[Edited] Chapter 29 - A Realization

I returned to consciousness slowly, the fragments of some strange dream spinning off to the corners of my mind. I still rather vividly remembered something about a bunch of hovering pink pyramids in the sky. Then things had taken a bizarre turn, and I seemed to recall getting hot and heavy with Ahnbe of all people… while Mia watched.

Which was kind of odd, because I had no idea what the Goddess even looked like. Dreams can be funny that way, though. The subconscious often seems to have no hangups in filling in blanks it has no business fiddling with. I have had them before where I played the role of some genius scientist and spun out a brilliant equation that, while it made sense at the time, in real life I would have no way of even reading much less coming up with.

Regardless, I was a little disappointed. Things had just started getting interesting, and as ever, that was the moment the dream decided to end. I blamed my adolescence. There was no shame quite like waking up with the bedsheets glued to your junk. Guess my subconscious grew a conscience.

I was not quite ready to open my eyes, though. There were a number of points along my arms and legs that had that a certain dull ache. They were okay for now, but my intuition was telling me if I moved that would change.

Also, I was still quite erect, and I knew that if I succumbed to wakefulness completely, the pleasant sensations emanating from my crotch would subside almost immediately. So for at least a few minutes, I wanted to ‘ride the wave.’ There was a particularly nice warm breeze in the air that was feeling just about… perfect?

Wait… I could have sworn I made it back to the mansion. How could there be a breeze, much less a warm one?

That thought prompted me to crack open one eye. Once again, I was lying on my back on the central rug just under the flying-saucer chandelier. And when I rolled my head to one side, I took note of several bloodied green bandages tied to my arms. Evidently, Lynnria had tended to my wounds while I had been unconscious… with scraps from my clothes.

Where is she, anyway? I could not see her in my immediate periphery, but when I lifted my head, I found her quick enough. She was right by my legs. Scarcely a finger’s width from my exposed erection.

She looked near completely mesmerized, so focused on the length of flesh she might as well have been attempting to commit its every feature to memory. She had not even noticed me watching her yet. If I had not known better, I would have thought this her first confrontation with a man’s sex, but Mia had been so certain the girl had seen at least some action, it was difficult to dispute the Faen.

Then again, I was almost certainly the only human she had ever seen, so the sheer exoticism of it was probably the main contributor.

It was then I noticed the young laoi rocking back and forth ever so slightly. With her hands clamped rather tightly between her thighs.

You’re kidding.

Prior to my coming to this world, I had never once entertained the idea that a girl—any girl—would ever think about doing something like this. I doubted it would even occur to them. But here I was… with a girl masturbating over my only-just-recently-unconscious body.

I doubt even the lilim would… well. Okay, no. Actually, they would not have bothered with even that amount of restraint. We had long since moved past the stage of discrete carriage rides, long walks in the park, and the occasional polite exchange of chaste yet vaguely suggestive letters. No, our relationship was more akin to the open buffet in downtown Vegas.

Which is not to say that I was upset. I mean, I was little embarrassed—more for her than myself—but it was also quite flattering. And kind of hot, if I were being honest.

On impulse, I flexed my groin muscle to set my member bouncing, mostly just to see how she would react. Surprised, she sucked in a breath and held it for several seconds before allowing it to escape again in a trembling cascade, giving no indication of my being awake. She was too transfixed. A moment later, the gyration at her hips redoubled.

She seemed to like that, so obligingly, I flexed again. She gasped audibly in response, leaving her mouth open for her wanton panting. I will admit, watching the girl going at it like that—and so close to my erection—was rapidly eroding my restraint.

There is just something about a woman’s face when she is experiencing phenomenal pleasure. The strained bunching of her eyebrows, the plaintive look in her eyes, the ‘O’ of her lips, even the gentle sweep of her nose serve to magnify and enhance her beauty. It is endearing in a way that is difficult to describe.

But I was walking a knife’s edge with the girl already. Never mind allowing her to tag along and making her an a member of the party with Dolilim approval, if I allowed myself to falter, succumb to my own desires… well, I did not want to test how homicidal they could become.

Just then, Lynnria’s eyes unfocused, and she bit down hard on her lower lip to keep from squealing out her pleasure as her body began to quake with her self-wrought climax. I could feel the little puffs of air brushing against my exposed flesh from her shuddering breaths, and I had to struggle not to react. The minor stimulation was edging me something fierce, pushing me to the very limits of my self-control.

That would have given me away, though. And I would much rather hold the high ground for when she realized I was watching her. It would not do to let on that I was enjoying this, after all. Instead, I simply cocked an eyebrow and allowed a slight smirk to overcome my features.

I did not have to wait long. A scant handful of seconds later, Lynnria leaned back to enjoy the afterglow with a blissful and contented sort of smile on her lips. Until our eyes met.

I held her gaze just long enough for a bit of pink to creep up her neck before saying, “Enjoying yourself?”

“I—I—I’m sorry, Donum!” she stammered, backing away quickly. “So sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I saw it start to lift up your… your garment while you slept, and the next thing I knew I… Well, I just had to see it. A-and… I—I guess I got carried away.“

There was a beat of silence. I did not blame her exactly. There was no telling how long I had been out, so the effects of my aura were doubtlessly building within the girl. Still, my fears for what might come of this were quite real. The lilim had extremely sharp senses, after all.

“Did you touch it?”

Her flush deepened slightly at the question, and she averted her gaze. “I… I may have… poked it once. To see it wobble.” The admission was accompanied by a slight shift of her hips, and then she looked back at my still exposed member out of the corner of her eye. “It’s… quite wonderful.”

“Thank you.”

I allowed her to stare at it for a few moments longer before folding my frayed and—I noticed—significantly shorter kilt over top. A slight moan of protest escaped her at the move.

“But I think we should forget this ever happened,” I continued. “If my mates find out… well, they’re almost certain to treat you quite aggressively at first. We don’t want to give them any more excuses to hurt you.”

Lynnria snorted dismissively. “I’m not afraid.” Then a mischievous gleam sparkled in her eye, and she began inching closer to me on her hands and knees. “Besides, how could they find out if we don’t tell them.”

Uh oh… “They’ll know.”

“How can you be so sure?” she asked, smiling. “I think you’re just playing hard to get right now, but you can’t fool me. You’re hard enough to burst.”

I sighed. She was not wrong. And if I had been in this situation just a few weeks ago—prior to folding Jax and Arx into my life—I probably would have been eager to let her do whatever she wanted with me. Even now, it was more than tempting despite my misgivings, but I was hardly a bumbling, desperate virgin anymore. That lack lent me a great deal of necessary perspective.

“Lynnria… I won’t lie. I probably would enjoy it.”

She grinned and began reaching toward my rather prominent ‘tent.’ However, before she could make contact, I grabbed her wrist, wincing as the move sent a sharp stab of pain from my wounds up my arm. Still, I held her there, if only barely. I could tell she was a bit stronger than me.

“But I can assure you with every scrap of confidence I can muster that they will know. And I’m sure you would want them to have a high opinion of you when you meet them. I know I do.”

That comment caught her off-guard. For several seconds we stared at one another, and all the while her flush continued to deepen to the point I felt she ought to have steam coming out of her ears.

“Alright, then,” she said finally before jerking away. “For the sake of… harmony, I’ll play your little game. But don’t think I intend to let up.” She stood then and took a few paces away before looking over her shoulder at me. “I am fully prepared to pursue you to the ends of the world. You will be mine one day, good sir. Count on it.”

I snorted quietly as she limped away. Those were bold words for someone who had just been caught out. But at least she was being honest with her intentions. Still… does she mean as some conquest. Or hers exclusively. Either way, she was doomed to disappointment.

It was an interesting tactic, though. Who goes around just announcing their intent to win you—no matter your opinion on the issue—and then follows you around until you relent? And it was working! I had even preemptively folded her into my Clan.

Though that was more Mia’s idea than my own.

As if summoned, I heard something akin to some papers rustling. Then, Mia began muttering in my ear, “Oh bother… where did I put that thing…? Ah. Here we are.”

<ding!>

There was a flicker, and then a translucent image of the upper half of my Faen appeared as though she were standing in front of me. And without even a scrap of clothing.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” she chirped, apparently oblivious to the prior events. Or her own state of dress. “We have some upkeep to go over if you have the time.”

“Upkeep…” I repeated, not entirely certain whether she was serious.

Then, I decided I would need to sit up for this. It was going to be difficult enough to devote my full attention to conversation while her frankly glorious body was on full display… and also floating unnaturally over my head. However, the move quickly reminded me of my many injuries, and I hissed in pain.

Now that I had the chance to assess myself, I found that my left bicep, my right forearm, and my right thigh had all been hit by darts during my tumble down the stairs. I was quite tempted to mend them, but they were far from life threatening—whereas my growing hunger most assuredly would be.

Moreover, I had definitely noticed that limp in Lynnria’s gait. As the more physically inclined member of our little duo, she was going to have to stand in as my interim ‘tank.’ So until I could get some calories in me, I needed to reserve my Life Energy for her sake.

Not that any of those things were close to my most pressing concern at that particular moment.

“I think you may have forgotten something, Mia,” I said pointedly.

“Did I?” she asked with an innocent lilt. “Funny… I could have sworn I left my dress next to the bath, but when we woke up, it seems to have vanished. Along with the bath.”

I opened my mouth, then closed it just as quickly. “When we… I… I don’t… So, so many questions, Mia.”

She sighed. “And I appreciate you not asking them. But never mind. Things move around in here all the time. I’m sure I’ll find it eventually.”

There was a moment of silence. As it stretched, a look of irritation began to overcome her features until finally she gestured down at herself in disgust.

“Well?”

I blinked a few times before I understood what she was getting so upset about. “You’re kidding. Mia…” I paused to glance toward Lynnria. She was far enough away now not to overhear. Not that I minded so much, but there are some things you simply do not share in mixed company. “You’re nearly the spitting image of Bline, one of the most exquisite… beings I’ve ever laid eyes on. I can barely conceive of anyone more beautiful. You can’t seriously need me to tell you that.”

She harrumphed. “There is a difference between need and want. Still, I am not a goddess. I have lost more than you can possibly imagine. Were She to appear before you, I’m certain there would be little comparison left in your mind.”

I shrugged helplessly. “There wouldn’t be much of anything left in my mind.”

“True,” she allowed before turning to one side.

The move sent a slight yet hypnotic sway through her breasts, and I had to force myself to look at her face—coincidentally reminding me of Lynnria’s earlier embarrassment. I might have been judging the girl too harshly.

“So then,” she continued with a bit of a knowing smirk, “you find me pleasing, but not overwhelmingly so. I suppose I’ll have to be content with that. Still, I would at least like to know how I compare to your erstwhile lover.”

I sighed, not the least of which because I…was not entirely sure who she was referring to. She could not possibly be talking about Lynnria. Mia had to know she was far more enticing than the young laoi—despite the girl’s frank pursuit—so I doubted she would bother with that comparison. But for my lilim… it was difficult to judge.

Maybe it was something about her translucency—some implicit facet of her not being in the here and now—but for some reason, I felt that if I were to set them side-by-side, my lilim would win out. I could not tell you why, though. There was absolutely nothing deficient in Mia’s appearance, but somehow the simple lack of physicality set her behind.

The best I could describe it would be by comparing a photograph of a supermodel to the real thing. Sure, a picture can be airbrushed to an unrealistic standard, but there is just something about the immediacy of standing in front of a breathtaking woman that a picture simply cannot replicate. Something that leaves your mouth dry, and sets your heart to pounding in your chest.

But that might not have been the fairest comparison. Jax and, to a lesser but growing extent, Arx held a special place in my heart that Mia had yet to occupy. So I was most assuredly biased.

Still, I was hardly going to say that to her. And it was far better to be clear as to what we were talking about first.

“You’re going to need to narrow that down slightly, Mia.”

“Narrow it down?” She chuckled incredulously. “Why you cheeky devil. The one from just a moment ago, of course. Exactly how many goddesses have you had wrapped around your waist?”

I blinked a few times in confusion. From just a moment ago? Goddesses? I glanced at Lynnria. I mean… she was okay, but she was hardly goddess material. But perhaps she had meant that in the literal sense? I decided to go with that option. “Just… the one technically. I think. But I told you, She blinded me when we met, so I have no idea what Ahnbe looks like.”

She tilted her head to one side and stared at me. “Not then!” she shouted, exasperated. “In the dream fabric! Not ten minutes ago?”

“The dream—“ I blinked. Then my eyes began to goggle. “You saw that?”

“Of course, I—take me like an animal!” Her teeth clicked closed, and she took a steadying breath. “What kind of question is that? I was standing right next to you the entire time. I even… well that is, we almost…” She trailed off, clearly flustered.

“Oh, no…” I groaned, quite certain that my face was every bit as ablaze with shame as hers was at that moment. Then the rest of what she had said began to sink in. “Wait, standing right next to me? You weren’t just watching then? Does that mean you can somehow… participate in my dreams?”

She firmed her lip and began twitching her head from side to side.

“Oh… sorry. That was three at once. I didn’t mean—“ But before I could finish, her dam burst.

“Yes, you giant penis! Whale dick! Of course, I can. I—whore! Whore mouth!—I literally live inside your head. You should be more surprised if I didn’t—lick your ass—b-become ensnared within your dream fabric. Why are you even asking this? Any of us—sluts—can and apparently do much the same. There were half a dozen—cum dumpsters—in there last night! How can you—” She froze mid-tirade as though she had just realized something. “You don’t remember. You never remember.”

“What? Dreams?” I asked, bewildered… though that might have had a lot to do with her many unintended asides. “Mostly not, no.”

“That… should not be,” she muttered, ignoring me. “The geas was removed. Nothing should be interfering with your memories anymore.”

“‘Geas?’ You mean that thing you pulled out of my head? You still haven’t fully explained about that, by the way,” I said, prompting her, but when it was clear she had no intention of elaborating, I continued. “Either way, I don’t understand why this is surprising. Hardly anybody remembers dreams.”

Her eyes jumped up to mine aghast, before a slow comprehension began to dawn on her features. “Alien. The foreigner.”

The conversation felt like it had abruptly skipped the rails on me, but that was something I was becoming used to when dealing with entities like Mia. So I just nodded along. Best to keep her talking. “Right. I told you that.”

“Yes, but I did not understand,” she said absently. “You are… separate. Entirely separate. Yet, you are here. Does that mean…? No, we cannot have, else you would not be here.” She sighed with regret and flicked her wrist in dismissal. “It changes nothing. My instinct cannot be wrong.”

“Uh… yeah. Not following.”

She chuckled ruefully. “Of that at least, I have little doubt. Donum, you walk through the fabric as chaos given life. I have never seen anything like it, and for a long while, I had thought you broken. But I see now, you are not. It is your genuine nature.”

I just stared at her. Chaos given life? What kind of gobbledygook is that? “We aretalking about dreams though, right? Aren’t everyone’s like that?”

“No. They’re—scrotum sweat!” She flinched at her own outburst, apparently annoyed at her inability to maintain a sombre mood. With a delicate clearing of her throat, she continued, “They are not. And when those of the kinds have them, they remember them just as you might a common workday.”

I pursed her lips thoughtfully while digesting that information. I mean, it was… interesting. But what was I supposed to do with it? It was not like I had any control over my subconscious. Nor could I see any real benefit to having perfect recall of dreams. What pieces of my own I could recall were little better than complete nonsense.

“Donum,” she murmured quietly. “How much of the dream do you remember? You were clearly embarrassed, so you must recall something.”

I shook my head. “Not really. It’s just muddled images… more impressions than anything.”

“But you remember holding Ahnbe in your arms? The way She was kissing you?” she persisted. “Could you describe Her?”

“I mean… I have a vague notion of what happened,” I said, struggling to recollect anything at all about the encounter. “But to describe her? Not really.”

“What about your own actions? Do you have control—“ She paused to reconsider. “Or no. I suppose that wouldn’t matter. Even if you do have control of yourself, you wouldn’t recall what you had done after you awakened.”

I nodded. Again, I could not see why this was so important, but at least it seemed to be leaded somewhere. I would take what I could get. “Where I’m from, some people claim you can train yourself to remember and eventually control them. I’ve never bothered, though.”

“Why not?” she asked intently.

“More interested in getting a good night’s rest, I guess,” I replied with a shrug. “Besides, I wouldn’t want to remember all of them. Not all dreams are nice ones.”

“Yours aren’t, that’s certain,” she said seriously. “I’ve never seen a Clan that could field great hovering geometric-crafts like that, much less attempted to clash against them in battle. And all in shades of pink? Absolutely revolting.”

I blinked. “Say again?”

She made a dismissive gesture. “Never—stop tonguing my clit! Ahem… never mind, I mean. The point is Ahnbe’s supposed Claim on you rests on a very tenuous foundation. Recall what you told me before… or told Bline, rather. Why did Ahnbe do what She did? Why was she interested in you?”

“Something about an offering,” I filled in. “She said I had seduced her.”

“Right. But She cannot have made initial contact with you save for within the fabric…” She trailed off expectantly.

“I seduced Her in my sleep?!”I groaned. “Watcher’s black eye… no wonder! That makes so much more sense now.” I fell silent for a moment as I thought over the implications. But then I had to eventually toss my hands up. “I still can’t see what difference it makes. I mean, what am I supposed to do about it? It’s not like any of the other goddesses are going to intercede on my behalf would they?”

“You are probably right, though Maeve is ever one for a sympathetic ear. And my other half almost certainly would have had She known prior to—fucking herself right in the ass!” She let out a resigned sigh before dipping her head to one side, apparently deciding to let her outburst stand as it was. Then one corner of her lip curled up, and a scheming twinkle lit her eyes. “However, my aim was not to suggest you attempt some futile struggle against Ahnbe. Quite the opposite. She could eventually be made a formidable ally… if you can bring Her to heel.

“Bring Her to heel?!” I repeated incredulously. “To say nothing of the fact that She could snap me in half like a twig—“

“She won’t,” Mia assured me. She seemed quite confident of that.

“Maybe not on purpose,” I allowed, grudging. “Even so, She can and has injured my lilim out of petty jealousy. She tossed Jax into a river over half a mile away! That alone makes Her no friend of mine.”

Mia furrowed her brow and stared at me for several long seconds. “Donum…” she began slowly. “I realize She may have bungled a few things, but do not be so hasty to spurn Her advances. She… may not take it well.”

I snorted. “You don’t have to worry about that. I’m a lot of things but suicidal is not one of them.”

Mia made to argue the point, but then she seemed to reconsider and nodded. “Still… I never even considered that you might cast Her aside over your lilim. I doubt She will have either.”

“I don’t see why not,” I replied. “Bullying the people I love is no way to win me over.”

She made humming sound deep in her throat. “And you don’t love Her?”

“I barely know Her.”

“But She’s a goddess.”

I blinked in confusion. “I don’t see how that enters into it.”

“You don’t see how near limitless power and incomparable beauty might be a factor?” she asked, incredulous. “Interesting. Well then… since those things aren’t important to you, I wonder what is. Simple conversation? A few teasing remarks? By that metric, even I would rate above Her…”

“That goes without saying,” I replied before I had time to consider the implications. But from the grin spreading over her face, it was abundantly clear that she had not missed them.

“Well then… I may have just discovered a fascinating new hobby,” she said before swiping a pen from somewhere and writing a note. Which she helpfully recited. “Project: Remembering… Dreams…”

I blinked. “Uh…”

“Now,” she said briskly. “Let’s take a look at your skill-ups, shall we?”

*****

Mia went over my mundane skills with me in excruciating detail. I zoned out for the most part, only really tuning in for the more interesting highlights. It had been quite a while since I had last checked any of them, so some of it was a bit surprising.

For instance, my Seduction skill had been getting quite a workout. Not that I had been actively trying, of course. My goal—specifically with Lynnria—had been entirely counter to that. At least initially. And it sort of still was. But more of in a keep-her-at-arm’s-length kind of way. Still, with my very specific skill load-out combined with the girl’s own natural inclinations, I had been consistently failing upward, so to speak. As a result, I was on the cusp of becoming a Competent Seduction artist.

I had no doubt Arx would be overjoyed. Getting me to flirt better had been one of her pet projects when we had first met, after all.

On the more exciting front, I had managed to unlock a couple of new skills. The coolest one was doubtlessly Flight. According to Mia, that was not a skill I had any natural access to, but since I had purchased that levitation spell from her, I now had the opportunity to practice it at my leisure. And I intended to.

The other skill-unlock was Safe Fall which, as the name implied, was the ability to fall while minimizing injury to yourself. And while it was nice to have, I just wished I could gain a skill like that without looking like a total idiot in the process. Cartoonish antics had a tendency to leave bruises. If someone ever bothered to write my biography, I had little doubt the title would be something like, The Subtle Art of the Pratfall: The Life of a Muppet.

Most of the rest of my skill improvements had to do with non-combat related activities with the main contenders drawing heavily from participating in casual conversations, traveling over large distances, and… well, sex to be blunt. Given my situation, I would have been surprised had I not, but the sheer number of sub-categories was a little much.

Also, having Mia gleefully read them out to me, all while struggling not to giggle like a cheerleader over a stolen love letter was not doing great things for my composure.

“Seated Reverse: 12. Standing Reverse… 9? Oh, we need some practice on that one, I think.” She paused to scribble something down in her notes. “Uh, let’s see… Standing Leg-Hoist: 14—“

I cleared my throat. Loudly. “I think I get the idea, Mia.”

“Aww…” She pouted. “But I was just about to get to the Oral section.”

“Skip it.”

“Breast fondl—“

“Skip that part, too.”

“What about clitoral stimulation? Surely you want to know—“

“Skip.”

“Sensual Massage?”

“Look, can we just get to my spells?”

“But Sensual Massage—makes me want to fuck—would pair wonderfully with The Hammer of Glory. I really think you should work on—“

“Mia, please…”

She sighed. “Oh, fine. Spoilsport. Here.”

With that, she held up a large, blue posterboard for me to peruse.

I immediately noted with some consternation that I had left my sole defensive ability turned off, and with a surreptitious flick of a mental switch, I toggled Forgotten in Stillness back on. I was just lucky that my girls were still incapacitated, or I would have never heard the end of it. Also, there was the whole protecting-me-from-monsters thing, but that went without saying.

Mental note: always check your passives.

That done, I began skimming over the rest. There were few major jumps in ability that I could see, though my handy see-in-the-dark spell was beginning to rapidly out pace most of the others. When I first bought the thing, I never thought it would see so much more usage than the rest, though it should not have been surprising.

There is a reason blacksmiths spend most of their time making simple tools and nails, after all. Swords and armor have their own special romance, but they are nowhere near as useful as your basic, everyday hammer.

Even so, the spell could not compete in terms of skill-ups with Windfall of the Thrall, the ‘always-on’ aura I had foolishly purchased which constantly ramped up both my companions’ luck and their sex drives. And since I could not turn it off, it was getting a near constant work-out. So that was understandable.

Meanwhile, Detonating Sap Varnish—by far my most devastating ‘attack’ spell and a personal favorite—was languishing barely out of the single digits, only just above Lust Transfer… Mark II. Ugh… It still grated on me that such an extremely situational ability had gotten the upgrade treatment, but that milk was long spoiled.

That only left one other item of note.

“Oh, yeah,” I remarked. “The Hammer ticked over into Low Intermediate. Almost forgot about that. Never did get a notice about what that was supposed to do.” There had been a certain something different to it the last time I had used it, though. Like it was less unwieldy?

Mia blinked once before glancing down at the card. “Oh. I guess you’re right. Drat. I was meaning to prepare that.”

“Nobody’s perfect,” I assured her. “You can just tell me what that improves if you’d like.”

She sniffed. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. One more thing I’ll have to get used to. Anyway, besides a general sense of increased control, you should be able to increase or dampen its effects, allowing for more subtle applications. And it is slightly less resistible by unbound entities, allowing you to more easily improve your influence over them.”

“Uh… huh. I’m not sure how I feel about that last bit,” I admitted. “You make it sound kind of creepy.”

She only shrugged, unconcerned. “It is a tool like any other. If you do not want to use it that way, you do not have to.”

I sighed. That seemed reasonable enough. Although, it would certainly make me a lot more comfortable if I could lock that particular tool into a convenient gun cabinet somewhere.

It was about that time that Lynnria came limping back.

“Donum, I’ve found something you should see.”