XaiJu
blitzdrachin
blitzdrachin

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WIP Dragon Lessons III, Pages 22, 23 and 24

English is not my first language, please correct me if I made any mistake in the dialogues or if you think another dialogue would fit better.

WIP Dragon Lessons III, Pages 22, 23 and 24 WIP Dragon Lessons III, Pages 22, 23 and 24 WIP Dragon Lessons III, Pages 22, 23 and 24

Comments

I feel like I've missed something in these pages that or I can't think right about it 🀣 other then that it's going very well ☺️

Kyrasq

Thank you so much!

Blitzdrachin

"I have to think of something else; my jaw hurts" Changing that "on" to an "of". Add a semicolon to avoid the comma splice. A period helps, too. "I have to think of something else; my jaw hurts" OR "I have to think of something else. My jaw hurts!" -- Here are some more casual variants: "Gotta think of something else; my jaw's killing me!" "Gotta try something new; my jaw hurts"

Everything looks fine imo and great comic btw

Star Corrsin


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