Submission is Bliss...and so is Domination - Part 1

I wasn't sexy in my twenties. I wasn't confident enough.

In my thirties, though, that all changed. Now, as I sit just a few years from my fortieth birthday, I'm as confident as I've ever been. I'm as happy as I've ever been, too, and those two things are absolutely related.

Some women naturally get more confident as they get older, in large part because they stop spending so much time worrying about what other people think and start feeling like they don't give a fuck what other people think.

I'm sure that was part of it for me, but only a small part. You know what really made the difference for me?

My husband Neil asked me to cuckold him (I'm Jess, by the way, and it's very nice to meet you).

Yeah. That was it.

How could that lift my confidence? Good question.

The short answer is this: It's easy to feel confident when lots of really, really attractive men want to fuck you. It makes you feel a hell of a lot more attractive yourself, and that breeds confidence. Then, because of that increase in confidence you start doing stuff that makes you even more attractive, like working out and putting in more effort on your hair, makeup, clothes, etc. Soon enough you're in a virtuous cycle where everything you do ends up building your confidence even more.

Now maybe you're saying that confidence isn't all about who wants to fuck you, and maybe you're right, but I'm telling you that my confidence went through the roof when I discovered that guys I would have thought of as unattainable were interested in me, and not just interested in a one night stand, by the way. I'm talking about guys being interested in a bit of courting, in taking me on dates, in trying hard to impress me, in wanting to fuck me countless times over a span of months. That's real effort. That's commitment of a sort. That's not just a quickie. That's the sort of thing that makes a woman feel beautiful and confident.

Why do I mention all of this? I'm glad you asked.

There's something else in my life that requires confidence. It's not something I could have done in my twenties, in part because I lacked the confidence to believe I would have been good at this thing, but also because I really don't think the younger version of myself would have been willing to try it.

I'm talking, of course, about being dominant with my husband.

The younger version of me was like most women in that I would have thought it weird or kind of gross that my husband wanted to be dominated. I probably - and I feel awful about this - but I probably would have thought of him as less of a man for wanting that.

I know. That sucks. It really does. He's not less of a man. He's just a man that finds it hugely arousing to feel submissive. He likes feeling other things, too - like the kind of humiliation that is often inherent in our cuckolding play - but he finds great reward in that sense of submission.

Now about the confidence. You see, I honestly would have struggled to do something as simple as demand a foot massage from my husband when I was less confident. It's hard to explain - mostly because I don't really understand it - but I would have felt weird and a little bit guilty about sitting on the couch, putting my feet in his lap, and wiggling my toes as a way of demanding a rub. I would have asked for one, I would have acted like he was doing me a big favor by giving me a rub, but I wouldn't have done it in the dominant way he enjoys.

What's amazing is that when I act with that kind of confidence and self-assuredness (kind of the same thing, but they feel different), my husband is so turned on when I do something as simple as demand a foot rub or a full body massage. To him, it's genuinely hot and a million times hotter than if I'd asked for a foot massage. It's such a small thing, but it makes such a huge difference. I'm pretty sure that a lot of genuine dom/sub play comes down to those sorts of things, because in reality that's just me having an understanding of what makes him tick and finding pleasure in acting in a manner that arouses him.

Plus, what kind of insane person turns down the opportunity to get foot rubs without any sense of guilt? What kind of woman would refuse to change her behavior just a little bit to have a husband that finds pleasure in doing more than his fair share of chores around the house? I get that the reality is that most women aren't going to change at all to meet the submissive desires of their husbands, but those women are crazy.

I will say that I'm not always in the mood to be dominant. It's become more second nature as the years have gone by, but it still takes a little bit of effort and sometimes I'm exhausted or just not in the mood.

Most of the time, though, I'm in the mood because it's almost always beneficial to me. To be clear, it's beneficial to Neil, too, it's just that to an outsider it might look like he's doing a lot of work and I'm doing a lot of relaxing and enjoying myself. That's the nature of a dom/sub relationship, though, at least from the outside looking in.

There are levels of dominant play. Sometimes it's as simple as putting my feet in his lap and demanding a massage.

Sometimes it goes a little beyond that. Sometimes it's enjoying that massage and then telling Neil that I want to see him suck on my toes.

Sometimes it's offering up a bit of dirty talk while he sucks on my toes. "You're very good at that, baby. I guess you've had some practice at sucking, though." Yes, Neil has sucked cock before. I've been cuckolding him for nearly a decade now. We've tried just about everything.

Sometimes - and usually if it's I get turned on enough - the foot rub and toe sucking will lead to Neil's lips making their way up my legs. If he's lucky I'll let him eat my pussy. If he's not, I'll make him watch as I masturbate. I might make him suck on my fingers to get them nice and wet for my pussy. I might let him suck them clean after they've been inside me so he can taste me, but I don't always let him lick my pussy.

Neil likes denial. Tease and denial in particular, but he likes denial. He likes that sometimes I'll give him what he wants and sometimes I won't. I've really come to enjoy those situations where I have him completely under my spell, where he's hanging on my every word and willing to do damn near anything I want.

It's really kind of incredible to be with a man who finds it rewarding to be able to taste my pussy. Sometimes that's all he wants. Just a taste. I put my fingers in his mouth after they've been in my pussy and it's like I've given him the greatest reward imaginable. What an incredible thing.

There are little treats that Neil enjoys. I gave him one just this morning, actually.

I was doing my makeup. He came into the bathroom to brush his teeth before work. I saw him stare at my ass, which I knew looked good in a pair of panties. They were simple, but the cut makes my ass look really good,

"Wait," I said as he reached for his toothbrush.

He looked at me in the mirror and smiled.

"What time is it?"

"8:35."

"You'll have to brush your teeth quick or you'll be late for work."

He nodded.

"I'd like you to do something before you brush your teeth."

"Anything."

I like it when he says that and in this case he could tell that I was going to ask for something naughty, so of course he was willing to agree.

"I'd like you to worship my ass."

Neil dropped to his knees behind me without hesitation. He lowered my panties, spread my cheeks, and went to work worshiping my asshole.

Now, I understand if some women don't want their ass licked. I like it, though only after I've been in the shower or the pool or a hot tub. If it feels nice and clean back there I'll sometimes order him to eat my ass.

Neil loves being ordered to eat my ass. I don't know if it's because there's something inherently gross about licking the hole a woman's shit comes out of or if it's just kind of naughty in general, but it makes him feel submissive when I tell him to eat my ass, and thus doing so is actually a treat for him, just like sucking on my toes is a treat for him, just like sucking on a man's cock when I order it is a treat for him.

This morning I was in an especially good mood and I got awfully horny when Neil went to town on my ass. He was actually going to be late for work - not a huge deal for him - which made it sexier to me. He was willing to get in just a little bit of trouble for the pleasure of eating my ass. How fucking hot.

Anyway, I got horny enough that I started masturbating as he licked my asshole. In that moment, things shifted for Neil, at least I'm presuming they did because he loves eating my pussy way more than eating my ass.

So there he is licking my asshole and wishing he could lick my pussy. I didn't let him. I didn't even think about it. He was, in that moment, acting as my ass licker and that was all he would be permitted to do because the rimjob was part of what had me all hot and bothered.

There was one more thing that made it exciting for me. I thought of another man. A man I'd been with a few years prior. We'd amicably gone our separate ways, but he'd fucked me in our bathroom. He'd fucked me a couple of times in the bathroom, actually, including once where he'd taken from behind on a Sunday morning.

So, I thought of him. He popped into my head and I let my mind run with it. I did so happily. I could feel him inside me. I could feel his strong hands on my breasts. I could feel him kissing my upper back.

I came while thinking about another man while my husband ate my ass. That's the kind of thing you get to do when you're in my position as a dominant wife, when you're brimming with such confidence that you'll make your husband late for work by having him eat your ass and then you'll make him a little later by fantasizing about one of your former bulls as you masturbate while your husband tongues your asshole.

What a great morning.

After I had my orgasm, Neil brushed his teeth.

"I thought about Alec," I said, prompting a broad smile from my husband. "I thought about that time that he fucked me from behind in here." I leaned in and kissed Neil on the cheek as I played with his dick through his pants. "I thought about one of my former bulls fucking me in our bedroom while you ate my ass, cucky. How fucking hot is that?"

His dick was hard as a rock, which was all the proof I needed that he was turned on. He's very easy to turn on, though. Much more so than before he was a cuckold, which is also part of what gives me such confidence. Most women my age that have been married as long as I have don't exactly capture the erotic imagination of their husbands. I do, though, and I can get him hard with almost no effort. That feels really fucking good.

Neil spit out the toothpaste, dropped his toothbrush in the holder, and smiled. "I love you, Jess. You're a goddess."

He likes calling me a goddess. I like being his goddess.

"Well, this goddess has a date tonight," I said.

"Really?"

I nodded. "A new guy. One of the ones you screened. I'm meeting him after work for a drink. If it goes well it will become dinner. I'll text to let you know if that happens, though."

"Well, obviously I hope it becomes dinner," he said.

I kissed him full on. He tasted of toothpaste, which I quite liked.

"I hope it goes well, too. It's been a while since I had a bull and I'd really like to get well and truly fucked again. It's been too long."

He groaned. You see, Neil is a wonderful man in so many ways, but the sex with him and the sex with a bull is genuinely different. It's not that sex with Neil is bad, but it's also not great. Not mind blowing. Not like when I find a good bull. That's something else entirely. That's something that Neil can't give me. That's why cuckolding him works so well. I get what he can't give me and he gets what he craves. We both win in big ways.

"You deserve to be well and truly fucked as often as you desire," he said.

"Because I'm a goddess?"

He nodded. "Because you're my goddess."

I was tempted to push him to his knees and fuck his mouth a little bit. That's always fun. He couldn't afford to be that late to work, though, so I let him go.

I have high hopes for the date. I'll update you on how that goes. I really do need a new bull. It's been too long. I need to get fucked. Well and truly fucked.