Scott Meyer

I Still Don't Know What to Write Here

Added 2023-04-17 08:00:01 +0000 UTC

“The science torpedo went badly wrong. Prepare the funeral torpedo!”

Spoilers ahead for Picard: Season 3.

There’s an episode of the show where an away team goes to Daystrom Station; where Starfleet keeps all of its most dangerous weapons. I mention the second Genesis Torpedo in the strip. What I don’t mention is that they also have Captain Kirk’s corpse. You find out later, that also appear to have had Picard’s corpse as well.

This raises several questions.

Is part of the deal when you’re a Starfleet captain that they will hold on to your corpse for possible use as a weapon? Do they have Sulu and Archer’s bodies? Are they just waiting for Janeway and Sisko to kick off?

How do they intend to use Picard and Kirk’s corpses as weapons? I assume they’ll boil Kirk down for use as a military-grade aphrodisiac, but Picard?

If you haven’t watched the show, the first question you may have asked is how they could have Picard’s corpse if Picard is still alive and starring in the show. The answer to that one is that, as of the end of season one, the Picard we’ve been following is a sort of Picard-bot; Picard’s memories and personality downloaded into a high-tech android body that is no stronger or faster than his original body, but does have the highly advanced ability to grow old and die. Seems to me that defeats the whole purpose of downloading someone into an android. Sure, it kept him from dying right then and there, but it only put off the ol' funeral torpedo temporarily.

Now, in honor of the man whom the space station was named for, I will include a link to what I consider to be one of the greatest crazy-man monologues in film history, Doctor Richard Daystrom attempting to talk some sense into the M5 computer. Enjoy.