WCMBI - Chapter 274: Overwhelming Bitterness

"But there is a biological mother present, so that's not possible. I am Adella's godmother and your dear friend."

Various emotions flickered through me. Overwhelmed by a sense of inferiority toward someone who deserved more gratitude than I could ever express, I couldn't bring myself to meet her gaze.

"What you're worried about, I didn't understand at first, but now I do."

Without saying a word, she addressed me with a voice filled with poignant concern.

"Indeed, you lost your pheromone glands and sense of smell in that accident. It alone is a sorrowful affair, and I hadn't thought you might be facing further troubles."

Gently alternating her gaze between me and slumbering Adella, she continued.

"When Olivia offered you the precious elixir, I found it foolish of you to refuse. Why decline something that money cannot easily procure? Restoring your pheromone glands would bring tranquility to Adella, and it would be a boon to yourself as well. Why did you turn it away?"

"Matapju..."

"Having pondered such questions for a long time, I came to know inadvertently that you had undergone imprinting."

"Our Matap holds many omegas with diverse tales, yet never before has there been a case like yours, where imprinting occurred and then vanished. I wish to help in any way I can, but the intricacies are now shrouded in enigma, even for someone like me. Pheromones are elusive and absolute, unseen by the eye."

"You're right, Matapju. It terrifies me."

For the first time, I laid my heart bare to someone. Though my admiration and fondness for Lucía remained, the most significant frailty had been kept hidden from everyone. The sense of betrayal that had accumulated over time had unconsciously led me to don a mask and keep my distance.

"Am I truly a wretched and heartless mother? I turned away from Adella because of my own suffering. Despite knowing that a child who had never received pheromones from biological parents could suffer emotionally, I rejected even well-meaning overtures from others."

No tears welled up. Tears, too, required a certain entitlement to flow. I only released a heartfelt lament, burdened with stones piled within my chest.

"Knowing the agony of imprinting better than anyone, I am now turning a blind eye to Ian's anguish. I am furious and reluctant to forgive. But if I don't forgive him, it feels like I'm denying even the pain and suffering I've experienced, and that bitterness is overwhelming."

"Mel..."

"On the subject of uttering forgiveness-like words to Ian, I've broken every promise I made. I'm turning away from everything, and I... well, I lack the courage, Lucía."

Yes, I had prattled on convincingly until now, but I was a coward, blocking my ears and covering my eyes. Maybe I should opt for comfort instead. Why did I carry this heavy boulder and wander aimlessly?

Though I had gained abilities as a sorceress, my heart was still trapped in the days of sneaking around the Marquess's annex, constantly looking over my shoulder.

It was frightening and daunting. It was sorrowful and anguishing. And so, I couldn't make any decisions, avoiding and evading myself, and I loathed this about myself. The long-standing weakness was creeping up on me.

Ultimately, even if circumstances and surroundings changed, if I myself did not change, nothing would be different, and I acutely felt this truth.

But I could no longer procrastinate. For Adella's sake, and before I deteriorated further, I had to make a resolution.