Pilot Chapter 3: Cookie
Added 2026-01-09 23:14:28 +0000 UTCAfternoon everyone!
Here is the third option for the upcoming vote on what my next story will be.
A couple of notes on this one:
I changed the name of the antagonist. I mentioned that all names and story titles were subject to change, and I soured on the name Ramon.
This story is a bit darker in theme that some of my more recent stories, which you can get a sense of in this sample chapter. If that is a factor in your enjoyment, take note of that for the upcoming vote!
I wasn't sure whether to make Oscar more of an ugly bastard type, or a suave and handsome villain. As you can see, I went with the smooth handsome type, because I feel like I've been going back to the Ugly Bastard well fairly often recently, but if you feel strongly that he would work better as a rougher and less attractive man, it's not too late to change. Let me know in the comments!
I found this sample a challenge, because the final story is intended to be a slow burn psychological corruption, and it is difficult to give a sense of that in a short chapter. I did my best to show a tipping point while hinting at the slow mind games, but keep in mind it is hard to portray that in a short work.
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!
Comments
Handsome guy works for me. I like the premise but I'm not sure how I would end this tale.
MikeM
2026-01-15 18:17:38 +0000 UTCI really enjoy this one, handsome guy works for me
Lexxy
2026-01-14 15:57:43 +0000 UTC
