The Patron-only STUFF I DIDN'T SAY in the last video ;)

Hey guys! As I shared in the video, here's the email that went out to my mailing list today (and if you're not on my mailing list, please feel free to sign up on EcstaticSelf.com):

Dear all,

As this year comes to a close, I’ve been reflecting on how much has unfolded — both outwardly and inwardly.

In 2025, we hosted two sold-out retreats, completed a Staff Pick Kickstarter that raised over 200% of its goal, published 48 Gateways to the Ecstatic Self alongside its oracle deck, coached people across the globe, and grown more than a million subscribers through our various platforms. By many measures, it’s been a powerful and successful year.

But beneath those visible milestones, something quieter — and more consequential — has been taking place.

This has been a year of deeper healing and integration for me than I’ve previously known. A kind of sacred home-coming. A reclaiming of parts of myself that had long existed in parallel, but not always fully melded.

As that integration has deepened, so too has my clarity about the heart of this work.

We are not here to transcend our humanity.

We are here to inhabit it more fully.

To be embodied.

To be alive in sensation.

To be connected — not just spiritually, but physically, emotionally, and relationally.

Those of you who have practiced with me for some time know that Ecstatic Self has always honored embodiment, intimacy, and choice — including clothing-optional space when appropriate. That isn’t new. What is changing is my willingness to bring the erotic and sexual dimensions of being human into clearer, more honest relationship with the spiritual path, rather than keeping them carefully adjacent.

In many ways, this is not a new direction so much as a truth that has been gestating for a long time — one I finally feel resourced enough to live publicly and responsibly.

Over the past months, you may have noticed me showing up differently — including more overt sexual expression online, new collaborations, and a more transparent integration of my erotic life with my spiritual one. This isn’t a departure from my values; it’s a continuation of them, lived with less compartmentalization.

As we move into the coming year, this integration will increasingly shape the tone and direction of certain offerings. Some spaces will become more explicitly embodied, more intimate, and, in time, may include deeper engagement with erotic and sexual energy — always held with care, consent, discernment, and deep respect for autonomy and boundaries.

Because of this ongoing discernment, I’ve made the decision to cancel our January workshop and March retreat. I want to allow space for clarity to emerge, rather than trying to fit new work into containers that were designed for an earlier chapter. New offerings will be announced once I have a clearer understanding of how these next expressions want to take form.

In the meantime, I am continuing to offer one-on-one work. These sessions invite a depth of presence and honesty — a space where you are welcome to show up nakedly, both literally and figuratively. A space to meet me chest to chest, breath to breath, heart to heart, soul to soul — held with care, attunement, and respect.

I want to be clear: not every offering will move in this direction, and no one is ever expected to participate in anything that doesn’t feel aligned. This work has always been rooted in sovereignty, choice, and listening to one’s own timing — that remains foundational.

I’m allowing this next chapter to unfold with intention rather than forcing clarity before it’s ready. What I do know is how I intend to walk forward: with integrity, humility, and profound respect for the bodies, histories, and nervous systems of those who enter this work.

My hope for the year ahead is simple, and not so simple at all:

more aliveness, more truth, more wholeness — lived, not abstract.

Thank you for being here, and for meeting this evolution with curiosity and care.

With love and blessing,

KAELAN