Realization

Jasper is a complicated mess, He cares for Lili but refuses to actually let her know the real him. Jasper wants to have a fresh start and shows Lili the new him! the improved him! He wants to prove he's changed yet he is secretive. What is he hiding from her? I can only say this much, he has hurt her tremendously before she lost herself within her dreams. The last day they saw each other was a day he regrets heavily.

He should of been better, acted better yet he felt he was nothing but a monster. Jasper had enough of Lili (TBA) she was so positive so optimistic no matter the situation and it was because she refuses to see reality as a big dark hole. 

He enjoyed her company yet despised her for her ability to look at the bright side. He tried to change yet felt he couldn't. Jasper doesn't want Lili to fall down the same hole he was in.  Lili was already dealing with her own personal issues and he didn't want to be a burden. Jasper wanted Lili to reach the surface even if he would drown alone.

He said horrible words he wish he could take back, sometimes in his dream he would see her in the golden flied smiling at him as he approaches and asking him to sit with her. At that moment everything felt to real the smell the vaguely sweet scent of wheat, the soft summer breeze and the cicadas flexing their muscles. 

Jasper would look at her as she tells the same stories as she does in every dream, they would laugh and she would look at him Loveling with her her hazels eyes. He never wanted this dream to end... yet Lili would begin to be swept away from her tears and slowly begins to crumble. Before Jasper could react he awakens alone in the dark. 

In Lili's dream Jasper is never safe and always in pain (TBA) he would lose himself in Limbo and faintly hear the voices of the doctors talking among themselves. Lost in limbo Jasper wonders if it would be better to just go back to reality and find another way to save Lili. But, Jasper would hear Lili's voice panicking and begging for him to return. "Don't leave me alone please..."  Jasper could never say no to her. Lili is his one true weakness. He awakens in her dream staring up at her as her hair covers him like a blanket. Jasper begins to cry golden tears because he truly is a monster.