CH55
Added 2022-03-13 16:33:32 +0000 UTCHello all! Please see chapter 55!
Didn't get to build up as much as I hoped so the next chapter will be the 19th - 21th of March!
Comments
Where is chapter 56?
Gilgamos
2022-03-22 21:40:22 +0000 UTCWow, thank you for the comprehensive comment! A lot to unpack! First thing that I will acknowledge is the great many subplots that are diverting from the main plot are perhaps a few too many and as you say could be a story on its own. I'm conscious of that and am going to pay some attention to that. You mentioned about threading the subplots into the main...I am working towards that...each subplot, each scene that deviates is working to that. There is purpose in the scenes. But anyway, thank you for your response, it was great to read such a comprehensive opinion
Mosef
2022-03-21 19:50:51 +0000 UTCA slightly longer comment on my impressions for this chapter: I really love that you made the chapter from the POVs of this followers/compatriots. It allowed you to do more character and world building while also giving the MC more page time. What I hadn't mentioned in the chapter before but probably should have, is that my own issue wasn't strictly with the MC not having screen-time, but with the main plot threads, of which the MC is heavily involved in, not getting enough page time, like the war efforts here. Or the happenings back home with our heroine (I guess you can call her that, right?... Right?). At this point we really have a LOT of plot threads going on, here are some: - A possible new country/island - Things happening in space, or will happen - A second school, and a revolution of the magical academia - New magical research and breakthroughs like with transfiguration and such - The romance subplot, and psychological elements of it all with a Riddle being involved - The muggle side of things having their own stake in things, with now recruiting magical people not happy with the state of things, and the saved muggles who are among the magical people and their influence among the first bloods and what it means over in MACUSA - The war, which is huge on it's own, with different subplots related to it, like with Grindelwald, that Russian dude, Dumbledore and political scene back in Britain in regards to Riddle and Slytherin and well everything (I'd say this and the war in Europe is the main plot line), plus now a subplot in regards to the newspaper and Dumbles past - Oh and the possible huge conspiracy with the DoM Man, that is a lot... I think I didn't miss anything? It is credit to you that you managed to write such a complex world, it is a hard to even say this is the Potterverse anymore, you have manage to make it THAT unique and creative with your writing. I can't put into words how much praise you deserve on that front. I can easily imagine you writing a unique fantasy world of your own as well without a fanfiction framework, and that is not something that can be said for most fanfic authors. On the other hand, having this many plot threads can be pretty hard to handle. Especially for someone reading it as a episodic web series, released every now and then. We actually had like half a dozen chapters almost strictly related to the side plots, expect that one with Riddle. That was what I really meant by 'the quality feel like it is dropping' back then. There was a lot being released to the side plots. Where each of them could easily be a story of it's own. I REALLY want to read about all of the side plots too, but the main reason I'm here is the main plot, and that is why I think you should concentrate on it, while also giving us insight into the others every once in a while. Or to thread the side plots into the main one... somehow. Like with the dumbles thing and the newspaper guy. It wasn't a new character, but an existing one, and it was already related to the newspaper that Riddle was tied to, so it was a lot easier to follow then say something left field about new muggle character being saved that are now in MACUSA. Still, I don't want to tell you not to write such chapters, because they are your greatest strength, as contradictory as that sounds. I hope I've been able to express what I wasn't in my last review. Keep it up! Yours, a humble reader
Dull Pen
2022-03-20 16:08:28 +0000 UTC
