[OC - Brian and Chester] - 3

CW: implied domestic violence and mental health issues

I grip my Apple pencil tightly. It's been 2 weeks since it happened. Ever since that day, it was never the same.

In the mornings, Chester would try to wake me up. He's taken more kitchen duty than usual. A win for me, because with him getting busier, I can get away with napping. But sometimes I wonder if I'm too troublesome.

Before bed, we would do uni work together as I help him with his long-ass readings. Though, it always ends with me locking myself away from his distracting flirtations. He's gotten comfortable with calling me baby. I was hoping I would get to tease him more about that slipup.

I would say, things have gotten less miserable. Less lonely. 

He never brings up my fetish but he would give it to me when I ask. He's pretty gentle with it.

And I still can't get over the fact that I actually spilled my secret. I get lost in my thoughts. And before I knew it, I had filled my canvas with strewn scribbles. Someone knows it now. And he also happened to be… my boyfriend. 

Red cheeks smacked on my iPad, it echoed across the empty eatery. Sitting in front of me is my friend, Leon, with his blue cat ears perked up.

“You okay, bud?” He takes a bite of his large meal. 

“It's just been a lot lately.” I slide the iPad off my face. I glance away in embarrassment.

“Uh-huh? Too much course work?” said Leon's deep voice of concern. Judging from the tone, maybe HE'S been having a rough one. His loosened necktie connotes that.

“That, and just. Lovelife stuff.” I respond while tapping on one of my digital sketches.

Leon knows I'm usually the one who’s stoic. Unless, well, I was thinking about my crush-I mean boyfriend. My heart pounds in the flurry of thoughts of Chester. It all feels unreal.

“What's new? You're gonna talk again about how you feel hopeless living with your crush? It’s been ages, bud. I'm telling you, you gotta confess while you're both still young.”

Leon takes a couple sips on his alcohol. Funny he says that when we're only a year apart in age.

“We’re together now.”

He spits out the drink from shock. Coughs escaping him as he turns to raise his eyebrows.

“I never thought I'd see the day, Brian.” His rumbling voice fills the room.

“Oh, so you were equally as hopeless as me, then.”

Leon smirks, “I admit I've been feeling dreadful.”

We both laugh.

I absentmindedly continue the sketches where I left it. It's. A bunch of doodles of Chester. And then I realized how much I drew him the other day… 

“Hey. You don't seem too excited?” Leon chimes in.

Despite Chester acknowledging my wedgie fetish, I still can't shake the feeling that he’s secretly disgusted by it… I mean, he said he wouldn't judge me but… come to think of it, people lie. Like my ex.

I managed to reply, “No it's just. Ever had a secret part of you that you're weird about but now it's not a secret anymore?”

“Does your partner know something I don't?” 

‘Well, you catch on pretty quick.”

“-So you said something you shouldn't have to your partner?” He sounds like a detective now.

“...Kinda. He took it well. Surprisingly quite well. But I still can't shake the feeling that I'm regretting it. I don't know. It's embarrassing.”

“Did he stay?”

I pause at the question. He did stay. In fact, it brought us together. As surreal as it can get, he's gotten closer to me because of it.

“Yeah.” I manage through the wave of thoughts.

“Then there's nothing to worry about.” Leon preaches. He takes a bite of his meal.

“I have no idea what to think. What if he secretly finds me weird? Should I have kept it a secret instead?”

“If you think there's something shameful about you, either you lack self-love or he doesn't love you. Because if he did, he wouldn't make you feel weird about it.. but did he?”

“No. Never. It's purely… me.” My voice a bit defensive.

“Hm.” Leon gives me a nod as he drinks his drink.

“A frog in a well knows nothing of the sea. In this case, you're the frog, and your thoughts are the well. You are full of worries right now and it's stopping you from fully enjoying it.”

I ponder. I've forgotten how good Leon can be with his pep talks.

“Don't let your worries barricade the love in front of you. There's much for both of you to explore freely.” he adds.

It's easier said than done, but he's right. And I'm fully aware that these worries won't go away in one or two nights. Hell, even months.

❦❦❦❦❦❦❦❦❦❦

I tried not to, but I still managed to sleep through the jeepney ride home. I yawn as I walk on the empty 12AM street of the village. I stop by the convenience store to buy my usual stock of instant cup ramen and mami.

I wonder if Leon’s home yet? I kept him up for quite a while there. He'll probably never hear the end of it. I'm sorry, Leon’s boyfriend.

…Boyfriend. Hm…

I wonder how Chester’s doing?

He's probably asleep by now. Man's got a perfect schedule. I dread the morning when he nags me awake like my mothers. And speaking of nagging… Shit, I forgot to check my messages.

I open my phone to find Chester's texts, among other uni-related messages.

‘Hey, what's up? 2PM’

‘Haha, you dozing off again or what? 4:45PM.’

‘I just finished my classes, everything good there? 5PM’

‘Yo9 get off at 7PM right? Text me when you can, k? <3. 6:57PM.’

I sigh. And a gentle smile escapes me as I stare at the screen. 

“Don't let your worries barricade the love in front of you.”

Hm. You're right Leon, but it almost feels too good to be true… I massage the back of my neck. Ugh, I shouldn't be this troubled.

Finally, after the 5-minute walk, I reached the condo. Unlocking the door, I walk to a dark serene space. I let out a long and loud yawn. I jumped as soon as I opened my eyes to find Chester with a his arms crossed-

“Fuck! You scared the shit out of me.” I blurt out.

“YOU scared the shit out of me. You're never usually this late?” Chester’s voice is oozing with worry.

“Don't worry. I'm still alive and well.” I try to walk past him and pat his shoulder but I'm stopped with his sudden grab on my wrist. It was gentle but I still managed to flinch. I was expecting something else...

“You don't respond to my texts, then you come home in the middle of the night? You got me worried sick.” His voice had a hint of disappointment. It aches my chest.

“Sorry. I just met up with a friend after handling some uni work.”

He glances down.

“And you bought junk food again.”

“Chester, please don't tell me what to eat…” maybe being dismissive towards him was a bad idea, but I was too exhausted for this.

“I know… I just.” He takes a deep breath.

“I prepared something for you hours ago. You barely eat. Let alone snack on something healthy. I thought you should try having better eating habits.”

“Huh. Haven't you gotten used to that by now?”

“Can't your boyfriend take care of you for once?” Chester gently lays down my arm. His grip dispersed.

I pause. He's right, we're not just roommates now. We're boyfriends. We're actually dating.

“I'm sorry.” And then I blush.

“...I'm sorry too. Just. I can't force you to give up bad habits but at least take care of yourself.”

“...please?”

“Okay…” I knew I let my guard down again when I gave in to his sudden hug. Despite all my neglect, he's been gentle with me. I was expecting something else…

That's right… Chester isn't like him.

No. He's different. He's caring. He's affectionate. But why is that so hard to swallow? I just want to enjoy this moment!

“Chester…” I mumble.

“Yeah..?”

“Have I been a bad boy?”

Chester pulls back from the hug, a curious expression on his face, like he's verifying something. I stare him in the eye with a smirk. Not too hungry, but not too tamed.

His face turns assertive. “You have.” He responds.

“I think… I deserve to be punished. But.. I'm too tired. So please be gentle with me.” My voice comes out ambiguous, but I wink at him to confirm what I want.

Chester pulls me back in. Locking his arms around me, restraining me, with his hands sliding on my lower back to grip the hem of my tucked in shirt.

“I don't know. You've been pretty disobedient, baby.”

He slides my shirt up, the fabric crumpling on my back.  I feel warm rough hands slide down my pants, brushing my ass.

“...you deserve anything but gentle.” and then he grabs a handful of my briefs-His chest expands and I feel the sudden bulging of biceps around me as he hauls my undergarment taut between my asscheeks.

Immediately, I let out a loud rough moan. 

“I will never get tired of that sound,” he adds. He heaves and then he yanks again, both hands gripping hard on the stretchy briefs. I groan, he grunts. Harmonizing with the popping sounds of the undies.

Two yanks in and my ass is already burning from the friction. My dick twitches at the pressure. Just as I felt before, I feel as though his own hands are cupping my balls and squeezing my dick. Except it's not, it's my underwear being wrenched up my in-betweens by this fine man of mine.

I let out another yelp as the sharp pain on my taint and hole exponentially strikes again. Fuck, he knows how to turn my underwear to a lethal weapon. He gives a few more yanks. And I shudder in return, generous with my groans and shaky breaths.

This hug, this growing pressure on my crotch. His bulging biceps crushing my sides. My jaw pressing on his chest. He lifts me a few inches up with my undies. It causes me to grip desperately on his shirt

“Had enough, baby?” He yanks as if to command me to answer. And I gasp.

“‘Cause I'm not done yet.” He yanks again. I've lost count on how much he's inflicted. A chorus of tearing fabric sets off. He keeps it up in the air. And I extend my rough groan. That stabbing feeling between my cheeks is unrelenting. The pumping friction and tightness on my crotch unwavering.

He affirms, “You’re mine, and no one else's. Remember that. You're all mine-”

And then my mind went black. Flashbacks of a hand that slapped me. Restraining me.

Before I knew it I was tapping and punching his back-

“-stop. Stop.”

“Heh, you really think I-”

“Stop!” I start to panic. I can't catch up with my breath, my eyes bulging. My mind racing.

“Brian?” He immediately lets go of my underwear. He grabs me by the shoulders. 

“Hey, you okay? Brian?”

I couldn't give any other response other than panting.

“Hey, hey.. it's okay. It's me. I'm here. It's me, Chester.”

He tries to soothe my shoulders. He raises his hand in attempt to caress my cheek. I flinch and squeeze my eyes shut… He halts.

I eventually calmed down. I slowly open my eyes to see his worried face. 

Chester's worried face. That's right. It's Chester. His raised hand is back down to my shoulders. The grip wasn't as hard as I thought I felt just now. And he wasn't trying to hit me. He was trying to touch my cheek. He slides his arm away. Suddenly, my shoulder felt cold.

I stare at him. My breath steady, my eyes a crushing full moon. He raises his palm again. Hesitantly, he brushes a thumb on my cheek. He wasn't trying to hit me. He wasn't trying to hurt me.

“I'm here.” His voice is full of tenderness. A mix of relief and worry. Relieved that I've calmed down. And I guess… worried that he might have triggered something in me. And that it's his fault. But I know it's not.

“Sorry”, I say. A wave of weariness washes over me as I look away. Chester tries to hug me but he assesses the situation. Instead, he brushes his hand over my messy hair.

“Don't be…”, he replies. “Did I go too far?” He adds.

“No… I think. I uhh. I-I just remembered… fuck-”, I scramble to find the words. My sweat making me feel worse

“It's okay, Brian. You can take your time...” Chester smiles.

“But…” 

“You can tell me when you're ready. Right now, I think you should get some rest.” He adds. That voice soothes me. It's wonderful how he switches from punisher to caregiver. It's a little too good.

“...You're right.” I say.

I just wanted to enjoy the moment. Why did that have to happen? Why am I like this?

I walk to my room and he pats my back. As soon as I reached my door, I looked back at Chester who's still watching over me. 

“Hey uh. Do you wanna sleep with me?”

“Huh..?” He blushes.

“That's 3 seconds. I take it back, idiot.” I tease and open the door.

“W-wait!” 

I stop.

“Yes. I’d love to.” He answers.

I hum a smile and he walks in after me.

It's been 5 months since I let this man in my life. At a time where I felt alone, I was desperate for company. It was probably a risky move, letting a stranger be my roommate. But everyone I knew had their own thing, I didn't have anyone else to ask. I was never the social type. Hell, people would be scared to approach me at times. But I'm trying now. 

Ever since he came, my life hasn't been quiet. But he was a different kind of noise. It’s the right noise I was asking for. But the past keeps holding me back. I got this far in getting close to him, but, at least for now, I'm struggling to move forward.