Episode 823: The Anti-Social Century
Added 2025-02-20 02:35:43 +0000 UTCComments
When I started my actual career my friend group dropped to zero. It was work, haul kids around to sports and activities, go home too tired and too late to eat a solid dinner, wake up and do it all again in the morning. This is all too common. Recently, we’ve cultivated intentional socialization. We’re regularly attending our Democratic Party meetings in a red state. It all takes effort and commitment, but I am glad we have done it. It’s not the “default state” for a guy in my position, though. Default is work your ass off, be a taxicab for your kids, consume alcohol and pass out in front of Faux News. That’s what “everyone does.” I am one of the “weird” ones who is working toward a different vision, and it’s hard. It’s so worth it, though. It takes recognizing, “Hey, this is NOT GOOD!” Default is NOT healthy! We’re finally making grown up friends, in our 40’s. It’s about 8x harder than when I was a kid. It’s easier to just curl up on the couch and watch streaming services - I gave up social media several years ago.
Driller32
2025-02-21 17:33:41 +0000 UTCI ignored FB for the most part, and occasionally posted. When Zuckerberg went down on his knees to suck off the messiah-god-king, I almost deleted my account, but I had already did myself in. I like to draw and to get back into it, I bought a Discworld calendar and each day I draw a little something and had started posting it on FB. Just before I scorched earthed my account, my wife asked, "Hey! What are all these little pictures you keep posting?" So I told her. And I kept the damn account. It's about 90-97% algorithm suggesting a million groups to join, with the occasional friend's post interrupting the flow. So I just post my little pic and get out of there. I actually managed to get rid of all the ads by clicking "Don't show me."
Asymetra
2025-02-21 04:47:11 +0000 UTCAt work, some years back, we formed a "breakfast club." We would pick a date and place and meet up for breakfast. It waxed and waned over the years. People move on. We change work schedules. After a couple of years lapse, I started it back up again. I'll select a date, ask 1-3 people, and we meet up. It's always an enjoyable experience.
Asymetra
2025-02-21 04:31:45 +0000 UTCTalking with a coworker, one thing we're grateful for is we cannot take my work home. So, we will never get texts about work, and rarely hear from them at all. My coworker's fiancé will get a text at 10PM and has to pause the movie and respond to it because it's work related. 1. It interrupts their time together. 2. That's free labor. It seems like GenX and Millennials is about where work-life balance peaked. Our parents were loyal to the company (the Company Man archetype), even as the company wasn't loyal to them. From Zoomers onward, the wage stagnation has gotten so bad that they have to work multiple jobs, live with their parents, and are less likely to get into long-term committed relationships because they don't have time. What we are experiencing now is exactly what the Luddites were experiencing at the boom of the Industrial Revolution. Factories were breaking up families. The gov't and the wealthy ignored their pleas to use their great wealth to ease the transition into a new way of life. They weren't against technology or progress, they were against destroying the family and wrecking the fabric of society. But, hey. Capitalism is the best thing ever, so we all have to make that sacrifice. Won't someone please think of the wealthy?!
Asymetra
2025-02-21 04:27:43 +0000 UTCI share your experience with leaving Facebook. Life is simply better without it. I have substituted time with my kids, or even just driving to drive. I do find that certain news, like the recent passing of a friend, only appears on the platform. I have family who watch it for me, though. Cost vs benefit? Easily, ditching Meta is better than keeping it. I commend you on making what sounds like a wise choice for yourself.
Driller32
2025-02-20 23:05:11 +0000 UTCI always wonder if it's less about isolation and more about being unable to tolerate your own company. Those people always seem to be the most unhappy.
Tara Churchill
2025-02-20 15:21:03 +0000 UTCI enjoyed the discussion, thank you. I kicked Facebook to the curb around 8 years ago now, and I genuinely think it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. This might only apply to me, but I was constantly embroiled in arguments with multiple people, seeing posts from others that, at best, would lead to my having a fleeting positive thought and, at worst, would stick with me and make me feel bad for one reason or another. As you guys have said: engagement sells. Unfortunately, the easiest ways for companies like Meta to get us to spend more time on their platform so they can sell more ads and mine our data is to engage us with the negative; to keep us fighting and feeling bad. I came to believe that Facebook and similar social networks were the digital equivalent of a mental disorder we give ourselves so I pried myself away and haven’t looked back. From a maturity and growth standpoint, not to mention the mental health perspective, it was probably the one of the best decisions of my life. I will say, I do view myself as an introvert; spending time with people (even people I like) saps me of energy rather than recharges me. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy my time out, it’s just not something that can sustain itself for me. I don’t think that has changed much in my near decade since leaving almost all forms of social media, but I have definitely felt other benefits.
M R
2025-02-20 04:09:51 +0000 UTC
