II-132 Submarine (II)

“Leonid, Captain Leonid, wake up.”

“What is this? What's happened?”

“Well, technically what happened is, on your world, you're dead.”

“What?”

“Yeah, you're dead. However, due to some kind of quirk in the Fathoms and something about you, you slipped through a gap in existence. You're now in the Fathoms.”

“What?”

“Are you going to keep saying what?”

“What?”

“Oh good, it's going to be one of those conversations. Well, time to get the other weird stuff out of the way. Number one, you're inside my ass.”

“What?”

“Yes, my ass has accommodated your entire submarine. It feels very, very nice. Very clenchable. Also, extremely painful due to the Source. Har har har. But anyway, that's not the most important thing. The most important thing is, I'm going to extract some of your nuclear arsenal, I'm going to probably strip-mine your submarine, and have my people take a look at it. And after that, I think I'm going to invite you guys out to tea. Would you like tea? How sweet do you like your tea?”

“What?”

“Oh dear, this is going on longer than I expected. All right, come on, keep up, Leonid. Number one, you're dead. Number two, I have your submarine. Number three, you're in my ass. Number four, people coming to get you, so don't fight back. I understand that your whole trespasser nation state thing is kind of a messy deal. I had some of my people take a look at the sides of your ship, and they were pretty surprised. Apparently, most of the people currently inhabiting my ass are from a thing called NATO, and you are part of a Soviet Unionist? Nah, I don't know. Doesn't matter to me. Anyway, I'm getting your tea ready right now. So, if you're not going to get yourselves killed fighting my people, I suggest that you prepare yourself, get your crew ready, get your dress blues on, and come outside and have some tea.”

“I… don't understand.”

“Ah, well, you're going to be saying that a lot too. Listen, Leonid, I'm going to be really, really serious, okay? If every exchange of dialogue between us is, ‘oh, what's happening? Or, oh, I don't get it. Or, why, why is this happening?’ I'm going to get very annoyed. Please don't make me very annoyed. People who annoy me that much die inside the labyrinth within my ass.”

“God… god please…”

“Leonid, Leonid, are you praying? Well, pray harder, it's not doing anything yet. I want to see your god. I want to see if he fits in my ass.

-Greatest and Captain Leonid of the Borodinsky

II-132

Submarine (II)

Wei stared in utter disbelief as he finally got to the outer courtyard of the Gray House. There, Bishop, Moonscar and a whole army of Trespassers looked on as Greatest stretched his rear in nightmarish and impossible ways to draw out a hidden mass lurking within. Greatest noticed him then, and he waved at Wei, his bronze skin glistening in the light, a broad smile adorning his face. He didn't seem stressed or in pain at all, even as a tip of metal many times his own body started peering out from the clefts of his cheeks.

“Oh hey Wei!” Greatest called as he waved. He was bent over, and his stomach was distending in horrific ways. “I was gonna go see you later, but since you're here now I think we should all just get this stuff over with.”

And a deafening groan followed as more of the hidden shape unveiled itself. At first, Wei thought it resembled a metallic tube, but with each passing second it revealed more mechanisms and components that adorned its sides. 

There came blinking lights that released emanations of Essence into the world, then lenses from strange pipes that glinted in the light. More than that there were ports along the massive structure and Wei felt his expression contort into one of disgust as even more was revealed. 

The Prince of Pride seemed to be giving anal birth to an entire tower and everyone was watching with rapt attention.

Wei immediately felt his Ambition take a hit of sanity damage. 

Your Aspect of (Ambition) has resisted mental trauma from this horrifically disgusting sight.

“Thank you, system,” Wei muttered to himself.

“Yes,” the Shell said, standing right beside Wei, staring in mutual horror. “Thank you, system. Wei.”

“Yes, Shell.”

“I want to go home.”

“I as well, Shell. Me too.”

And then with a final resounding thud and a loud, sated sigh, the last bit of the massive structure bounced upon the ground. Pieces of stone flew into the air, but the courtyard immediately began repairing itself. Wei took in the sight of the entire structure, and something told him it wasn't actually a building. For one, buildings didn't have so much machinery within its shell. His Omniscience let him have a peek into the structure's inner mechanisms. There were so many parts and interconnected wires, trickling energy and circulating veins of Essence that Wei intuitively guessed it was some kind of vehicle.

“Maybe another weapon, like the one Dr. Kalrus made,” Wei muttered to himself.

“A weapon, yes,” his Shell said, and the Shell’s gaze settled upon the ports at the very front of the entire structure. “They called it a submarine.”

From the name, Wei guessed it had something to do with water, but there was no water nearby. So why was Greatest depositing it here? And why did he store things in such disturbing ways? Why couldn't he use a normal inventory like everyone else?

“Maybe because he has a Skill that feeds off of others' disgust. He did attack our Ambition, after all, and failing to resist it would have wounded our sanity.”

Wei's mouth opened a little. The Shell made a lot of sense. His subconsciousness guessed the reason behind Greatest's skill with ease. “Yes,” Wei nodded, certain now. “Yes, it's all part of his Class. He could potentially be doing it just as a joke, but he focuses on it so much that… Heavens, he wasn’t lying about this being his Concept.”

And indeed, as Wei focused on Greatest, he felt a swelling of Essence percolating from the Prince of Pride's body.

“Ladies, gentlemen, and outsider bastards all,” Greatest said, walking toward Moonscar. A trail of pale stones hovered behind her, shivering as if a veil of dust before a typhoon's approach. The turbulence experienced by each of the stones only grew more severe as Greatest drew closer. “And you, Sarah Moonscar, I give you a submarine. A submarine in exchange for promises and your support.”

“What kind of support?” Moonscar asked. She narrowed her eyes at the submarine while Bishop channeled his psionic powers, scanning the entire thing. “What do you want? And why now?”

“Because the whole Hell's Vanguard thing.” Briefly, Greatest looked at Wei and winked. “I understand you have a stake here and that you want to get rid of the Inheritors too. Beat them back to your old world of Earth. This way you can be happy and so can I. But the other princes, the other kings and queens, they're not going to like this so much.” Greatest licked his lips. “I don't much care for that, though. I don't really care what they like or what they don't. I don't care how they react to this. It's too good of an opportunity, and I know you people have been looking for something that could traverse the source surrounding the Fathoms but also might be able to work back on your world. Something that connects the best parts of Essence with your natural earthbound technology and materials.”

Moonscar's expression tightened. Wei could feel her body tense, and it was the first overt revelation of just how excited she was. Wei blinked. He didn't expect this from her.

Slowly, Wei shuffled towards Bishop. “Bishop.”

“Yeah,” he said, sounding stunned.

“How powerful is a submarine?”

“On its own, just travels the depths of oceans and shit. Fully armed? Depends on what it’s meant for, but this is pretty good. This thing looks old, though. Soviet by design. Damn, it's probably older than I am, if we're counting in Earth years.” After a few seconds more of observation, he finally noticed Wei's confusion. He shook his head. “Look, we've been trying to find something that could help us cross over not only the void in the Fathoms, but also operate within Earth. Operate and retain functional benefits of Essence. And we think Source is the thing that might help.”

Wei frowned as he tried to recall something about Earth and Essence. His memory came alight. “Wait, Essence, doesn't that simply start dissolving on Earth? Isn't that why only Marquises and Knights can go there before the Fathoms floods over? Because the stronger Classes and spiritual entities cannot sustain themselves.”

“Yeah,” Bishop said. “And that's because Essence isn't real. It evaporates in the real world. It evaporates because it's just something from a story. But if it's bound to something like a submarine somehow, if you can root it in the metal, it might dissolve slower. Shit, it might be fully retained somewhat. Won't be as powerful. But it will still work. So we think.”

“So I think too,” Greatest said, turning away from Moonscar to approach Wei and Bishop. “Do you know something, Bishop? Fitting that entire submarine up my ass taught me something.”

“Please don't say fitting a submarine up your ass,” Bishop muttered.

“Pain.” Greatest ignored him and kept going. “It's because I felt pain that I knew this thing would work. Pain. You want to know how long it's been since something physical stretched me out.”

“I hate talking to you,” Bishop whimpered. “I hate everything about you.” Bishop took a step forward and pushed a single finger against the Prince of Pride's chest. “And I hate the fact that you have this thing. How the hell did you get a whole goddamn submarine?”

“I found it,” Greatest said with a wide grin. He pointed up into the sky. “I found it drifting in the place between the places, in the void beyond, where the Source paints the Fathoms.” And now he was looking at Wei again. “Source, the thing that dissolves us Fictionals and keeps us constrained to our own little worlds. But meanwhile, you trespassers, and some of you half-breeds, to a lesser extent, acclimate to it just fine, without any discomfort whatsoever. Not inconvenient for me. But even so, I have my ways, and I have my spies, and I have Trespassers for hire. Trespassers not directly associated with you people. And so, I managed to bag myself something special while no one was looking. While everyone was too busy worrying about the harbinger being trapped in a singularity.”

Moonscar's face went pale, her eyes widened. “That's when you manage to find a submarine just floating in the void. Just floating in the void?”

Greatest started tutting at the leader of the Trespassers Lodge. “There's no such thing as a happy convenience in the Fathoms, you degenerate refugee fuck. You've been here long enough to know that. This submarine—it arriving here—was toward a specific purpose. It arrived and was captured by me. Approximately at the same time, this one,” he pointed at Wei again, “arrived with your assistance and entered the claimed hells. Meanwhile, the inheritors were exiled from this place, thrown out for their brazen attempt to seize a system. A system that only the harbinger knew about. The system that is going to be very, very publicly revealed soon.”

“What do you mean publicly revealed soon?” Bishop said. He glared at greatest. “Don't tell me you let this thing slip out of the bag, motherfucker.”

“I didn't let anything slip. However, this secret was fated to leak out the moment I visited our Young Master Wei. More importantly, it was something he was going to use against the prince and princesses once we have this little conference, isn't it?”

“Yes,” Wei said without any hesitation.

“But it was supposed to be on your terms,” Greatest interrupted. “Wei, a word of advice, my young.” He trailed off. “Well, I don't think we're friends exactly, but my mutual accomplice in Trespasser-removal. You have a certain amount of options, a certain amount of power. But so does everyone else. There is no on your terms. There is a clash of terms and what follows. Right now I'm clashing terms,” he pointed to the submarine. “This can traverse the source. This can sail underwater. This can fly through the sky. It is effectively a perfect merger. Or so I hope it is.”

Greatest looked to Sarah Moonscar. “You can test it out, you specifically, because though I held it between my ass, its exterior was meant to withstand source. It is already partially transformed. It, just like any of you, is a Trespasser: a trespassing object. And so it is an functional anomaly. I clenched it between myself, and it wounded me so. It wounded me all every passing second that I held it there. But I did. I did it because it would come in useful.” He looked at Bishop, “and you are welcome for it. You are very, very welcome.”

Bishop shuddered, and he looked away from greatest. “Man, you are disgusting.”

“I'm also your great savior. I am the greatest. The greatest among all princes and princesses. The greatest, despite there being kings, queens, and harbinger above me. The greatest, because every passing second, I held that inside of me. I knew. I knew it was going to give me an edge.”

“And so it did,” Moonscar declared. “I will have it examined and tested thoroughly. But greatest…”

“Yes, you need to test it here. There's a reason I brought it here, because if it works in this partially trespassed environment,” he gestured at the Gray House, “in this place of places made specifically for you invaders to flourish and function, then it can work on Earth. Well, so it seems. But before that, its engine room has been changed. Changed by the source, changed by my engineers. And I don't think it will fly right. Not unless it is being drenched in source.” 

And suddenly, Wei had a feeling that he wasn't going to like what Greatest said next. “But it was also missing something. It got changed when it crossed over, and to function, it needs more than just a crew. It needs a captain. A captain and a heart. Someone to fuel it. Someone to give it a reason to cross over. This is a half-and-half vehicle. An instrument of Essence and reality both. And so,” he looked at Wei, and he grinned, “we need someone equally alloyed of parentage and nature to be its anchor. Otherwise, it's not going to truly reach its maximum potential.”

Yet, before anyone could do anything else, the submarine rose into the air, surrounded by a swirling haze of pale stones. Moonscar examined the submarine for a moment, clasping her hands behind her back. Then slowly, the massive vehicle began to shrink. It went from being a colossal hundred-meter-long tube to simply something the size of a canteen. Then finally, it returned to Moonscar, orbiting around her with the small fragments of stone that always accompanied her form.

“I will hold it for now,” Moonscar said. “Thank you for offering this to us.” She took a step to her side and the door to the Gray House swung open, showing Moonscar’s office once more. “Would you like some beverages, Prince of Pride?”

“Why not?” Greatest said. “Let's go over in detail how much I hate your people over some crumpets and tea, how much I look forward to you helping me and seeing your people gone.”

Greatest walked through the doors and Wei stared on.

“Bishop?” Wei said.

“Yeah, Wei,” Bishop replied.

“Am I going to have to go inside the submarine?”

“You very well might, kid.”

“I don't want to. I fear the smell. I can taste the smell with my Omniscience.”

“I'm sorry, Wei. I'm sorry for bringing you to the Claimed Hells. I'm sorry for everything. And I'm sorry for myself as well, because we're about to talk to this piece of shit again. I’m just glad I didn’t need to sneak up his ass this time.”

“What?”