Desolation of the Caged Bird Chapter 33 - Unfairness of Fate

Stupid Ino-chan… Stupid teme… Stupid sensei…

Naruto’s countenance remained gloomy all the way as he walked towards the Uzumaki Clan Compound. He walked idly, slowly, with his hands kept behind his back, and his upper lip bit in a way that was not a pout, but would somehow still be mistaken for one by people whose eyes weren’t working correctly. His arms and body were covered with bruises, but more than the physical pain, his pride hurt.

She didn’t pull her punches even a little bit… and not letting me use summons… half my kit is summoning… if I had my toads… I wouldn’t have fallen for that trick…

Shortly after finding their sensei, he told them to perform something called the ‘Ceremonial Bows’ to acknowledge him as their teacher. Naruto thought he was joking and laughed, but when he saw Sasuke get on his knees and bow three times, as if he was expecting it, he almost swore he was put under a genjutsu. When Ino-chan also reluctantly did the same, there had been a tight feeling in his chest he couldn’t get rid of.

Ino-chan and the bastard bowing to that Hyūga pretty-boy with his eyes closed?

No one told him anything about bowing to a teacher being part of a Jōnin and Genin mentor-mentee relationship. He declined. His sensei merely smiled at him and told Ino-chan to handle it as the ‘Eldest Disciple.’

“Let’s have a spar, Naruto-kun. If I win, you do as sensei says, and you’ll never ask me for a date again. If you win, you don’t get to bow, and I’ll go on as many dates as you want.”

He agreed, both because he didn’t want to bow, and because, well, it was Ino-chan! Going on dates with his crush? How was he supposed to refuse?

Naruto rubbed the side of his arm and mumbled under his breath about ‘fighting dirty.’

Sensei said summons would count as external help, so he didn’t allow it. In exchange, Ino-chan couldn’t use her clan's ninjutsu either. At first, he thought it was too much of a handicap for her, but Ino-chan fought dirty. She kept targeting his family jewels with her kunai, didn’t hesitate to aim for his eyes, his throat, his nose, she fought without a sense of fairness or grace, but a taijutsu style that was almost desperate, crazy, and frantic.

When he finally started getting the upper hand, realizing he was much stronger than her, and faster than her, and finally pinned her to the ground where she couldn’t resist, or struggle, she looked at him with frightful eyes and said, ‘Please don’t hurt me, Naruto.’ 

Her words and terrified expression shocked him so much that he instinctively let her go and retreated as if he’d been burned. Before he knew what happened, she had reversed the situation, slammed him into the ground, pinned her knee against his chest, and pointed a kunai at his throat.

“It’s not fair, dattebayo!” He’d argued, his face burning red and veins bulging at his throat. “You tricked me!”

“Not fair?” she’d frowned. “You’re stronger than me. Faster than me. You have more endurance than me, and more chakra than me. I had to use whatever means I could to win, and you’re the one complaining that it’s not fair? How do you think I feel?”

Her fear had been an act. One so convincing that it completely disarmed him. He’d forgotten that Ino-chan’s father was Yamanaka Inoichi, Konoha’s foremost Psychological Expert, who worked in Konoha’s Torture and Interrogation Division. She had been learning psychology since she was a little girl, and knew a lot of devious mind tricks.

His sensei sided with Ino, saying something or the other about ‘not falling prey to honeytraps’ and ‘tempering the mind against seduction.’ Naruto didn’t care to listen to too much of it. 

He felt betrayed. He felt cheated. He felt wronged. How was it fair that because he didn’t want to hurt her, he lost, and somehow, they made it sound like he was in the wrong for falling for that dirty trick?

Even the cheat-eye bastard kept mocking him, saying that he was stupid for falling for it. “We’re shinobi, idiot,” the bastard said. “There’s no such thing as an honorable shinobi. Better learn that sooner rather than later.”

Instinctively, he’d fired back, “Tou-san is, and he’s the strongest shinobi in the world!”

Somehow, after he had said it, he regretted it. Ino-chan looked at him as if he were the scum she wiped off the bottom of her sandals, and Sasuke, the bastard, actually burst out into laughter. He didn’t even know the bastard was capable of laughing, but hearing him laugh was one of the top three most grating sounds Naruto had heard in his life.

It made him want to bury his head in the sand and the bastard’s head too.

However, Naruto had a code. That code was to honor his word. He never went back on his word. Even if it was a bet, and even if he felt like the enemy cheated, he made his word, he made a promise, so he performed the three bows to acknowledge his new sensei.

“A horse can be dragged to the river ten thousand times, but if it does not know of thirst, it will never lower its head to drink,” his sensei said, speaking cryptically in riddles.

His sensei had said that they would commence specialized training from tomorrow and left. After he did, the damned bastard suddenly started acting all buddy-buddy, saying, ‘Sensei said we should act as a team, so let’s go train together.’ Naruto turned him down because there was no way he was going to train with him. He didn’t expect the bastard to just shrug and ask Ino-chan the same question, and he certainly didn’t think she would actually agree.

He changed his mind immediately because he didn’t want them to be alone together, wanting to join them, but as soon as he did, Ino-chan suddenly decided something came up, and rescheduled.

She was, clearly, actively, blatantly avoiding him.

He asked why, and she didn’t give him an answer. It was the bastard who said, “It’s because you fell for that tactic, idiot. It’s a tactic that only works if you see her as a girl.”

Naruto couldn’t wrap his head around it. She was angry at him because he fell for a dirty tactic that she used against him to win a spar that she had asked for? Where was the logic in that? Where the hell was the sense in that? Why was she upset that he let her go because he was afraid of hurting her?

Standing at the entrance of the Uzumaki Clan Compound, Naruto mumbled a greeting to the toads that stood guard before he bit his finger and drew his blood on the large red gate, forming a perfect spiral that formed the Uzumaki Clan Symbol. There was a temporary flash of chakra as the gates swung open, and the protective barriers and wards granted him access.

Scratching the back of his head, Naruto tried as hard as he could to understand the matter. Contrary to popular belief, yes, it was true that he didn’t inherit his father’s ‘genius’ and instead inherited his mother’s ‘stubbornness’, but that didn’t mean he was a complete idiot. He could think through certain things.

Teme said it’s a tactic that only works if I see her as a girl… but I don’t get it. Isn’t she a girl? How else am I supposed to see her?

His sister, Mito-chan, often mentioned offhandedly that there were things she couldn’t ‘do’ because she was a girl, that he could. Naruto didn’t understand what the hell she was talking about.

What do you mean, there are things you can’t do? You’re a Fūinjutsu genius, already praised and worshipped by everyone… what the hell can’t you do?

Kakashi-ni said that some people believe kunoichi were worse than shinobi, but Naruto didn’t understand how anyone with a set of eyes and a brain could believe that. His entire life, he’d been trying to chase after the shadow of his little sister. In what way was she worse than he? There was not a single category or area he could think of that he was better at than Mito at, at all. Sure, when it came to physical strength, he could lift some things she couldn’t, and maybe last longer in a fight without getting tired, but that was so minor compared to the sheer number of things she was better at that it wasn’t even funny.

She was better at him in history, in Fūinjutsu, in politics, in ninjutsu knowledge, in social etiquette, chess, shōgi, chakra control, mastery of their clan’s heritage and bloodline—

There was also his mother with her shadow clones, who cooked, cleaned, and used to be so scary and nagging all the time, and there was Granny Tsunade could send him flying halfway across Konoha with a finger-flick, and knew poisons and diseases and methods of killing people without leaving a trace, alongside knowledge of how to heal people on the brink of death.

In what ways were kunoichi worse? Who was spreading those stupid rumors, and how did people actually believe them? Every single kunoichi he had ever met was so much better than others at everything that they called them ‘Goddesses!’

Besides, Jiraiya-jiji says you’re supposed to treat girls like girls…

His Jiji said his father had saved his mother’s life from enemy shinobi when they were much younger. He said that his mother never really liked his father before then, always considering him ‘flaky’ and ‘girlish,’ but it was that incident that changed things around. He said that it was in saving her life and swooping her off her feet that his mother fell in love with his father and chose to marry him.

Naruto had always been inspired by that story. He snuck into Kakashi-ni’s room once, and found some of Jiraiya-jiji’s old books he was always reading. Beyond the one book about the boy named ‘Naruto’, which was great, he also read the other ones, the Icha Icha series. Jiraiya-jiji didn’t write anymore, but in those books, the protagonist was always the sort of cool guy who saved the helpless kunoichi in danger, was a gentleman, and treated them with care and respect, with chivalrous honor, and in the end, they always fell in love with him.

He remembered reading in Icha Icha Tactics: “The fastest way to a kunoichi’s heart is to save her! It doesn’t matter whether it’s from danger, enemy shinobi, or even yourself, but if you can save her, you can win her!”

He believed those words, because they were words written by his Jiji.

When he was younger, Granny Tsunade had complained that Jiraiya used to be a famous ‘pervert’ and that he often had lots of ‘encounters’ with women. Jiraiya-jiji himself admitted with embarrassment that entire hordes of women used to chase him with fervor and beat him silly. Whenever Naruto asked why, all the women in his family would glare at the man, and Jiji would cough and change the topic. It made Naruto certain it was because his Jiji was some sort of infamous playboy who used to toy with women’s hearts but changed his ways as he grew older.

The fact that he stopped writing those books made him certain that it was the case.

So his Jiji definitely knew what he was talking about in his books. He must have experience in seducing countless women. There was no doubt.

But… Jiji… I think your books might be behind the times…

How was he supposed to be the kind of cool hero in Jiji’s books who saved girls and swept them off their feet, if all the girls around him didn’t need saving?

How was he supposed to treat them like girls if they got angry at him because he treated them like girls?

There used to be a time he’d fantasize about Ino-chan, about a day to come, where he would rush to her rescue, and have her cling on to his back with teary eyes, and say, “Save me, Naruto-kun!” 

But somehow, that idea of Ino-chan begging for him to save her didn’t mesh with reality any longer. Thinking of her that way… made him feel like he was insulting her, or belittling her somehow.

After the fight today, he understood that he liked the idea of Ino-chan more than he did the actual girl herself. The idea of Ino and the Ino of reality, the one who would aim for his family jewels in a fight, lie to him, trick him like that to win a spar… were two different people.

The one I really used to like was Ino-chan’s friend with pink hair… what was her name…

It took him a moment to remember her. She’d been sweet, but had a fiery temper, and often she was mocked because of her forehead, but Naruto didn’t mind it.

Was it… Sakura…? Sakura…chan. I remember…

She had always smelled of sakura petals. She had been his real, true, first crush. His first love. The only reason Ino became his focus was because Sakura-chan left the Academy, and absence made the mind forget.

She’s still in the village… right? Maybe… I’ll… try looking for her.

Considering now he had to address Ino as ‘Ino-nee-chan’ with deference as though she was his elder sister, and bow to, and listen to, and obey her because his new sensei said so, and now that he had lost that bet, and that spar, and he could never ask her out on a date again, because doing so would mean going back on his word, and Naruto never went back on his word.

He had no choice but to let go of Ino as his crush.

Ino didn’t need saving from anyone, given her skills and smarts, because if there was an enemy she needed to be saved from, despite her abilities, it was an enemy that even he wouldn’t be able to save her from.

Naruto grumbled as he took off his sandals at the entrance and swung open the sliding door. “I’m home.”

Blond hair and blue eyes met him, and for a moment, he wondered if he had left a Shadow Clone at home, before he saw the blond beard as well, and saw that the features of the blond hair and blue eyes were far older than his.

“...Tou-san?”

His father was home?

“Go wash up and join us for dinner, Naruto-kun.”

He gazed to the side and saw his mother, standing as she did, wearing her typical attire with a long apron. That was how Naruto was certain that it was not her, but a Shadow Clone. The Shadow Clone was left behind to do chores and cooking. He blinked again, in surprise, because it was rare for his father to be home, but his mother to not be.

Maybe… dinner won’t be so awkward tonight?

By the time he washed, cleaned up, applied some salve to his bruises, changed into more casual attire, and descended the stairs, he found only Mito-chan and his father present at the dining table.

Mito-chan looked almost like an identical copy of his mother, only younger, much younger, as expected of someone in her teens. She wore a red kimono with spiral designs that carried the Uzumaki Clan sigil, and had her hair kept in a ceremonial, proper bun. There was a seal atop her forehead shaped like a diamond, which was the same type Granny Tsunade had, and Naruto was aware it was supposed to store chakra.

Despite being at home, where she should be free to relax and let loose, his little sister always acted like a ‘proper’ lady. Naruto didn’t find anything remotely ‘proper’ about always acting like one had a stick up their ass, but he wasn’t going to say anything about it. His mother liked it, his father never complained, and everyone always did whatever Mito-chan wanted because she was the true prodigy, the golden daughter, so they didn’t care if she acted all prim and proper; they only patted her on the back and told her how much she was the best.

Naruto mumbled under his breath as he took his seat to the side and saw the meal set in front of him. A full, home-cooked, tonkotsu-style ramen, complete with pork, eggs, and a steaming hot broth that had his mouth watering. 

He grabbed his chopsticks, glancing left and right, before slowly asking. “Uh… where’s… Biwako-chan?”

“On a training exercise with her team and sensei,” Mito replied. “She won’t be back till dawn.”

“And Granny Tsunade…?”

“At the Western Front,” Mito said, blandly. “More and more Sunagakure shinobi have been relying on poison, and her expertise has been needed there.”

“Kakashi-ni…?”

“I do not have the whereabouts of Konoha’s ANBU Commander memorized at all times.”

Naruto glanced at the empty seat beside his father’s.

“What about… ka-chan?”

“Mother is at the Inuzuka Clan compound, giving her consolations to Lady Tsume.”

Naruto frowned. “Kiba’s mom? Why?”

“Her daughter was raped and killed on the Northern Front.”

The ramen on his plate looked less appetizing.

“Mito-chan,” his father sighed. “Not at the dinner table, please.”

Naruto slowly grabbed his chopsticks, but his hands were shaky.

…Right. We’re at war.

Staring at the food before him, he suddenly felt like vomiting.

Kiba… just lost his sister. What… what have I been thinking? Why is my mind filled with girls? Ino-chan this, Sakura-chan that… when we’re at war. People are dying every day. Anyone can die… any day. And… and my head is filled with…

He couldn't blame Ino for being angry at him.

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Naruto clenched his teeth. He couldn’t sense Negative Emotions like Mito-chan or his mother, or perceive intents like Jiraiya-jiji with his Sage Mode. If he could, would it make him smarter? Would it make him stop making such stupid decisions and actions? It was bad enough that people thought he wasn’t related to his father because he wasn’t a genius, but to keep missing the larger, bigger picture until someone smacked it over his head was a problem.

Why do I always miss things?

Why do I always miss—

Wait.

He glanced at his little sister’s face and glanced towards his father. Naruto frowned for a moment, and he felt something was… off. Mito-chan was always the ‘perfect’ daughter. She was always polite, proper, but today, today…

She broke decorum.

Mito-chan knew the value of words. She knew it far more than he did. There were a hundred other ways to have passed across the information of what happened to Kiba’s sister, a hundred ways, but she used the most visceral, blunt method imaginable to give him that information. A method that intentionally upset their father.

“Um… am I missing something, dattebayo?”

Mito turned to him, raising a brow. “When are you not?”

“Oi!”

“But… yes. I am glad you noticed,” Mito ran her hand through her hair, then gestured with her hand. “I am displeased, as is Mother, and the vast majority of cooler heads in Konoha’s Administration, because Father has authorized the use of a Scorched Earth Stratagem."

“Scorched… Earth?”

“He means to leave behind nothing for the advancing armies. Nothing. Konoha will burn lands, farms, villages, we will destroy livelihoods, starve thousands, and condemn those who have done us no wrong to death or worse. The world has branded us as villains, and using such tactics will only prove they were right to do so.”

What? Naruto snapped his gaze to his father. “That… can’t be right, right? Tou-san…?”

His father didn’t answer. The man gently, lightly, ate from his plate without a word. Naruto’s heart was beating fast. Too fast. Faster than it had ever beaten in his life. 

I don’t… understand…

“I have said it already that it is unnecessary,” Mito continued. “If you give me the resources I need, then this war can be over. We can simply leave.”

Naruto turned to his sister. His heart was still beating. Leave? What was she talking about? Why didn’t anyone explain these things to him?

“What’s that supposed to mean? Leave?”

“I have combed through Lady Mito’s diary. She often agonized over the destruction of the Uzumaki Clan and Uzushiogakure, and spent years worrying and fretting that there would be a repeat occurrence. In so doing, she formulated a technique, a method to guarantee that Konoha, if it ever faced such a peril, would not be wiped out once again.”

Mito grabbed a rough piece of parchment with a ‘shiki-fuin’, a series of complex seals, drawn atop. 

“This is a key, a shiki-fuin for a yet unnamed Grand Fūinjutsu Formation. It uses the Flying Thunder God Technique as the basis to transport the entirety of a village, rocks, stones, pebbles, trees, and all, to a different location.”

Mito turned to him, her eyes sharp. 

“We can simply vanish. Leave. The entirety of Konoha. Abandon this pointless war.”

His mind could not wrap around it. The mere shiki-fuin was beyond his understanding, and attempting to understand it was giving him a headache. What she was saying was beyond his understanding. Teleporting the entire village? 

Using fūinjutsu to teleport an entire village?

“Where…” Naruto didn’t trust his voice. “Where would we go?”

“A Sage Region.”

Mito-chan turned her attention to him.

“The toads come from Mt. Myōboku. The snakes from Ryūchi Cave. The slugs from Shikkotsu Forest. We have individuals in Konoha with summoning contracts that grant access to those three Sage Regions, which are well hidden. Finding the locations of these regions is all but impossible without a summoning contract, or without a means to summon.”

She snapped her gaze back to their father.

“Gamabunta tells me there is ample room to the far east of Mt. Myōboku, which is a region entirely unexplored, fertile, and can easily be inhabited. We, all of Konoha, can simply leave and transplant the entire village there. There, we can exist in harmony and live peacefully in nature.”

His father slowly replied, “We would be isolated from the rest of the world.” 

“We will have to be self-sufficient,” Mito countered. “I am aware it will be difficult for the first few years, we must rely on growing and farming on our own. After about a decade, once the war outside settles, or after the world burns itself to ruin and soot, as it is likely to do, one or two select individuals will be allowed to leave on occasion to trade, acting as our envoys to the outside world.”

His father gently rested his chopsticks into the emptied bowl. Wiping his lips, he said softly, “The chakra it would take to perform a space-time fūinjutsu on that scale is beyond anything any living person possesses.”

“Any living person. Yes, correct. It is a different matter for a Tailed Beast… or a vessel of one.”

Wait… what? 

Naruto's heart skipped a beat. 

“M-Mito-chan… You’re not saying we should—”

His father sighed. “She would use your mother as a sacrifice.”

Naruto’s stomach dropped.

Sacrifice… ka-chan?

“How could you even—”

“It would pain me, yes, it would hurt me, yes, but if you both would choose her over the entire village—” Mito reigned in her voice that had been rising. She took a breath as she continued, “The other nations use their Jinchūriki as tools of war, sending them to the battlefield. I am merely suggesting Mother makes the ultimate sacrifice so we may avoid war, avoid destruction.”

“Avoid consequence.”

His father shook his head.

“I will not accept any plan that involves sacrificing your mother.”

“Fine then,” Mito bit out. “Let us capture enemy Jinchūriki instead. The chakra of the Eight Tails and Seven Tails combined might be just enough to teleport all of Konoha, every denizen, and building. We can abandon the cats, the dogs, the birds, and the fish if needed.” 

“Capturing a Jinchūriki alive is a far harder task than killing one,” his father refused. “To do so would require S-Rank, elite shinobi. Shinobi of such caliber are strategic assets I can neither spare nor risk losing on a fool’s errand.”

“Fool’s Errand?” Mito’s voice was dangerously low. “I am giving a solution to halt our destruction. The alternatives we have are either burn or be burned. I do not want Konoha to become a repeat of Uzushiogakure. Nor do I wish to see us raze the entire world to the ground and stand atop its ashes. Father, the fact that you refuse to even consider it as an option baffles me.”

“You forget the lives lost,” His father pointed out. “You expect people like Tsume to simply let go of the hatred in her heart for what was done to her daughter? That those like her will want to flee without seeking justice?”

“Justice?” Mito scoffed. “You mean vengeance.”

“To those consumed by grief, there is little distinction.” 

Hearing those words come from his Father’s lips made him feel as if the world around him was collapsing. Even Mito-chan, his know-it-all sister, was taken aback.

His father slowly steepled his hands together. “The people of Konohagakure no Sato will not accept retreat, nor will they agree to set aside the grievances and blood debts accrued with this war. They will refuse to flee because they do not wish for surrender to be their legacy and because they have their pride.”

“To hell with pride!”

Mito slammed her hands on the table and rose to her feet. Her chair clattered on the floor behind her.

“Look upon the ashes of Uzushiogakure and ask them what they care for pride! To choose it over life is to repeat history! It is folly of the highest order! I am giving us an out for us to survive. For us to find peace!”

“Peace is not something found in the avoidance of war, Mito-chan,” his father firmly denied. “Hiding from the world is not healing the world. We do not, we cannot end a Cycle of Hatred by fleeing from it. It will follow us. We will take war with us, take hatred with us, and we will either seek an enemy to turn it against, or we will turn it against ourselves.”

“So what would you have us do, Father?” Mito asked. “How would you create peace? What is your grand plan?”

His father didn’t answer. He didn’t say a word. He merely sat in silence.

“I’m excusing myself from dinner.”

The sound of the door slamming shut made Naruto wince. He was left sitting in silence, alone with his father, a burning in his throat, and a pounding in his chest.

“...Tou-san, I—”

“Pay attention to what your sensei teaches you, Naruto. Neji… has a rare genius about him. You’ll learn a lot from him.”

“I... yes.”

“Do you still have those notes I gave you?”

“I do.”

“Keep them close to you. They’re more valuable than you know.”

I don’t… understand them…

“Naruto.”

His father got up.

“No matter what, protect your sisters and your mother.”

“Wait, Tou—”

Before he could get a word in, his father was gone in a flash of yellow.

Naruto sat alone, in a large, empty house, within a large, empty clan, in silence. Slowly, he put his chopsticks into his meal and slurped the noodles into his mouth.

“...It’s cold.”

His ramen was cold.