Blown away by the support

I am blown away by all the support, stories, words of kindness from not just my subscribers for a few indie developers have also sent me their wishes and I am very grateful.

I have a much more positive feel today but the insomnia is starting to wear me out a bit, only grabbed 4 hours last night but it's better than nothing.  I also went to Tesco which was something I bottled two days earlier.  I had to avoid busy isles and I had to really focus my mind to stay calm, it's really strange.  I am sure by this time next week am shopping as usual, it's just like falling off a bike then getting back on it.

Another thing am finding strange is that all of a sudden your mind accelerates it's thoughts to about 10 times normal speed, you can't process any of them,  you feel your blood pressure rise and then your head buzzes and hurts.  BP this morning 158/107 which is not good but hopefully after a nice walk and some fresh air it will come down.

We are heading out to a nature reserve shortly, she is just doing her hair :)  I spent most of last night and this morning listening to some music, really good for calming you down.  Sorry if this post is rambling but it's doing me good so why not.

Been thinking a lot about my lifestyle and working hours and the more I think about it the more I see why I am in the mess I am now.  I have become an obsessed mad man with my content, I did more reviews in 2018 than any other youtube reviewer that I could see, a total workaholic.  This has to change and I am already looking at setting some guidelines and rules for myself such as cut off times and capping my hours as well as exercise and diet.

The comments issue is more of a side show atm, they were disabled to stop me getting into arguments and it worked.  They will remain disabled until I get back to work which will be when I feel able, it will probably just be the odd video here and there until I get a routine sorted.  I don't think I will even bother reading the comments when they are enabled, it's pointless, way too many people full of shit.  I will use Patreon and Discord for feedback instead, at least the conversations will be civil. 

Anyway we are off out now, thanks again for your kind words and support.

Mack