Hello, again

Hey everyone, I am so sorry to be unexpectedly away for the last few months.

TLDR: I'm back online now and back to posting. The start of the year was rough for me - both professionally and personally. By mid-February I just crumbled under the pressure and stress of it all.

The rest of the story: Physically, I started the year nursing a very slow-healing injury to the tendons and nerves on my dominant wrist. It severely limited my editing, kept me from shooting and pretty much everything else - even "self care" was not enjoyable. Recovery would take three months with daily physical therapy. It was progressing well until the afternoon before Valentine's Day. The setback added another three-to-six months of PT and more stress to my bigger problem.

Since March of last year I have been searching for full-time work in media production management after my last employer was closed. The entire industry is a mess - the opportunities are slimmer than I have ever experienced. Then the final straw came the week after I re-injured my wrist - after a three month interview process as a final candidate for a great job, I wasn't selected for the position. February marked nine months, only three interviews, a finalist in all three but second place each time. I had become the Susan Lucci of job interviews.

I was just as frustrated with the direction of my photography and my strategy for sharing it. Nothing felt good enough or done well. I felt lost in the game.

It's near impossible to feel s*xy or convey sensuality when you don't feel great about yourself. I quickly fell into a dark place and retreated from everyone and everything. To know that I was disappointing you and others just added to the despair. I was completely knocked down, able to function but just enough to get through the day and hold a smile for a conversation here and there. Thankfully I am a fighter. I may have gone under for a moment but I didn't stay down. My husband, my family and closest friends gave me the space to heal, occasionally got me out of the house and by the first week of May I was rebounding.

My mental health and my wrist are better now. I took a few weeks before posting again so I could reorganize and find inspiration. My job search continues and so does my love for the sensual side of a man's life.

I appreciate you and I am sorry to have disappointed anyone over the last few months. I will answer my DMs this week as I catch up. Thank you so much for your support.

Xx TODD