December update: Underperforming. Life. Taking a week off.
Added 2020-12-05 17:19:32 +0000 UTCNow, to contrast the last cheery post, let's talk about how awful I feel!π
I've always felt that communication is key in this business, so i might get personal for a bit. Yall gotta know i'm going through some stuff.
If you've noticed i've gotten more distant and quiet in social media, discord, etc. as well as delivering my pages late recently, it's because I'm exhausted. All the time.
I've been struggling with chronic insomnia (again) since July. A quick recap. right about the same time, I dealt with something similar last year. Prostatitis at my ripe old age of 28 (in 2019), pain in my crotch, insomnia. I was feeling better early this year, after buying a house, moving, and undergoing surgery for the crotch thing, the prostate thing is treated with meds.
That's when the pandemic shit hit the fan. Then on July the insomnia came back again, and hasn't left. The prostatitis is back too, although i caught it much earlier this time around. So now i got the prostate of an old man, sleep like an old man, and i'm grumpy all the time like an old man, all before reaching 30 next month π΄ I'll be scaring kids away off my lawn any moment now.
Anyways, I'm telling you this as an apology for being slower and erratic with updates, as well as more distant lately. That's probably not gonna change anytime soon.
I've been treating the insomnia (unsuccessfully) for the past 3 months, with several specialists. It's slow as fuuuuck since you gotta try a ton of "safe" stuff first before trying the more hardcore solutions. I'll be taking some pretty strong and scary drugs my neurologist prescribed me next week, but at least that's gonna be just for 2 weeks or so. Who knows how i'll feel during and after that. If that's not enough, the next step would be looking for psychiatric help and figure out wtf is wrong with my head. Other than too many catgirls that is. jk there's no such thing.
I try to take it one day at a time. And try to focus on my responsibilities first. At least it hasn't gotten in the way of that π
On that note, i'll give myself a week off for the holiday. Not that I can do a lot amidst the pandemic, but still. I could use a break in this dumpster-fire of a year. It will be from the 21st to the 27th. No MLWF, no after-hours, no nothing. I'll make sure to finish all the patreon requests before that.
Anyways, that was a bummer. But I stay positive. It's been objectively a very good year in other regards. I wish y'all a peaceful, calm holiday. Stay safe βοΈ
Comments
It is. But when life hits you hard and you get knocked out you just need to stand up and move on. Step by step. Believe me it's not easy! I have broken down two times in the last nine years but I won't give up. In the mean time, I have thought of something. I roleplay a lot, Dungeons and Dragons and other systems, and I have thought of a setting either where the players are your characters (or somebody like them) or the players are soldiers facing your characters, but don't know that the enemies are animals or "mutants". I haven't written anything down, it just came to me one night when I read a whole hour of your story. There is plenty of RPG systems but rather few that you can be animals in (that I know of), but I won't bother you with that. Incidentally I just supported a kickstarter this Autumn of a RPG system that lets the players be animals in a 1930's city - with magic. ;) I think I can do something with that. ^^
Hans Peter Bak
2020-12-11 00:06:18 +0000 UTCHoly shit dude... i'm speechless. That's... so rough D: Im sure you dont want mine or anybody's pity. Thanks for sharing this part of you. I hope my work brings you some joy and entertainment. Life is truly one challenge after another, I suppose. Thank you.
Kenno Arkkan
2020-12-10 19:18:16 +0000 UTCHi Kenno. I know how you feel - for the sleeping part. Nine years ago a stroke in my brain hit me. I was 37. It hit me in the sleep department if you can call it that (and so many other spots). I can't sleep more than 3-5 hours per day but I do rest a lot, maybe I can sleep half an hour after lunch. Maybe. There's lots of other damages to my brain, for instance I have aphasia (trouble with talking) I spoke English and German fluently but I can't do that anymore, and I wrote English and German perfectly - well nearly perfect. Now I can't spell. :/ Hooray for spell-checking! I can't work anymore so I'm lucky that I live in Scandinavia. There is always a day after this one. You have to take one day at a time. I do. My stroke have given me time to think. I cherish the small things in life now: A sunset, a bird on a tree, my girlfriend making a nice dinner, me making a nice dinner. :) I root for you. You have very imaginative mind and you are a great storyteller. ^^
Hans Peter Bak
2020-12-10 16:58:15 +0000 UTCthanks bruh ;o; happy holidays to the missus and you, and the pupper and cats π
Kenno Arkkan
2020-12-07 16:32:51 +0000 UTCπββοΈπ Maybe they're opposites, the more consistent you're at art, the less consistent your sleep gets
Kenno Arkkan
2020-12-07 16:28:12 +0000 UTCtrue, but not everybody always needs to work 100%. sometimes a little less can make a huge difference on how you feel as a whole. plus I would say you don't take much in terms of vacactions, so keep that in mind too. ;) but yeah in the end its your call and I fully support you on that. But I would also fully support it if you say you wanna slow down a bit to prevent yourself from burning out.
BsCommissions
2020-12-07 16:25:44 +0000 UTCWell, if I pop my abacus and get anal about it, I don't really work more than 40 hours a week just like everybody else in a modern society does. So i don't think i'm overworking myself just yet (although, that's something a workaholic would say, right? xD) Regardless, I've been trying to "work smarter, not harder" in the last few years, with different degrees of success. And that's something I'll keep striving for. I'll take your words to heart and see what else I can do to shave off some work hoursπ€
Kenno Arkkan
2020-12-07 16:22:33 +0000 UTCi would hardly call 1 week "the forseeable future" xD but thanks! Happy holidays c:
Kenno Arkkan
2020-12-07 16:17:46 +0000 UTCi'm older on the inside, trust me.
Kenno Arkkan
2020-12-07 16:16:53 +0000 UTCLove you so much dude, take the time you need to rest and care for yourself first!
Dsan
2020-12-07 02:46:44 +0000 UTCIf you need to take the break sooner please do!
Thestooge
2020-12-06 12:55:53 +0000 UTCThank-you for being honest and open with us. Keep doing your best to take care of you, for sure. The great art will continue in good time! π
2020-12-05 22:32:07 +0000 UTCyoure one of the most reliable/consistent artists I know of--- you definitely earned a break
MizaruSketch
2020-12-05 19:41:55 +0000 UTCKenno, you really work hard for us, you deserve all the breaks and free time in the world! But for real, take care of yourself and I hope you can overcome every obstacle. Fuerza πͺπ»!!!
2020-12-05 17:35:04 +0000 UTCjust as a suggestion for the future and obviously other patreon's have to give their two cents. but have you considered slowing things down a bit. you have a fairly packed schedule. maybe rearrange things and free up an extra day a week for you to cool off? obviously I can only speak for myself. but I think you deserve it to have some more time to yourself and take care of yourself in the long run.
BsCommissions
2020-12-05 17:25:50 +0000 UTCSo you'll be in hibernation for the foreseeable future? Considering 2020 overall, that's not a bad idea... But yeah, being able to sleep when the body demands it is paramount (not sleeping almost 2 weeks straight due to pneumonia was - literally - an eye opener for me) - and we'll still be here when the ice thaws... :*)
Leak
2020-12-05 17:25:06 +0000 UTCI remember you struggling earlier with the health stuff, but I'm very sorry to hear that things have gotten bad again. I don't every like to pry into people's situations, but I am grateful for the update. Pushing yourself is always a bad idea - hopefully the time away will do you well, and you can get onto treatments that will help you. Didn't realize you were younger than me lmao I feel old.
FeliciaIsMaiWaifu
2020-12-05 17:22:32 +0000 UTC
