My Cage "Classic" 08/12/07

Thank you for sharing both your story, and Kate and Becky Beaton's.

My Cage

I have a close friend from college who was always strikingly beautiful. I was very used to guys who didn't even acknowledge me giving her avid attention. But while I had the occasional pang (as when, say, she borrowed a swimsuit and looked so much more amazing in it than I did), mostly it drove home to me how being that pretty is a hell of a romantic hazard. In junior high I'd had a cousin take away my glasses once while we were at the mall and refuse to return them so that like her I could "pick up a hot guy" while we were there (haha no this did not work). Wandering bored (I could no longer see well enough to window-shop) and hungry (no we couldn't stop for a CinnaBon! We were on a mission!) was perhaps the beginning of me developing a strong awareness that a guy who ruled me out for my looks (they're fine. Nerd-cute) was one to pass on. And all the more so if he didn't think I was worth acknowledging because I wasn't hot. I'm pretty grateful I was able to develop my filter for jerky guys at a much slower pace and without it having a fire hose aimed at it. While it would have been nice to dazzle some of the boys I had unrequited crushes on (perfectly nice people who just didn't develop an interest in me beyond the friendly), I didn't envy her in any kind of sustained way. It's nice to be easily confident that what a guy is drawn to is your personality and when no one is trying to game their way into your life. She had boyfriends starting at 13 and met the romantic milestones (being taken on dates!) that I was insecure and disappointed about being left behind on, but she also had a lot of experiences with guys being callous or disrespectful--mostly the kind of guys who didn't recognize me when I wasn't with her. The cartoonist Kate Beaton's late sister Becky was strikingly beautiful too, where as Kate is much closer to my level--nerd-cute, can photograph quite pretty on occasion but gets caught looking doofy as often as not. They were very close and Kate did some great comics about their relationship. In my favorite she says, "I hate those hot-shit meatheads who are always buzzing around you. They don't even see a person in there." Which sums up how I mostly felt about the guys I watched trying to pick up my friend. Here are three of my favorites: https://www.flickr.com/photos/154685153@N06/38904308741/ https://www.flickr.com/photos/154685153@N06/23972345057/ https://www.flickr.com/photos/154685153@N06/27061321169/

FilloryCitrus

it's a club with alcohol, so underage could be 18-20 (under the drinking age)

So she doesn't mind pursuing jailbait?

Stephen Gilberg