SL: Chapter 732 – Day 5,929 Part 2 – Viewpoints 64

Amy

“So, what exactly is wrong with me?” I asked. I knew something was wrong with how everyone was treating me and then this doctor showed up. Or showed up again. He had checked me over, left, and now he had come back. He let out a long sigh as he looked at me. That wasn’t a good sign.

“Something was done to your head. There is some sort of self-sustaining energy construct that was created inside of it. I have a good guess on what will trigger it,” Doctor Katz said.

“So…um, you are going to try and remove it?” I asked hesitantly.

“Ultimately, I have a couple different ideas. I can’t tell you which one would work, or which one is best. It is all a gamble. The first option is to try and trigger whatever was done to you and counter it. It isn’t wrong to say that my skill is second to none of everyone who still lives. The second option is to try and destabilize things without triggering it. The third option is to do nothing, but the risks are high long term,” he explained.

“So, like cancer?” I asked.

“Or a tumor.”

“You can just do nothing?” I asked.

“Ultimately you are the patient, and it is your life. But I will say that leaving things long term is not a fix. Whatever is in your head won’t go away just because.”

“There is nothing else. No slow and steady option, like chemo?” I asked.

“There is nothing equivalent. I won’t be here for much longer, so ultimately it is your choice,” the doctor explained.

“I…is my son around?” I asked hesitantly.

“Yes. And seeing him will probably trigger whatever is in your head. I don’t need his presence distracting me,” the doctor explained.

“What about Michelle? I heard she was injured?” I asked. I wanted to speak with her to get her opinion.

“She will recover in time, with some brain damage. I already took a look at her. As for when she will regain consciousness that will take time and I will not be sticking around,” the doctor explained.

“That’s good. Well, I trust you, so do what you think is best,” she said.

“Then I am go to start trying to destabilize parts of the energy construct in your head and see what happens. Lay back, and don’t try and fight me. Just close your eyes and focus on your breathing,” he said as I laid back on the examination table. He went around behind me and put both hands on my head.

“This will hurt. But I need you awake,” he said.

“Yes,” I said nervously. I could only hope this would work and I could see my son.

“I am starting,” he said, and I felt a sharp jab of pain go through my head. I winced heavily, but the doctor’s hands were like a vice grip holding me in place.

Doctor Katz

The woman began to scream in pain as I continued to poke at the energy construct. It was breaking apart and her brain was under tremendous pressure from the surge in energy. I focused on trying to create a shunt with my energy and pushing the energy from the construct out that way.

It wasn’t working. The buildup was too much. She was screaming more and more. At least this room was soundproof. She went into a seizure. There was nothing tricky about the energy construct in her head. It was compressed energy that was somehow stabilized. It had been compressed to an insane degree.

Like a balloon and I had stuck a pin into it. It wasn’t a car, but a balloon. Now the energy was all unraveling. There was nothing I could do.

Her head exploded.

I just stood there with chunks of brain matter and fragments of skull covering my body and hands. I closed my eyes and let out a long sigh. Amy was dead, unequivocally. I lowed my hands and looked at the headless corpse. Blood rushed out of her neck over the edge of the table, pouring all over my feet.

Failure. I was nothing but a failure. I hadn’t been able to save anyone. All the years here and there was nothing but misery and suffering. I was too afraid to die. I was too depressed to live. It would have been too easy to give up. But coming back after what the calamity had done, was horrible.

All those people. All those lives. Maybe Michael and Clarissa could brush them off, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. Looking at the latest corpse before me, I just felt a profound sense of despair. I wasn’t a doctor, I was nothing. Nothing but a failure.

I just stood there not knowing what to do. I couldn’t escape. I knew Michael was going to kill me. He might say otherwise, but he was. I didn’t want to die. I moved slowly to the door and my blood hand gripped the handle. Hesitating for a long moment, I finally opened it up and made my way out. My bloody footsteps leaving a trail behind me.

Entering the small room Michael and Clarissa were sitting in they both looked at me and all the blood covering me. “The energy construct was designed to release all its stored energy. The patient died instantly when her head exploded,” I replied. Michael stood up instantly.

“Michael wait!” Clarissa said.

“Don’t,” was all he said back and walked over to me.

“Did you do everything you could?” he asked.

“Yes,” I replied. I really did try. But I was useless.

“I had already said goodbye in my heart,” he said and left the room. Clarissa walked over to me.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“I…” I couldn’t say what I wanted. The words were stuck in my throat. No matter how much I wanted to just end things, there was nothing to say. “I am fine.” I wasn’t fine.

I turned around and began walking away. A guard was stationed at the entrance to this base.

“Excuse me, but-“

“It is fine. Let him pass,” Clarissa said. I didn’t respond and walked out of the tunnel and then outside. I just kept walking. No one was following me. I was still alive despite everything. The calamity killed everyone but me. Michael killed everyone but me. I was still here, breathing, while so many others had died.

“WHY!?” I screamed, but there was response. I collapsed to the ground and couldn’t help but cry. I wept for everyone. For my failures. For my incompetence. The mist swirled around me. There weren’t even any monsters nearby to kill me either.

I didn’t know what to do.

Clarissa

“He is still laying out there, but he stopped crying,” one of my guards told me. I let out a sigh. Doctor Katz had mentally broke. He was always the most empathic of the people at the top. One could even say he was Michael’s conscious to some degree.

Now he was just a broken man. I didn’t dare go bother Michael. He had entered the room with the corpse of his mother. I wasn’t going near that disaster. That was just asking for death. The worst possible outcome. We hadn’t lost just one person, but two.

Doctor Katz was completely shattered emotionally and mentally. While he had been functional before, he had now broken down completely. Trying to comfort him was risky and wouldn’t do much. Anything I might say would only make things worse.

“Should…should we do anything?” my guard asked.

“Just leave him alone. If he wants anything, come get me in  the command room. If he runs off, come get me as well. Otherwise don’t do anything,” I said and the guard nodded. Hopefully I would be able to put the good doctor back togeather emotionally, but I was doubtful.

A grown man didn’t break like that, unless he had completely broken. And he had seen quite a bit. Doctor Katz wasn’t some weak willed person. He had seen and handled deaths before. The fact that he had completely broken meant the break was incredibly deep. This wasn’t something that could be easily fixed or fixed at all.

I didn’t have any knowledge of PTSD. I knew some high level stuff, but I was no medical expert. This wasn’t Purgatory where I had resources to call upon to deal with something like this either. We were at a remote base out in the wilderness.

The fact that Michael hadn’t killed Doctor Katz was a small mercy. But this was a complete mess. The only thing to do was wait and see how the situation resolved itself. I had spoken and talked with Amy. She was a nice woman, who didn’t deserve the death she had gotten. But many people didn’t deserve their deaths either.

I went back inside the base. If Michael rampaged, or came for Doctor Katz, I would be the only one able to talk him down. I went to the command room and took a seat. I wasn’t interested in looking at the map and planning at the moment. The most powerful people all had serious issues and things could explode at any moment. While it was unlikely, there was a huge risk, since there was no way anyone could stop Michael with force.

Time slowly went by as I sat in the dim light and waited for a result one way or the other. I hated waiting like this, but some things couldn’t be rushed. Michael needed to process his grief and Doctor Katz needed to cry himself out. I had no idea how I would handle the doctor long term. I would have to see how he ended up, but I wasn’t optimistic.

Not for the first time, I felt frustration that I was stuck in this situation. Putting everything back togeather when it was all falling apart. I couldn’t scream or complain. While it wasn’t fair to the others, since Michael had lost his mother and Doctor Katz was emotionally screwed up, I didn’t get a break. I might just leave and hide out in the wilderness for a long period of time. Let everyone else deal with all this nonsense.

Unfortunately, there was no one else. Michael didn’t trust anyone else, like he did with me. If he went crazy or broke like Doctor Katz, we were doomed. It would be the second coming of the Divine Empress. I couldn’t take that kind of risk.

Time continued to pass, and no one left their respective positions. I didn’t have anyone watching Michael’s door, but if he left the room I would know. While it was tempting to go to sleep and deal with the drama in the morning, I couldn’t take any kind of risks.

The more time that went by, the calmer I felt, since it was unlikely things would blow up, but also more nervous as well. That was due to the mental state of both men. I was completely writing off Doctor Katz. But Michael couldn’t be written off. He was the nuclear deterrent.

If he had a mental break, it would be bad. I hesitated before getting up. I couldn’t let him stew with a corpse all night. That would not be good. “Once more Clarissa, once more,” I muttered to myself. I went to the medical room and knocked on the door.

“Michael, this is Clarissa. Are you okay?” I asked. There was no response. “Do you want me to go away?” Still no response. Also not good, that was when I realized the room was soundproofed. The knocking wouldn’t easily noticeable either. My hand hesitated on the door handle. Should I open the door slightly and try again?

I had to. I couldn’t let him spiral.