TOP TIER BONUS PODCAST - CRINGING AND AUTHENTICITY

Back when I was training to be a counsellor, we went on a couple of experiential residential trips. Basically, these were intensive two-day workshops, which would often be very, very full on. It’s fair to say that first one I went to changed my life for the better, and the last one I went to made me realise I no longer wanted to become a therapist.

Throughout them we’d do exercises, and occasionally break off into different experiential groups – these are where you’d basically sit around in a circle with a bunch of other trainees and one of the tutors, where nothing would be on the agenda. They’d last an hour or so, and you’d just come to the room with whatever feelings you were carrying around, and you’d wait for someone to start sharing.

That might sound awful to you. I got a lot out of them. They could be raw and painful. They could be funny and fun. They could descend into catfights. The full gamut of human experience would be there. The point was to learn to be okay with the entirety of who we all are - even the difficult parts - and to shine a light on areas of ourselves we might be less keen to look at. 

At one of these, one of the other trainees mentioned that she was constipated. There were a few awkward, embarrassed, laughs, but what it did brilliantly was open up a discussion around the shame many of us feel about our normal bodily functions. We all shit and fart and burp and piss, yet… they’re taboo subjects. More taboo, absurdly, than sex for many people.

We’re often taught at a really young age that these things are dirty and not to be discussed, rather than the completely mundane and ordinary functions that they are. Consequently, we carry that shame and stigma with us into adulthood, and it’s why so many people will gladly laugh at a joke about, say, sexual assault or genocide, while being "disgusted" at a joke about shitting your pants.

It really, really, really pisses me off. It makes me angry that society has made us this way. I like a toilet humour gag more than the average person, perhaps, but only because I’m giggling at the taboo. Some can’t even do that. I’ve got the shame, and Sanja’s got the shame, and it took us a long time to even admit to one another that we sometimes do a poo.

That is so wrong and stupid.

Why do I bring this up now? Well, because in this week’s episode of BYAMPOD, it starts and ends with a bit of fart-talk. 

It was just the sort of thing Sanja and I will wind each other up about, and our relationship – being candid and open and, as much as possible, our normal elves – is absolutely key to the podcast for me. It’s not some dry analysis of the albums. I’ve no interest in making that. It’s important to me that it feels human, that you share in our human experience of Marillion's music. It isn't music made solely for people who don't fart.

Because what’s more human than farting? Sorry if that makes you uncomfortable, but perhaps you need to question why, when you’ve probably farted multiple times today already.

Nonetheless, I came very close to editing it out of the episode. It wasn’t a subject I really wanted in what could well be one of our most listened-to episodes, that I knew was going to be heard by Marillion’s manager and – potentially – the band, given we rave about the album. Plus, Sanja was embarrassed… yet not so embarrassed that she demanded I take it out. She knows she can do that if she really had a problem with anything.

However, it’s such an emotional ep… that I felt it needed something that grounded it. Plus, I only return to the topic at the end because I knew it might help reset Sanja - and people listening - after she got very upset during the recording. 

It was just us being us. We’re human, warts and all, and, y’know, if people don’t like it then it’s their issue. It’s their shame they’re viewing the world through.

Suffice to say, we’ve already had one person say they couldn’t listen beyond the episode’s intro (see the above image). Which is unfortunate, because they’re missing out on a great review. And it’s fine. I knew it would happen. It’s not the guy’s fault, but I’m also not going to apologise – as much as I am compelled to… because I know that’s just my fart-shame talking.

<CUE BEE-GEES VOICE> “It's just your fart-shame talkin'… You're telling me lies, yeah!”

Anyhow… there are far more reasons why I might be cringing at this week’s episode than the farting, and I discuss them in this little bonus podcast, along with why authenticity is so important to me in Digitiser episodes.

Also: what we’re watching and reading!