Personal Update – What’s Been Going On Lately

Hi Everyone,

An email from a subscriber recently prompted me to make this post. I wasn’t sure whether or not to share everything that’s been going on but my exchange with him led me to believe I should.

As you know, a few weeks ago, I shared how proud I was that two of my stories had been ranked top 4 on Nifty where many of you discovered me. To my surprise and delight, they stayed there for over two weeks.

I also mentioned that another author has been pursuing me across the internet to try and sabotage my works and my site. Up until recently, Nifty had been a refuge from that harassment but last week he went after me there too.

Over the space of 24 hours, all of my stories received multiple 1 star ratings — even those not on the top 4 — and went from the top rated stories on Nifty to some of the lowest rated on the entire site. The culprit was immediately obvious because of whose stories suddenly occupied almost every slot in the top ratings chart on the site.

This was doubly embarrassing because Nifty had also chosen to feature Bending Eli on the front page of the site (not algorithmic, it’s deliberate) and every time anyone visited, they saw that low rating.

I tried my best not to let it affect me, but it really hurt to be attacked by another member of the LGBTQ+ community so persistently, especially someone I don’t even know. It has always been my way to project strength and keep any pain to myself, but I felt the need to share this time.

The truth is, I started this project because I am not well. I haven’t been for over two years, and I haven’t been able to work full time for that long. The fact people responded so overwhelmingly to my stories was an incredibly positive thing for me and the sustained harassment has made everything feel heavier than it should.

I tried very hard to continue providing you all with content consistently — despite everything — but it was hard to keep up the pace and the quality. If you follow Randy’s story, Ezra definitely got the brunt of what I was feeling in the last chapter.

The amazing volunteers at Nifty did take steps to correct the rating of Bending Eli after a few days but my other stories remain tanked. They’re volunteers and it isn’t their job to deal with petty stuff like this. I haven’t felt comfortable posting anything there since the incident because there’s nothing to stop him from doing it again, even though Nifty is my main draw.

The whole experience has left me stressed and it’s bled into every part of my day. I’ve missed important marks I would have liked to deliver here, and I also need time for myself that I haven’t taken. My update about the new story had been scheduled ahead of time and I haven’t even been able to work on that which I was really excited about.

I am going to try and get my head back on straight and recover physically and mentally from this quickly. I wanted to be transparent though because there is so much more that I wanted to bring to this space, but the actions of one petty individual have just taken the steam out of me for a little while.

Please do not ask me how you can retaliate. A close friend already asked, and I am not willing to sink that low. All I ask is understanding and patience during this tough time.

Your support means everything to me.