October 2025 - Nearing the End of My Break

Just as a reminder, to higher tier patrons, get your suggestions in before 6 PM EST tomorrow, and all Patrons should vote in the poll before 6 PM EST tomorrow as well.

I've been sitting on my feelings during this break. While I'm nowhere near fixed, I feel somewhat better, but at the same time somewhat conflicted. I've noticed I've long since stopped feeling like I was making art for art's sake, that I was driven by chasing the algorithm and people's interests. I still am. I'm confused as to what people might want to see. Sometimes I see someone else draw a character, a popular character, that I want to draw, only to see they did it ten to twenty times better. I wonder if it's because I draw too fast? Like, I have a quick turn over time? Sometimes I think it might be better to not post comms at all, or space out my illustrations by a week instead of every 2-4 days. I'm just rambling at this point though.

I want to mention that I'm not perfectly back to the way I was before. I'm still struggling mentally. While I have been peaking through social media, I've made it a conscious effort to minimize my doom scrolling. There's a bad balance between staying informed and staying sane that I can't seem to cross at the very moment. I either have to cut my intake of the news completely out, or listen/read about current day events and get caught in a depressive slump. This impacts my ability to do art just as much as my mental struggles. Speaking of, this break has at least given me a few bits of clarity in between the mayhem. There's been some days where I've woken up and done some things that I've needed to do around my living space, which has benefit my mental standing. Of course, this is something I'm going to have to relearn to balance when I get back into the swing of art. You'll notice I tried getting back into the swing by finishing a couple pieces. I've actually got another in the back burner centered around Lillith and Pluto again, but I don't know when I'm gonna finish that.

Thank you to everyone who expressed their concerns about me. I think I'm ready to tackle October.