❤️ You're Not Alone ❤️ (We All Know Loneliness) (It's Hard, But We Can Do This)
Added 2023-08-15 20:23:54 +0000 UTCI literally responded because I felt compelled. This message had no hate, no bile, just an honest expression of loneliness. And who the feck can't relate to that? So, I responded. Obviously, I'm not a therapist, I'm not qualified to give anything but my opinion, but here it is.
Patron who DM'd me:
"U probably won't respond to this but just need somewhere to vent. I have been on dating apps for about a year now and the furthest I've come is talking to two girls for more then 2 days, all the other matches ( which is maybe one a day if I'm lucky) I either get ignored, unmatched or straight up insulted and I'm coming to a point where I'm starting to really don't like girls. Which I don't want since I know that I can't blame them for not finding me attractive since it's their preferences but having not even kissed someone my entire life (I'm 22) the loneliness I feel is really starting to hurt me to a point where I feel like I will be alone for the rest of my life. You don't have to respond I just wanted somewhere to vent."
My reply:
I understand and empathise. Past experiences can definitely influence the way we view the world. I think it's really positive you don't want to generalise and hate women. That's very sensible and sane. People, regardless of genitalia, are just people.
I feel the exact same way about men. Although I haven't had many good experiences, I know that men are just people and they come in many different shapes and forms and you can't judge an entire group on the actions of a few members.
I understand that you probably needed to vent, but I would always recommend talking to a professional. I'm literally just a woman in a box. If you wanna evoke positive change, you can, with the right support.
All the best for the future. I wish you luck and I hope you can feel seen and appreciated soon.
Take care.
Comments
🍉 Might I offer thou watermelon in these trying times?
SIEGFREED
2023-08-19 07:46:34 +0000 UTCYo I'm the guy who wrote the message. While I sometimes sympathise with people who calls themselves incels since i struggle alot aswell with feeling invisible I can't blame nor hate all women simply because some of them don't find me attractive. I've never thought myself ugly but I'm very overweight and I personally would not find that attractive either and that is something I can and will try to change but somedays that loneliness and sadness really wants to change into anger so again I kinda understand where they are coming from. And I don't really agree with tea since I do believe that there is a difference in how men and women think and experience the world but that's a whole other topic I know that tea is just another person like me and not a trained psychiatrist( I'm already seeing one) but I sometimes like getting another perspective from others outside my family since most of the time I talk about stuff like this it usually ends in a big argument where I'm wrong for some reason ( again a whole other topic) Very grateful that she did respond and all the other positive responses here really helps so thank you everyone 😁
Wax3L
2023-08-16 10:48:22 +0000 UTCYeah, dating apps are an absolute death-trap for self-esteem and confidence. But when you realize that, apparently, if you aren't actively subscribed to any particular dating app, you're only seeing maybe 10% of the total number of people on it (and that goes both ways) it becomes clear that IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Or anybody else's. It's a lousy system people end up investing way too much emotion in (through no fault of their own), and is in no way a mark against you or your desirability.
CaliKodiak
2023-08-16 05:37:13 +0000 UTC❤️❤️❤️
Rasmus
2023-08-16 05:32:29 +0000 UTCThe main reason why I don't use dating apps it's because the fact that they're a FUCKING scam...
MyersFan57
2023-08-16 03:50:05 +0000 UTCIt is so hard. I can only recommend like others said, to make your own life fulfilling so that you can live happily single, and so when you find someone right it will be a bonus. But many times it is lonely. Tea's girlfriend audios help. :)
Paschar Araton
2023-08-16 01:58:27 +0000 UTCI feel you. More than you would ever know. The 2 hardest things in online dating 1. Choose a PFP that does not make you look like a cave man or straight up gollum. 2. What describes you best. You start questioning yourself and come to the conclusion that you don´t even know yourself.
The Loneliness
2023-08-15 22:30:43 +0000 UTC(28 y/o guy here) Been on dating apps long enough to know to not get my expectations up too high. They’re all pretty brutal and constantly looking at attractive people kinda does something to my mentality and often makes me feel as though I’m not enough. That’s not true at all, for me or anyone else here. Someone’s out there for everyone and maybe the best course of action is to look elsewhere. I would also recommend trying to get used to being on your own. Learning to love and comfort yourself is actually freeing imo. Don’t get me wrong, it’s easier said than done, but I’ve personally found myself in a better mental space since. I’ve only been in one meaningful romantic relationship and don’t really have too much experience with women, but there’s still plenty out there in the world I can enjoy on my own til I find that special someone. Sorry for the wall of text, that got a lil ranty. 😅
Steven Sanchez
2023-08-15 21:57:20 +0000 UTCI've been on dating apps for more than 5 years, but not really actively. And them getting a match roughly a day is great. I've barely ever had any, and even less of them that actually turned into a small conversation. But despite all that, it's just one thing in life. There are many more chances and ways to meet new people, even just having friends to spend time with helps against feeling lonely. I can report that I've met some really great people online, some even with whom I got really close with. Tl, dr: There's many different ways to find and meet new people. As long as you don't give up, it'll eventually turn into something wonderful. The loneliness will still be around every now and then, but I can heavily recommend focusing on the things you like and enjoy doing. Do things that make you happy. And if there aren't any currently, then there will surely be some out there. You just have to look for them ^^
Arvel
2023-08-15 20:55:01 +0000 UTCI'm 27 and have never been on dating sites or Apps because of this and due to me being legally blind. My blindness and how people treat the disabled makes me believe that no woman would seriously want to give me the time of day but I can't blame them for feeling that way. I'm glad he didn't start generalizing women and steered to some incel/manosphere nonsense.
Jeremy Knight
2023-08-15 20:43:32 +0000 UTCI really relate to the feeling of loneliness. One thing that always gets on my nerves are the videos and people on social media always in a gender vs. gender battle. Men do this, women do that. Stuff like that. Your response is perfect because it demonstrates people=people. A mindset I wish more people had.
Detective Fox 003
2023-08-15 20:42:42 +0000 UTCYep, we just have to stop that resentment from turning us into morons. Free will is a bitch, but it's every humans right. And also, yeah, dating apps can be absolutely terrifying. The last time I went on there, I cried and wanted to vomit. People really do feel they can say very strange things and it's all okay. Anyway, point being, let's continue to navigate this confusing plane with dignity and decency ;D
TeacupAudio
2023-08-15 20:42:06 +0000 UTCLoneliness does feel awful and I wish the best for them and hope things will get better.
Phoenix Brave Hideki
2023-08-15 20:40:55 +0000 UTCI feel that loneliness, prhaps at times the resentment, but brother has more courage than me to try dating apps. I hope you find peace man.
AnEmuWinningAWar
2023-08-15 20:35:08 +0000 UTC💜💜💜💜💕💞💝💌💯🌞🌟🌈💜💜💜💜
Lost Puppy
2023-08-15 20:32:51 +0000 UTCFeeling lonely sucks real bad but being alone truly isn't an awful thing and I wish we could silence that idea a bit easier in our minds.
rolotony97
2023-08-15 20:31:51 +0000 UTCOh man… loneliness feels like total trash. It’s basically rejection from the world
Camilo Iribarren
2023-08-15 20:27:29 +0000 UTC🖤
June
2023-08-15 20:25:09 +0000 UTC
