An Exhaustive Explanation

So, you probably saw my last two posts. I was somewhat vague with them, because I haven't been able to sit down for five minutes in two days, until now. So here's what's up with me:

I just signed a lease on a piece of commercial property to use as a dedicated studio. I got it for an absolute steal and I'm not sure exactly why it was so cheap; I'm sure I'll find out, and won't love the answer, but what business has ever started in the penthouse they wanted to end up in? Most never even get there.

(I would hate a penthouse, tall buildings terrify me on both visceral and theoretical levels, and long elevator rides are tedious.)

The reason I was able to do this is because you - each and every person who is supporting me - have committed a really remarkable amount of money to this project. I feel like I haven't properly expressed my gratitude, and I know why - it's because I'm afraid if I say anything about it, you'll all go "Oh, He's Making That Much? I Guess He Doesn't Need My Five Bucks" and overnight I'll lose half my supporters.

That's probably selling you all short however - as far as I can tell, everyone is entirely aware of the total number, and you still feel the desire to send me your particular five bucks, which is really, really helpful, but kind of bonkers to me.

I'll fully level with you: I don't get it. I have no idea what makes you all like my work so much. I had fantasies, for many years, that if I just got off my ass and started making stuff like this, my viewpoint would become instantly recognized as a shining example of a new and novel perspective... and, you know, I also had daydreams about making a new operating system that would Fix All The Problems with all extant ones, despite having almost no programming experience. I knew that was an absurd fantasy, and thought this was too.

I have no worries of sounding egotistical by saying that I got into this because I felt a lot of people were missing important angles on things, or that I think I'm (more or less) achieving my goals of covering them; it's just that I didn't think it was that big a deal or, frankly, that I'm doing as good as a job as I had always imagined I would.

My product is never quite as refined as I want, I'm always frustrated with my video quality, color timing, framing, etc. and honestly I get facts wrong in every video, although I think I'm getting better at pointing out when I don't have the answers and am just sharing a fun little idea I had about them with you.

It doesn't feel like it's worth what you're paying me, and I'm glad you all seem to disagree. It is, in all truth, what gets me out of bed in the morning these days, knowing that there are people out there who are on the same page.

But still, for every video I make, you don't see the dozen I don't, because I can't (or couldn't, I hope to be able to say very soon.) This is largely because of space. I don't know if it's obvious how small the space I've shot all my videos in to date is.

My early ones were shot in the corner of a 10x14 room, and all my later ones were shot in the corner of a 12x14 room. I have a wooden cart that I built from scrap lumber and some leftover countertop material to actually demo stuff on. A single wall I could paint, and the other I had to cover with *terrible* Ikea bookshelves, not because I liked them, but because it was a hideous, craggy cement block wall that was impossible to make presentable.

Income from Patreon gave me, technically, a pretty reasonable budget for upgrades - and I was spending it all on material for videos at ebay, thrift stores, etc., not because I didn't NEED upgrades, but because I had nowhere to use them. Better lighting? Pointless, nowhere to hang it. Better lenses? The camera is limited to a 4x4' square, smashed in between my computer chair and the presentation cart. Better mic? What's the point - the room is an echo chamber with ceilings so low I couldn't even mount a boom if I wanted to.

I get a lot of compliments on my audio, and I admit I think I've done pretty well with limited resources, but the only reason it wasn't uselessly echoey in here is because the room was *packed* with stuff that diffused noise - but the reason it was so packed is because I also had to LIVE in here, so my desk, my main PC, and everything I did day to day was crammed in this room as well.

It was utterly claustrophobic. My presentation desk was so small - out of necessity - that I basically couldn't fit more than one or two little gadgets on it without being obscured behind them. You haven't noticed this because I gave up on all the videos where I'd have to do this. If I wanted to demo something that required a computer and a monitor to be on-camera, I simply couldn't, because you wouldn't be able to see me behind them.

Or, in that same vein, you'd be able to see them, but I wouldn't be able to see the screen - there isn't room up there for two monitors, and there wasn't any reliable way to capture the video from a PC to composite in later. What if a cable fell out in the middle of recording? I'd never know. And synchronizing captured video to the camera - ugh! Horrible. It made a lot of things just not worth it.

What if I put another camera on the other side of the desk to capture the screen? Then you'd see the rest of my office, which was both embarrassingly and distractingly messy. And there wasn't any room for a second angle camera. I could have taken one month's income and bought a second Blackmagic 4K for a reverse angle shot, but where would I put it? I've been shooting videos with my back literally against a wall.

It's so cramped that every single time I finish shooting, I have to break everything down and shove it all up against a wall just so I can live, and even then, my floods and softboxes are so irritating to take down that I just walk around them, ducking every time I enter and exit my office.

It's been miserable, and somehow I've managed to hide that enough to make a product you seem to like. I'm glad you forgave any problems you did see. But you - and me! - deserve better.

I needed more space so I could do things that simply aren't possible in this cramped little room. I needed a place where I could set down furniture in a permanent location - put gaff tape marks on the floor so it can be returned to that spot reliably. And I wanted that furniture to be bigger, so you can see both me, and the things I want to show you - and they can be bigger things, and more of them (two of them, for instance.)

I wanted the space for a wide, adjustable-height presentation desk; I now have a 70x24" sit/stand workbench that can rise from about 25" to, I think, 54", so I can stand when need be and sit when convenient - which will make me MUCH less irritable and exhausted when doing a shoot, because: when was the last time you stood and talked continuously for 4-6 hours? Turns out, it hurts really, really bad, especially if you're 33 years old, out of shape and overweight.

And, without going off into those weeds too much, I've been having trouble resolving that problem for complicated reasons, many of which I hope will be helped by having this new base of operations.

I'll have access to locations to get good test footage with old video gear. I'll have a space in which I'm not afraid to turn the camera away from the one single angle that I've been able to clean up and make presentable. I'll have more places to shoot than a single set or a blank wall. I'll be able to include large things like PCs in videos, and light myself better, and get good top-down shots.

The variety of topics I'll cover will increase, guaranteed. I am already planning a video that I may shoot before even painting the walls, because it's relatively easy in this new space, but was fiendishly difficult in the old one, and it's about a subject I've never touched on before. I have a number of old computers in storage - really intriguing things, no lie - that you will finally see.

I will, I hope, do more visually interesting shots, because I can now do stuff like put myself 4' in front of the camera, with a CRT TV on a cart 10' behind me out of focus. The space is big enough that those numbers make sense, with room to spare. It's completely nuts; again, the price makes no sense.

I might be able to have guests in. I know, or know peripherally, some people who have very, very interesting things to say about technology. I have the space to set up two chairs and do an interview, perhaps spaced around some remarkable artifact, like a rare 80s minicomputer. This is not a hypothetical "someday, maybe, if I get there", this is a "whenever our schedules line up." I have the material in the bag, we already discussed doing it months ago, it's just a matter of logistics.

When I started this channel, I had big ideas. Those have slowly slid closer and closer to big plans. I hope you'll all stick with me while I figure out the issues with this new space*, because I think you'll be satisfied when the payoff comes.

And if you're at all worried - I have no intentions to change my style, or to court brands to shill products for, or to otherwise change much beyond doing what I've been doing more, and better.

The Problems: The acoustics are horrible, but there isn't a room in the world that can't be said about when you first move in. I'm positive it can be tackled. I have foam on one wall already and a pile of drapes waiting to get tacked up, I gotta get more of both and then figure out how to attack the incredibly high (12'? 14'?) ceilings. There's so much rafter space that I'm thinking if I can borrow a 15' ladder, I may be able to just pack foam in between them without e.g. any increased fire risk.

I need a little more lighting, and some proper C-stands or something, because I can't use overhead pipes to mount lights like I did here, because of the high ceilings.

There's also a concern that nearby businesses in the same building might make noise - although so far I haven't heard it, and since I do my shoots largely in the evening I doubt this is going to be a big problem.

Beyond those issues, the place is actually remarkably good already. If you saw the test still from my previous upload, you'll agree that I could shoot today, without changing anything, and look A) better than I did before, and B) better than lots of channels. It may be plain, but it's completely serviceable. So I have no doubt that I'll overcome any problems this place throws at me.

So, if you got through all that: Thank you all again, so much. It's completely redundant to say I couldn't do this without you. I am afraid of jinxing this so, so bad, I'm afraid you'll all pull your pledges at any moment and I'll be left holding the bag, but I'm putting my trust in those who have supported me this far for, as far as I feel about it, very little improvement, and promising you that after a year or two of putting your faith in me, you're gonna see returns.

I'm usually terrified of making commitments, but the remarkable thing is that now I'm convinced I can do this, because everyone kept believing in me, starting when I was making (and I'll take no argument on this one) absolute slop at the end of 2020. If I got from there to here, I can go from here to who knows where.

I'll be posting a lot of updates to my official twitter (oh, did I mention that? https://twitter.com/crdudeyoutube ) just because it's more convenient, and I'll probably put up some videos here, where I talk about how things are going, for my $2 and up tiers. Will stay in touch when I'm not breaking my back moving everything from my storage unit into the new place. Thanks again, everyone.

Edit: Fixed link!