Kina Diaries: Social Media Woes
Added 2018-11-02 00:50:37 +0000 UTCsocial media is a tricky thing. it can help us learn from each other, feel less alone, get inspired, be entertained, and a handful of other wonderful things, but more often than not (and perhaps i’m just speaking for my own unenlightened self) it leaves us feeling worse. i just lost 20 minutes clicking aimlessly, only to find myself on someone’s profile—whom i‘d never even heard of—browsing through her “life”, and comparing x, y, and z about my own life/body/success/you name it against hers.
there are so many levels here. for starters, i know that if i could just be a little more evolved of a person, just love myself a little more and care a little less about what everyone else thinks, this wouldn’t be an issue. i know envy is gross. so that’s on me, and it’s something i am aggressively and consistently working on.
but the other side of this is that what you see on social media is often not real life. and somehow knowing this STILL doesn’t cure us of feeling bad about ourselves.
it’s a dangerous cycle. i take in what the world tells me is “perfect”, which makes me feel i’m falling short, which makes me feel the need to play the game just to keep up—do my hair, put on makeup, select only the photos where i look my “best.” and now i’m part of that machine, curating a not-entirely-realistic version of myself to show to the world, and helping to perpetuate this mindset that what we LOOK like is more important than who we really are.
i also know that it’s not all bad. it’s fun to admire beauty and the aesthetics of things. it can bring us joy and inspire us. but maybe every once in a while it‘d be good to throw a little real life into the mix. no makeup. no super amazing-looking life in the background. no trying to fix my weird eyebrow that never wants to be a perfect eyebrow shape.
so anyway, just thought i’d take a moment to share #howitreallyis. i’m a person, still in my pajamas, with a sometimes weird eyebrow, who still compares and then feels crummy and then judges herself for comparing in the first place.
also, i think you’re perfect. would love to hear from you about #howitreallyis ♡
Comments
I like the way you looked at the internet there on this picture ❤️🌞
2020-01-05 11:03:15 +0000 UTCThe un-make-up version of you is so cute and lovable too!
2018-12-27 00:45:13 +0000 UTCDear Kina, I've been a quiet listener until now, just silentely loving every little bit of this world that you're showing us. And now this post felt so right from my soul! I just know what your talking about so well, and I feel so relieved and also so sad that even you -you lovely, beautiful (inside & out), shining being- have to experience these insecurities and this pain! Just know that you seem to be as perfect (or even more perfect, because you show that you are real, and vulnerable) as everyone else on social media could seem to be. And if you don't feel that perfect, just be sure that everyone else also doesn't feel like that! And just think about how we love you for being you, and we love you without makeup and without a fancy life in the background. Just because you're Kina.
2018-11-06 05:54:31 +0000 UTCSo she went next door and got a better job.
DCM
2018-11-05 21:39:56 +0000 UTCMy daughter in law has been studying for a new job. I mean that she got an internship, volunteered, worked hard to be successful, it's a science job so she did fieldwork in pretty rugged conditions, and when the job that she wanted was advertised her name did not show up on the hiring list. Other people who had never worked in the field of study, never been to the location, etc. She was feeling pretty low. She found out that everyone on the list noted that they were "expert" in the job elements. How can this be? Well, if you were to write your own profile ....
DCM
2018-11-05 21:39:31 +0000 UTCI suppose if I were to write a profile of myself I would be younger, richer, sexier, have hair, be kinder, more involved in social issues, more successful with a company providing jobs for hundreds of wonderful employees that are happy to work for me, hmmm...what else? Oh, my wife would never be unhappy with me, my sons would be self made successes in ways other and "better" than they are now, all of my friends would be happy and my Patreon links would always be smiling. But alas, I am me, aging quickly and never perfect. isn't life grand? Well, it is actually, but never when we compare ourselves to a standard other than what we carry in our heads.
DCM
2018-11-05 21:36:33 +0000 UTCThank you for this. I can totally relate on this. This helps me to be a better version of myself without comparing it to others.. thanks kina... #howitreallyis :)
2018-11-04 02:53:04 +0000 UTCCurious...for a candid photo, did you take it once and post it, or is this the best pic of several, still kind of hanging onto the ego and public persona issue you've brought up...
2018-11-03 20:31:50 +0000 UTCHi Kina. Hope you're feeling better. #howitreallyis is what we always see ... the same beautiful person we've come to love over the past couple of years. Although, I must admit your bed head is almost as good as mine :) Being a little older than you (okay a lot older) I've come to realize that somethings in life can only be learned through experience (as you said "evolved") - you can't cram your evolution into an evening of reading books, articles, etc. Perhaps a good analogy you can relate to would be "stage fright" - no matter how much you read or talk about it you won't be able to get used to it until you experience it, perhaps several dozen/hundreds times. Pesonal evolution, to say the least requires experience, time, and honest/insightful self-evaluation amongt other things ... I'm no expert, but seeing you grow up these past couple of years I'd say you've done a pretty good job for someone your age and it the spot light. I know it's hard not to feel bad, but be proud that you've recognized this and want to change it. Also, it's not a bad thing to worry about what others think - it just means you care about other people - just don't let it change you and get out of control. Surround yourself with people who love you for you and you will be happy - it's a hard thing to do even as a regular person but I'm sure it's possible knowing you (and the people behind you; Jesse, Mom/Dad, Sisters, etc) and my fellow Kinerds who love you for you. Personally, your personality and music have helped our family through some very tough times, so I hope these words (I'm sure you've heard it all before) can help you in return. Sorry for the novel, I'm not really a social media person/poster, but felt compelled to write to you. Have a great weekend.
2018-11-03 07:56:01 +0000 UTCI find it get's easier as I get older. No, not easier. It doesn't. Rather, I care less, as I get older. I can go for days without combing my hair. Just can't be bothered. Sometimes I skip the shower and stink up the office. I also like to play my guitar loudly. In the office. Yes! When I play your music in the office, people ask if there's something wrong. To which I say, no! Yeah, so that's how it really is ;)
2018-11-02 23:38:15 +0000 UTCVery well said, Kina. You are an awesome and beautiful person!
Skip Stromenger
2018-11-02 23:03:19 +0000 UTC
