Medical Anecdote

"Please, please! One more… tell me one more!” Christine and Paula smiled. They were used to this. Every time they went to dinner, they had to tell their friend Barb stories about their jobs in the hospital. The work was something they adored, and they were never short of anecdotes. However, it felt like this was the only thing they ever talked about. Heck, this was the fourth story since they arrived at the restaurant. The conjoined pair looked at each other for a second and then nodded. “Okay, it'll be the last one though. And the typical caveat of in order to protect the privacy of patients we are going to change their names,” said Christine. “And after this you are going to tell us a story about YOUR job,” added Paula. “Deal,” Barb said nodding excitedly. “OK, so we had this patient from…. last month….” ******************************************* “Send in the next patient,” Christine and Paula said to their nurse. The door opened and a shy girl with a worried expression walked inside. “H-hello…” the girl said, the door swinging shut behind her. “What’s your name and how can we help you?” Paula said with a smile as Christine pointed to the seat across from them, inviting them to sit down. “My name is… Solange… and I’m feeling strange,” the girl said touching a hand to her chest. “Strange? What are your symptoms?” Paula asked, as Christine reached for a stethoscope. “I feel very hot,” Solange said. “And I can hear my heartbeat all the time. It’s like a constant anxiety attack. It’s been this way since this morning and it doesn’t go away, no matter what I do.” Christine had already begun listening to the young girl’s heart. “It’s probably just stress, you don’t have to-” she paused mid sentence. “Paula, you should hear this.” She handed Paula the earpiece of the stethoscope. Solange’s face went pale. “W-what’s happening? Is my heart okay? Am I going to die?” Christine took Solange’s hand and reassured her. “Don’t worry. You are in good hands.” Paula continued. “We did hear an abnormality in your heartbeat, but not in a bad way. Have you ever been tested for the mutant gene?” “What?” Solange said even more confused than before. “N-no, why?” she said. She couldn’t sit still. “You heart, or should we say hearts,” Christine said. “You have two of them. Two heart beats. Very clear.” “Which means,” Paula said. “You have started mutating, on the inside at least. We would need to run some tests to see if you will mutate any further. This could be the sign of a bigger mutation, or it could be nothing more than what it is now. Either way we can refer you to a mutant professional. “No, I don’t think…” Solange said before trailing off. Her hands slowly rose to her head as her neck tilted strangely. She seemed very disoriented and confused. Before Christine and Paula could do anything, Solange arched her back sharply. “UGH!! WHAT'S GOING ON WITH MY BODY??" Solange said trembling and clinging tightly to her chair. "Well, that is some timing,” Paula said. “AGHH!” Solange kept screaming, as her body convulsed and her chest swelled. Her already noticeable breasts doubled and split downward. They could hear the sound of her bra ripping as her breasts parted into four perfect breasts. "It’s ok. We’re here to help you. Take a deep breath,” Christine said taking Solange's hand only to let it go immediately when she felt it double in size. Her arms split in two from her elbows to her hands, leaving her with four forearms and four hands. Christine and Paula gasped as Solange's face was also undergoing a similar process. Her head had grown slightly, and her mouth was slurping and splitting apart, doubling into a second one. A third eye also developed right in the center, making Solange’s vision blur a little. "What the…?! What's wrong with my vision?” Solange asked, unintentionally speaking from both her mouths. The doctors immediately laid her down on the gurney to reassure her. “It's normal for you to be groggy. You just mutated. Try to relax and breath slowly. Everything will be ok.” “O-Okay. I’ll try. God, this is so weird,” Solange said, taking a deep breath and closing her eyes. “How much have I changed?” All four of her hands were shaking. “It seems that you are doing some kind of mitosis. Can you follow my finger? Paula said holding up a finger in front of Solange and watching as all three of her eyes followed it. “It feels very strange, even my thoughts are a bit… confusing,” Solange said, still speaking through both of her mouths. “Mutations take some time to get used to. But don’t worry. We'll assign you to the mutant rehab team and run tests to make sure you’ve stabilized. If you feel you need it, we can also refer you to a mutant therapist,” Christine said. After verifying that Solange was in good health, they sent her off to the mutant care department and moved onto the next patient. Several weeks passed before Solange knocked on their door again. To their surprise, she looked very different. She walked elegantly in clothes tailored for her new form. She now had four arms completely separated and independent, six breasts paired in rows of two, and her head had completely split into two independent heads. What was curious is that one of them had her natural color and haircut while the other seemed to have taken a completely different look, much wilder and more rebellious. "Oh, Solange, wow!" Christine said. “You look good!" Paula said, as surprised as her sister was. “We're still adjusting,” the original Solange said as she pointed to the other head. “She's my sister Bianca. She has all my memories, but a somewhat less... shy personality than mine." "What’s up?" Bianca said, flashing a peace sign. She wasn’t shy at all. Quite the opposite in fact. "W-Well, it's nice to meet you, Bianca," Christine said. "You already knew me; I remember you two. So, you can skip the introductions," Bianca said with a somewhat cold tone. Although when she noticed the uncomfortable expression of the doctors, she only sighed and looked away. "Sorry, I'm still getting used to this..." “She wants to say thank you for taking care of us before we split,” Solange said, laughing. "I-I didn't say that!" Bianca said, completely red and angry. “I'm glad to see that you two can get along well,” said Paula, giggling nervously. The two girls hit the table "We don’t!!" they both said before regretting their reaction and stepping back in embarrassment. The two girls looked at each other and then at the doctors before asking. "How do you two do it?" Solange asked. “How do we do what?” Christine asked. “Share a body. That's why we came here. We’ve been…struggling,” Solange said quietly. Christine and Paula smiled. “We don't always get along either. But we can help you,” Christine said. “Yeah, we have an entire lifetime of experience being like this,” Paula added. ******************************************* "Hold on,” Barb interrupted. “Are you talking about Charlotte and Suzy? I saw you post a picture with them last week.” Christine shrugged, playing like she didn’t know. “You tell me," she said with a wink and a smile.