To the Ones Who Blame Themselves for Lost Friendships (Listen to your Felka)

Hej hej, beautiful soul. 🌿

I know that feeling—when a friendship fades or falls apart, and you’re left alone, replaying every moment, blaming yourself. You wonder if you could have done more, been better, or said the right thing at the right time. But here's the truth I’ve learned: not every ending is your fault.

I’ve mapped out the ends of a few friendships in my life, and for a long time, I blamed myself. But the more I wrote, the more I realized: each one was different. The dynamics were unique. The people were unique. And while each loss hurt, I also grew. From every friendship that didn’t last, I learned something invaluable. I became a better friend, a better human.

(Side bar: a part of me thinks I should have just been TAUGHT how to be a good friend 😭haven't we created a human USB micro chip for social skills!?! it's' almost 2026 for crying out loud. Socially awkward people ban together ✊haha)

I’m not going to lie and say it doesn’t suck. We all make mistakes. But here’s what’s important: it’s better to make mistakes with the people who will let you be human, to grow and learn. If those people couldn’t hold space for that, then maybe they weren’t meant to stay. And that’s okay.

You know why? :) Because every friendship that ends makes room for the ones that are meant to last. That's not fluff, that's genuine truth right there~! The ones that will accept you in your messy, growing self. The ones who will fight for you, who will let you make mistakes and still choose you.

So, if you’re feeling like you were the cause of it all, I want you to stop for a moment. Look at the facts. Did you truly ruin it all? Or did it take two people? And most importantly: did you learn something?

It’s better to love and lose than to never love at all. So stop shouldering all the blame, my dear. Your inner child needs you to fight for them—not to be perfect, but to be honest. Own the lessons you’ve learned, and let go of the weight of mistakes. Otherwise, you’ll just keep carrying it around, and that’s not what you need.

You’re worthy of friends who will fight for you, just as you would for them. And the right ones are out there, waiting for you to show up.

You’ve got this, my dude. With love,
your felka felka felka!

P.S. currently listening to "A Very Laufey Christmas" and I'm craving a long singing you to sleep >:3 Christmas is here early... can't wait to start brainstorming audio ideas with you. Next post!!