Momentum...
Added 2018-08-17 18:19:33 +0000 UTCBeen a while since my last break down.
I've been doing this Morrigan piece for 11 days now and it's not close to finish. Like, I swear I have not been lazy. I work on this piece at least 8 hours a day, but every time I come back to it each day, I fix things here and there and I'm not impressed on how I'm doing. I think I'm seriously suffering from perfectionist behavior and I really hate it.
This is not the first time I'm venting about this on Patreon either. In fact, this is the third time I believe, and it's eating me inside because I'm aware this is a constant problem I have.
It's been three months that I recovered my speed and worked really well. I lessened the delaying gap for 8 days within the last three months, and you know what sucks? All of that is gone now because this is already 12 days delayed on this December 2017 batch alone. All the works done closing the gap is nothing now.
It's like I really lost the momentum on keeping myself on creative and working flow in good speed. There was a big strike to my schedule during the beginning of July (my brother's wedding I mentioned) which rendered me unable to work properly for almost 10 days, and after that I felt like I was back to having the worst moment on getting myself to work fast again, which is what I thrived hard to get away with and I succeeded three months ago...
I know this is not professional venting. All those artists being able to work fast on any condition and momentum are impressive. I wish I can be like them. This is not even an art block. It's just... I don't even know myself why am I working on this one for 11 days now. I have no clue what slowed me down. Why did I take 3 whole days just to paint skin? It's nonsense.
I'm sorry for delaying the schedule even more this month and the negativity guys. Thank you so much for keep supporting me. You all changed my life so much and I want to deliver. I'll keep trying. I know I will recover the lost momentum eventually. I just feel like I need to explain what's going on since I'm taking abnormally long for this batch.
Ya'll have great day.
Comments
In my opinion, you don't have much time to fullfill your perfectionism. You should have to control your perfectionism and finish the work first. If you are not satisfied with some part of your piece of art, let it go for now. Just like you have a time checkpont that if you finish a certain part, you must not go back to change it after some time.
DivinerSkye
2018-08-21 08:59:06 +0000 UTC3 days for skin tone? I don't think its that weird since there sure is a lot of skin showing in this piece. XD
Ryot Control
2018-08-18 09:59:27 +0000 UTCI have considered an assistant like I talked about, even a manager but I strongly feel like that would stop making me and possibly a lot of fans consider me as an individual artist but a team/company. I don't want that to be a thing. I still want Patreon campaign to be you guys supporting me for what I do. Once I start having serious assistants and manager and business planning, I'll turn into an art merchant rather than an artist. It's just an ego that I and most Patreon artists have, not very healthy but yeah.
Fuya
2018-08-18 07:00:50 +0000 UTCHi Fuya, While I understand your frustration of not making much progress and also falling behind schedule again, I also think that perfectionism isn’t something bad (in a reasonable amount) and that attention to detail is something I love about the majority of your drawings. I’ve also made my peace with the delay and am happy as long as I/we are being blessed with your beautiful drawings. But as you’ve said this is about the third time you’ve been frustrated with yourself and your habits (at least openly on Patreon) and your attempts to change this has been as far as I could see not very long-lasting (I don’t mean this in a mean way :O). If your current method of trying to speed things up isn’t working out perhaps another approach might be better? As an outsider with no real knowledge of your working day it’s a bit difficult to come up with an appropriate solution but I’ve already mentioned it in the past that you might need some form of assistant. I’m aware that you tried some drawing assistant in the past but perhaps you simply need someone to keep you on track? Or try to be sterner with yourself and pre-plan your drawings and keep to that plan (if possible) for as much as possible?
Setsunai Seken
2018-08-18 03:23:42 +0000 UTCThánk Ýöú
Frank Leo
2018-08-17 22:18:39 +0000 UTCKeep it up dude, no worries. Love your stuff and thanks for keeping us in the loop!
2018-08-17 21:46:59 +0000 UTCThanks man, but well I can't call it a burnout. If it is a burnout I wouldn't want to draw but this is not that. I have no problem drawing. I just can't do it any faster. It's just a big frustration moment.
Fuya
2018-08-17 20:23:46 +0000 UTCThere is always an excuse. Just saying. You’re never going to catch up.
A
2018-08-17 19:25:20 +0000 UTCGet the rest you need, your health is always first!.
Red Lion
2018-08-17 19:14:56 +0000 UTC
