MONDAY BLOG: OLD NEWS

Happy Monday from the Old Folk's Home.

Getting older isn’t all bad. You – hopefully – become a better version of yourself, closer to who you always wanted to be. You've learned to learn from your formative mistakes. You become more aware of how the world works – for better or worse – and you’re more selective with your time. You feel a little wiser, but also aware that you don't know everything.

At least, that’s how it is for me. I think the biggest change in the last few years is a thirst for learning - about the world, discovering new skills and new ways of seeing things. Trying to understand complexities in ways that I might never have bothered with when I was younger. I like that a lot.

My dad was a voracious reader, and learning new things was exciting to him in a way it is for me too. He always wanted to share what he'd learned. For me, it's the best part of getting older; not wanting to feel I'm wasting the time I have left.

But… there’s a trade-off to that. Part of it is seeing the people around you getting older too – especially those who were always older than you – and wondering if that’s where you’re headed next. One of my sisters now uses an electric wheelchair, because of a back issue, which is a stark reminder none of us are getting younger.

And then there are my parents… Seeing what’s happened to my mum is terrifying, frankly. I was never scared of getting old, never scared that one day I’d just end… but seeing her slow, drawn-out end, is a horrible sort of foreshadowing. She doesn’t get many visitors other than my sisters, Sanja and I, and even though she isn’t really aware of who’s been to see her from one day to the next, there are enough flashes of lucidity that you can tell she’s lonely and scared. That’s what really frightens me most about the coming decades.

Then there are the gradual changes to my own physicality. I mean, putting on weight at a drop of a hat is part of it. Looking older in small ways – new lumpy bits, new hairy bits, losing whatever looks you might’ve once had. Getting baggier in the face. That's been the biggest surprise I guess; not just waking up old one day, but seeing the slow decay of what you used to look like.

Also being treated differently by others because you’re part of an older generation – having my eyes opened to the way the world favours the young has been a brutal part of the past five years. That wisdom and a lifetime of hard-earned skills are dismissed in favour of the fire of youth. "Ok, boomer" pretty much sums it up.

The recent spat I had over the AI used in the final ep of Digi Level 2 very much felt to me like it was about a generational disconnect thing. You get more nuanced as you get old, I guess.

There's no real use of AI in the upcoming eps, by the way. I even gave myself an injury because I insisted on doing all the animation stuff by hand.

And then there’s waking up with aches and pains because you slept in an unfamiliar bed while travelling. Or - see above - giving yourself RSI in your hand, because you hyperfocused on drawing animations for an entire week before you went away…

Anyway.

GNARLED

Before we left, as you know, I had a pretty gnarly bad back - that's not age, just hereditary. I've had it since I was 21 and my kids all suffer from it too. Thankfully, it got better in time for the trip, and was fine for the entire time in Poland. I didn’t push it, mind – no Chaplin-esque falling down or anything this time, so sorry if you were looking forward to that.

Even my feet more or less held up, after I bought a new pair of boots that are half a size bigger than my old ones. It’s entire possibly my feet are bigger than I thought they were, and that’s what was giving me all the feet issues these past few years.

Same sort of thing happened when I did a USA road trip with my dad back in 2009 or so, and I got scarlet fever, of all things. I had to go and get a jab at a medical centre. They were very thorough, and they weighed me, and checked my height, and I was an entire inch taller than I thought I was; 6ft 2in instead of 6ft 1in. I’m guessing I didn’t stop growing when I thought I had, but that’s by the by.

But... my energy isn't what it was. I can keep going for extended periods of time, but I really, really feel it when I stop now.

While we were both fine and managed a very full-on schedule while we were in Poland… we’ve crashed since coming home. It’s the same way I’d feel after any week of filming, but this had travel on the top of it. It's not just physical; mentally you have to remain switched on the whole time - constantly changing where we were staying, driving for over five hours some days, remembering the filming schedule, checking the equipment was working and you had enough storage for all the footage... And that's before you're fannying around in tunnels and ruins.

Sanja’s five years younger than me, but even she’s reaching an age where it’s now taking her longer to recover than before. That plays into the putting on weight thing, because you’re then not moving as much, because you're knackered.

We were doing so much walking and exploring in Poland that we both lost weight, but we’ve not been good for doing much of anything since getting back.

I’m always still amazed by how much I can do still given my mostly sedentary job, but I worry that I’m going to slow down over the next ten years by a lot… and my head is still full of things I want to achieve and get done. I’ll keep going as long as I can.

ANYWAY

BUT! You should have a brand new video this week.

I’m nearly done with the edit – some voice over to record today, some animations/cutaways to finish, and an interview to do tomorrow night. Though that may end up going into the second video. We’ll see.

There was way too much to include in one video, so the first ‘adventure’ is going to be split over at least two. They won’t be labelled as Part 1 and Part 2 – they’ll have their own titles and general vibe – but they’re very much part of one thing.

The third video is the one that’s particularly timely, and probably going to end up a bit more serious. That’s the one that gave me RSI in my middle right finger, of all digits.

Then the fourth is Polski Sklep Corner, which is chaotic and sees me eating one of the worst things I’ve ever put in my mouth.  Oh! And you’ll get loads of exclusive Patreon stuff.

We were talking at the weekend and might film something to go in-between these videos – or do a live stream – so we don’t just end up as The Poland Channel, and so you don’t get all sick of Poland.

We’re already missing filming, and we’re keen to keep the videos flowing now that Digi Level 2 is done. Plus, of course, we have Digi Live and Drong’s Challenge still to come this year. Stick with us.

 And this Thursday let's do a joint Writer's Club/Biffo's Brain Zoom. We'll show you the merch we bought at Hitler's HQ...

Right. Back to Final Cut.

Paul