A Promise Kept - Chapter 33 - A New Dusk
Added 2025-10-12 13:00:13 +0000 UTCThe aftermath of the murder, and a glimpse into what is to come...
Comments
I sure hope Lily won't be a new potion professor. Like you said, it goes against what she was portrayed in this story for her to take a risk like that.
mnemnoch
2025-10-14 05:27:58 +0000 UTCGood story, it's rare that a story goes the direction of killing Dumbledore so early. Overall really interesting ideas in this story. I have a few things to say and they'll sound like criticism but I don't mean them that way. The part at the end with Sirius thinking about a Potions professor is iffy, because it kind of feels like he's thinking about Lily. It would make absolutely zero sense if she went to live in seclusion for over a decade in another country for safety, only to come back just as Voldemort returns. I REALLY hope it doesn't go that way and I'm just imagining it, because it just won't make sense. There can't even be the silly argument based on 'Hogwart's being the safest place in Britain' because Dumbledore and two other people just died there. The next thing is Fudge, he comes across as different than in canon. In canon Dumbledore announces Voldemort's return and challenges the status quo and ultimately his position I think, so he lashes out. Here his motivations seem a lot different and generally out of character, but I guess you can make the argument than Lucius is pushing him into this. Finally the romance, I was enjoying the stuff with Gabrielle and all of this stuff with Sabine seems kind of forced or something? We haven't seen enough of her to really understand the romantic feelings Harry has for her, is it just because she's attractive? I don't think either of them are in the position to add more unnecessary difficulties to their life with trying to make this into a real relationship, there's a bunch of shit in the way of making it work. If it's just a fling then that's cool but I guess I'm just missing the point of building up Gabrielle's character so much only to have him start having this thing with random OC girl.
gigamans
2025-10-13 07:35:24 +0000 UTCI'm so happy with what you've done with Sirius. His arc throughout this whole story has been done really well, although the target on his back has become infinitely larger. The way Harry monologues sometimes is actually jarring, like bro you are not some seasoned vet. Talking about killing like it's some easy thing, when he hasn't even been in a serious fight yet. I didn't particularly like the characterization of Snape & Fudge. At first it seemed like you were adding some nuance to Snape's thought process, but his reasons ultimately became tropey. The same applies to Fudge. Canon made more sense, a scared coward. Here, you've just made him a gluten for power who lacks morals. Anyway, thanks for the chapter.
Sunny
2025-10-12 23:20:58 +0000 UTC
