I allowed my work load to exceed my capabilities.

Thanks for all the emails/messages of support.

I have been working well beyond reasonable for a long time and it was just a matter of time before something broke and that happened on Friday at 5:00am  I felt something break inside me, my partner says I was babbling on in bed like a mad man, it sounds hilarious but the reality was confirmed to me today by a Doctor that I have suffered a nervous breakdown.

This has really annoyed me as I could see it coming as far back as a year ago and I did nothing to prevent it and now am in a mess.  I can't cope with anything at all, my brain is just a fog and my body feels all over the place, panic attacks, pains, erratic thoughts it's not good.  

I have had some sleep since coming back from the Docs, I feel exhausted all the time and at this moment I feel much better, I think it's due to visiting the Doc and knowing that there is help happening.  He referred me to the mental health department, Rabbit is already making a straight jacket.

I have been ordered to keep away from anything bad or negative, I am going to have to be careful over the coming months about workload and the things I review.  I am still going to review games as I get pleasure from doing that and streaming will also be good for me as I get great pleasure from that too.  I will be keeping all my comments disabled on Youtube until I am feeling better, it's not the ideal solution but I really can't be bothered with the haters at this time.

I have learnt a valuable lesson here, it's not worth it, busting a gut month after month, worrying about the future, scrambling to get the reviews out for launch, fuck it, never again, I would not wish this on anyone, time for a new Mack, a sensible one.

Cheers

Mack