surrounded by Diaperland’s thick forest nor any other place she had been since falling into this world. Instead, she was sitting inside a large, extravagant courtroom.

Moving to sit up, Crissie groaned as she discovered that while her location may have changed, the state of her diaper was exactly as she last remembered it. Sunken in the center of a massive, cake and frosting-filled diaper, she tested the tapes to see if they were still too stuck to take off, unsurprised by their inability to budge. Having no means of escaping her weighty diaper on her own, she could do nothing but sit and wait for something to happen, which fortunately enough, wasn’t a long wait.

“All rise! Our honorable judge, the Knave of Farts, is taking the stand!” announced Tweedle Dump, who served as Bailiff for the High Court of Diaperland. Meanwhile, his brother, Tweedle Damp, dawning a security officer's uniform, waddled over to the door that was stationed nearest the Judge’s bench and opened it, allowing for the well-dressed Knave, with his diaper on prominent display, to enter the courtroom.

The Knave walked behind the bench without acknowledging the courtroom and took his seat. However, unlike a normal courtroom, the members of the seating gallery remained standing, well aware that there was someone above the Knave who had yet to arrive in the courtroom. “The Queen of Farts is entering the chamber!” shouted Tweedle Dump, kicking off the same process again.

Rolling her eyes, Crissie had never been one for courtroom TV shows, so having to sit through such a lengthy procedure just to sit down was like torture to her. If she had been her full size and not stuck in an over-filled diaper, she would’ve ripped these pompous windbags a new one. Though, based on her current situation, she decided it was best to bite her tongue, lest she incur more wrath than had already been heaped upon her.

Holding the door open, Tweedle Damp stood in position, expecting to see the Red Queen waltz past him at any moment. However, as the seconds continued to tick by without the Queen making her entrance, he began to grow anxious, risking his life as he peaked down the neighboring corridor to find the Queen nowhere in sight. A chorus of murmurs began to circulate throughout the courtroom.

“AHHHHHHH! WHERE IS MY PACI?!?!?!?”

Suddenly, both of the Tweedles, as well as the Knave, turned pale as ghosts as a very angry female voice burst into the courtroom. Throwing open the double doors at the head of the courtroom, a short, heavy-set woman dressed in a red gown with a part down the center to show off her diaper stomped her way down the center aisle. She passed by Crissie without so much a glance, marching up to the bench and waving for the Knave to lean over the side. As he did so, he lowered his shirt collar just enough for the Queen to grab him. “I NEED MY PACIFIER RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME?!?!?!?”

“Y-Yes, your majesty! Guards! Fetch the Queen her pacifier! Turn the entire palace upside down if you have to!” ordered the Knave frantically, sending out a dozen guards to go and search for the Queen’s missing binky. He breathed a sigh of relief as she released his collar, satisfied with how he jumped into action.

Still in a rotten mood from misplacing her trusted paci, the Queen’s eyes scanned the courtroom, far from pleased. “You started…A COURT PROCEEDING WITHOUT ME?!?!?!?!” she screamed, jumping up and grabbing the Knaves collar again, shaking it viciously.

“Y-You were j-just announced, your grace!” responded the Knave, turning blue in the face as he did everything within his power to keep calm and carry on.

Releasing the Knave’s collar yet again, the Queen relaxed, giggling at the thought of everyone standing at attention waiting for her. “Of course, I was!” she said, her mouth smiling but her eyes doing anything but as she homed in on Little Crissie, “And who might this be? I don’t recognize this servant!”

“That’s…um…Crissie,” said the Knave, scanning through the documents in front of him to find Crissie’s file, “According to this, she’s been accused of entering Diaperland with no documentation, illegal drug activity, using the underground highway without a permit, caucus race gambling, and consumption of sugar laced with the Queen’s own Silly Powder.”

Those seated in the pews gasped at the Knave’s recitation of each of Crissie’s frivolous crimes. All except for Crissie, who was simultaneously furious and humiliated by the series of charges brought against her. Was she guilty, yes, but she didn’t know any of that stuff was against the law!

“And where is her legal representation? You can’t expect me to believe someone as dimwitted as this girl is planning to defend herself with no counsel,” said the Queen, mockingly placing a flat hand against her eyebrows as she pretended to search high and low for Crissie’s lawyer.

Before the Knave could answer, the double doors at the head of the courtroom were thrown open again, this time by an exhausted-looking rabbit carrying a pocket watch. “S-So sorry I’m late, your majesty,” said the White Rabbit, placing the pocket watch down the front of his diaper as he hopped to the table that Crissie had been plopped down on.“

“Y-You! T-Th…Diaper Bunny!” shouted Crissie, pointing a finger at the White Rabbit who had led her down to Diaperland like a cuddly pied-piper.

The White Rabbit’s eyes went wide as he saw he would be stuck defending. “You’re the one who’s been following me all afternoon?!” he said, furrowing his brow as he glared down at his latest client.

“Guess that adds stalking to her list of crimes,” said the Knave, sighing as he made a quick note of yet another Crissie crime. With the way this case was starting off, it was going to be a long day.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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