Tale #59: Breaking Resolutions

Tale #59: Breaking Resolutions (Content Tags: Supernatural/surreal situation, supernatural entity, weight gain, intelligence loss, age regression, pottytraining loss, messy undies, messy diapers, kind of silly.) New Years resolutions. Every year you make them, and every year you break them. It's a vicious cycle of romanticizing what feels like a fresh start and then crumbling under the weight of those actual expectations. There are noble goals of self-improvement contained within them, but they are a shallow, pretty little lie. Some people promise themselves that they'll follow their diet this time, or that they'll stop smoking, but no matter the objective, the commitment is always half-baked and half-hearted. Sure, they'll go through the motions for the first few weeks of the new year, but old habits die hard, and by February, they are back on whatever wagon they'd started on. The resolutions are too nebulous, too ambitious, and lacking any manner of accountability. It is but the arrogant frivolity of the species, and the road to failure is lined with self-apologetic delusions. It isn't *your* fault that things didn't pan out, and there's always next year. And the next year. And the next year... But what if there *was* accountability? What if breaking your resolutions came with grave results? Perhaps the stick is more persuasive than the carrot, and if not, then the next year's resolutions will surely have become much more humble. *"I'm going to do better in school, so my report cards don't look so crappy. I'm going to diet and lose some weight. I'm going to be nicer to my little sister. I'm going to shower more. I'm going to stop wetting the bed."* The many changes that Skyler promised to himself on the first day of January, what hope did he have to see them through? How many of these resolutions would be broken by the end of the month? The thirteen year old had thoroughly enough analyzed his faults at the end of last year, and it sounded so easy to say that he'd turn it all around during the new year. To his credit, he didn't give up immediately. Skyler did some running and ate better, he was more mature with handling his bratty sister, he was cutting down on fluids before bed, and once school had started back up, he was studying and doing his homework on time. But his steam didn't take long to start running out, and apathy was a beast that preyed on weak wills. One day while in the kitchen, he passed over some carrot sticks and instead reached for the box of cookies in the pantry. He could cheat, right? He'd been good and it'd only be this one time... "That's not very healthy, is it?" A voice suddenly spoke to him from behind. Skyler whipped around and gawked at the sight of a small, impish boy that was floating in the air. "W-what the hell! Who are *you*?!" The cherubic looking being smiled and folded his arms; little wings on his back allowed him to flutter in place, and a cloth garment that looked suspiciously like a diaper, was wrapped tautly around his waist. "I'm the baby of the new year." "Baby New Year? Like, from the cartoon? Or claymation, I guess? With the giant ears?" The cherub narrowed his eyes in irritation, "No, not like that. I represent the rebirth that everyone gets when an old year is over and a new one has begun. I represent the chance for change, for improvement!" Skyler still looked confused, but the ethereal intruder at least wasn't frightening. How could a flying toddler be anything to be scared of? "Okay...Well, um, why are you in my kitchen?" There was a small puff of smoke and a scroll appeared in the cherub's hands. "Because you made several lofty goals for yourself, and it looks like you were about to start breaking one. Breaking a resolution is like breaching a contract." "A contract? What are you talking about? Everyone makes resolutions...They just don't all go the way we plan. Besides, a couple of cookies aren't going to ruin my diet." Skyler balked, raising an eyebrow. "Resolutions are meant to be kept. If you can't keep them, then you shouldn't have made them in the first place. A cookie here or there might not completely ruin one of them, but I also see that you're still wetting the bed? And have you done your homework for tomorrow yet?" The boy's face got pink at the mention of such personal matters. "N-not everything changes all at once! I'm pacing myself! Besides, what about everyone else that breaks their resolutions? Or all the other years that I didn't follow through? Why now?" "You were randomly selected for an accountability audit." Was the matter-of-fact response he got. "...An audit? What's an audit?" The scroll poofed away and was replaced by a clipboard and a pen that the tot tapped against it. "I'm going to be keeping track of your resolutions. If I see that you aren't maintaining them, then there will be penalties for your breach of contract." "You're just going to hang around for the whole year? Stalking me?" The angelic accountant shook his head and tapped the clipboard again,"No. I'll conclude my investigation by the end of the month." "...I'm going to go tell my parents about this." Skyler started to walk away, but the tot flew right up to his face to stop him. "You can't tell anyone about me or the audit." "Oh yeah? Just watch me. My dad's got a fly swatter just big enough for flying babies and I bet--" The cherub interrupted, "No, I mean *literally* you can't tell anyone. If you try, it'll just come out as something else." Skyler glared and stormed off, with the full intention that he'd come back with pest control to handle the buzzing brat. He was quick to realize that the baby hadn't lied to him; as much as he tried to talk to his parents about his descent into absurdity, he simply couldn't. The words were right on his tongue and on his mind, but they wouldn't come out from his mouth. Instead he talked inane nonsense about sports or school. So it turned out that the little runt had been honest, which also meant that Skyler would need to use a little more caution with keeping his resolutions for the next few weeks. It was January 10th, which meant he just needed to last twenty-one more days without giving in to his impulses! Three weeks of concentration and willpower, and then he'd be golden! But it was only getting more difficult for him to maintain, even with the supposed accountability that the stupid baby was providing. Skyler didn't fully catch on at first what the penalties were either; it appeared that they started small and would only reach full blast once his resolution was considered fully broken. Cheating on his diet put a little more pudge on his tummy; Getting rude with his sister made him very slowly start to switch ages with her; Not taking his schooling seriously was depleting his IQ, and each wet bed in the morning was causing his overall continence to degrade. A week after the audit had started: Skyler was fifteen pounds heavier, a year younger, a grade level dumber, and he was starting to have little dribbling accidents in his pants. He was aware that *something* didn't seem right, but he couldn't peg what exactly it was. He only really began to understand when he pooped his pants while riding his bike. His bowel control had begun to diminish too, which was a step too far for the boy; there had almost been no warning for it either, he'd just been riding back home from his friend's house and a big mushy log had crammed itself into his underpants. Skyler cleaned himself up in secret, but then it happened a couple more times over the following days, and he was piddling on himself more frequently too. Then one morning, he woke up with a badly pooed pair of soggy Goodnites on, and there at the foot of his bed was the clipboard-wielding toddler again. "Mhm, I think we can go ahead and mark *this* resolution as broken." The cherub claimed, starting to write something on the clipboard. "H-huh? What do you mean?" "It means that you'll have the full penalty applied now. A broken resolution is serious business, so..." The tot snapped his fingers, and the loaded Goodnite suddenly morphed into an equally soiled diaper. "No more pottytraining. Guess we match now, huh?" Skyler quickly found out how serious the accountant was; his underwear drawer was completely replaced with puffy, colorfully printed padding and everyone acted as though he'd always been potty-impaired. The stress of now being a diaper boy would be the strain that made the rest of his resolutions crumble, one by one. His little sister was making fun of him more openly, especially whenever he took a big smelly dump in his diapers, so he was butting heads with her more ruthlessly. Each immature tussle they got into was switching their age more and more; he quickly went from thirteen to barely ten, and she'd gone from seven to being ten as well. His dirty diapers and diminishing age was also affecting his focus at school, and making him less engaged with the work. He should have been better off here, since with his age lowering, the school work of the younger grades should be easier, but it seemed more petty and he hadn't seen penalties from slacking on it. The penalties from his academic resolution was more difficult to see, since his IQ was lowering at such a gradual level, but two weeks in and he was really starting to struggle with the fourth grade work that he should be effortlessly succeeding in. His only outlet for the stress of it all was sweets, which themselves were adding to his chubby frame at a magically disproportionate rate. The rest of his resolutions were bending toward being fully broken now; he may have a week left before the end of the audit, which should have been a short enough period to pull things together for, but then he really started to hit the wall. Skyler had been watching some Saturday morning cartoons and eating a big plate of syrup-soaked waffles; his flabby tummy hung over the waistband of his bulky diaper, and his pajamas were one size too small now (due to the waffles in his hand) to effectively hide his padding. His sister came to commandeer the TV from him, to watch whatever stupid girly show that *she* wanted, but Skyler wasn't ready to so easily relinquish the remote to the bratty girl. "I'm watching a new episode, you'll have to wait until I'm done. Besides, I got here first." He stated, doing his best to keep things civil, since he didn't want to damage his resolution any further. "I don't wanna watch a stupid show like this! Just give me the remote, you big stupid *baby*." The girl hit on all his newfound failings at once. They were in the same grade now, but Skyler was known at the class dunce for how much he was struggling with their lessons, to the point that he was easily going to have to repeat the grade or get knocked down one. Then there were the more obvious cracks about his heft and the plus-sized Huggies around his waist... "Don't call me that! I'm not a baby, you're a baby!" Skyler lamely retorted. "I'm not the one who still wears diapers, or the one about to have to go back to third grade." "Why you little--" Skyler growled, furrowing his brow at the girl, but he was interrupted by a loud sloppy fart that powerfully sputtered into his diaper. "Is the big dumb baby about to make his morning mudpie?" His sister snidely teased, smirking smugly at his display. "N-NO! I'M NOT--" **BBBBLLLAAAART! CRACKLE! PLOP!** Skyler leaned a little forward on the couch and got red in the face as his bowels unleashed a massive sticky loaf into the backside of his puffy pamps. The diaper rustled and crinkled as it expanded to accommodate the warm girth of the pole protruding, and the boy had to squint an eye shut in the strain of pushing it out. "Haha, eww! Baby made an uh-oh!" She teased, pinching her nose for emphasis. "Guess that means he needs a diapee change and I get the remote!" "S-SHUT UP, TIFFANY! You're... You're... An annoying BRAT!" Time suddenly stood still for everything except Skyler himself. The cherub poofed in front of him with a disappointed look on his face. The self-righteous tot clicked his pen menacingly, "I think we can go ahead and mark this resolution a loss too. Can't even make it the last week without being mean to your little sister, huh? Well, *big* sister I guess..." Skyler was going to defend his actions, but the cherub was already snapping his fingers, and the boy noticed himself shrinking again. He wound up at her original age of seven, while she grew into his original age of thirteen, fully cementing their switch in the sibling pecking order. The cherub then took a look at the half-eaten stack of waffles and clicked his tongue. "...I think we can mark *that* resolution off too. You're not really following a diet at all, if you're pigging out on stuff like that still." Another snap of his fingers and Skyler's weight made the final transformation. Up until this point, he'd just been a little chubby from his penalties, but now he was undeniably overweight; he was *fat*. His pajamas and his poopy diaper grew in size to match the new reality of his tubby gut, and his new size seemed to cause him more uncontrollable flatulence than before. "You only have one resolution left to keep, Skyler. You're dangerously close to breaking it, and you still have six days until I'm through with my audit. You better not have any more screw-ups at school, or you'll reach your full penalty..." Being reduced back to first grade was good for his diminished IQ, since it was stuff that he finally felt more than smart enough to deal with, but it also meant that his peers were even more immature and mean-spirited than they had been in the fourth grade. His lack of toileting prowess and his husky frame did little to ingratiate himself to the little demons. Little by little, his IQ took more abuse, until he was hardly even fit for first grade in the first place. The first test of the school year, a very simple addition and subtraction test, was his final stand to make before the audit would be over. If he passed it, then he could at least hang on to one little scrap of his dignity, but if not, then he would be at the mercy of the cherub's petty penalties. 'Thirteen minus six...' Skyler narrowed his eyes at the problem on the page before him, and then his gut gurgled ominously from the large lunch he'd earlier enjoyed in the cafeteria. The boy leaned to one side in his seat and let a fart ripple in his diaper, without even really thinking about it, which made the other students turn in their seat to gawk at him. He couldn't self-correct at this point. No, he just had to go further; so he pushed down on his bowels with a grunt, and a wet rumble announced the deposit of a soft, mushy payload into his pants. He could feel the warm mess spreading to every corner within the bulky diaper, accelerated by the repeated flatulence that propelled the pile. "Ewwww! Skyler is POOPING!" One of his classmates shouted, causing the rest of the children to burst into uproarious laughter. His teacher didn't look happy, and it was looking like Skyler may not be allowed to continue his test, since he'd be waddling off to the special ed room to get his dirty butt changed by a teacher that had signed up for such a duty. On the way there, time again stopped and the Cherub returned to chastise the subject of his investigation. "Tsk, tsk...Couldn't even keep *one* resolution." "I tried! But I had to poopie!" "Yes, I can *smell* that. Unfortunately, rules are rules, Skyler. On the plus side, I'm betting your resolutions next year will be a lot more attainable in scope." With a snap of his fingers, and one final poof away from the boy's life, the cherub was gone. The penalty he'd left for the pantsfiller was obvious as the drool and boogers freely hanging on his face. He'd made it to the special ed room, but not just for a change, but to stay for now on. He was just a big, dumb, stinky baby. Better luck on changing that next year.