Rewrite done.
Added 2025-06-05 20:15:42 +0000 UTCTook longer than expected, but I’m done with the rewrites. If you're trying to figure out what changed, focus on chapters 24 (where Cynthia talks about how Pokemon get stronger), 28 (where Cynthia starts to wonder why Rei seems to be lagging behind), and especially 29. I'd highly recommend re-reading the chapter 29 sequence just above the ending part , though it's not strictly necessary.
As for how it changed?
TL;DR:
Embedding is gone. (And henceforth, it is a banned word. If it ever must be mentioned, it shall only be referred to as the E thing.)/j
So, to replace the E-thing, we now have... protein powder. No, but seriously, in story been replaced by a general kind of knowledge about how a Pokémon's body functions, things you should know if you want to raise one efficiently. Like the fact that just feeding them regular food isn't enough; you need to buy specialized supplements, dose those supplements and even mix them with other supplements based on a Pokemon's species, focus and stuff like that.
Also, since I needed something to keep the story beat, the thing Myst doesn’t know about is the fact that you shouldn’t just follow the dosage and name on the supplement label. For example, if you have a Normal-type supplement with a recommended portion size for a small Pokémon, you should still scale that according to how much exercise your Pokémon is getting, and maybe mix in some Fighting-type supplement if they’re a close-range fighter. Or, to be more descriptive, a Charizard should probably get at least some amount of supplements meant for Dragon-types.
Eh, its honestly not my best work, but I think it makes more sense in story, and, honestly, I didn't want to think about it for too long and end up delaying things. In the end the point isn't meant to be about Myst not knowing this specific thing, but that in general he has a lot to learn about being a trainer.
PS: I do think I caught every reference, but if you find ligering I would appreciate a heads up.
Comments
haha, it's fine. I don't mind. But while placing all the eggs in one basket was a part of the problem, I think my problem with it was that it was that it was kinda warping the story around it. Compartivly suplements aren't supposed to be a huge game changed, its supposed to be a slight growth boost. Going from 1 to 1.2. A maximization, something even somebody like Cynthia could only really notice after a couple of months. In any case, the problem with E was honestly just the amount of focus I placed on it. I could see myselft writing another fanfic one day, with a Pokemon+cultivation storyline, but this story is never supposed to be about the nitty gritty of training.
Fixir
2025-06-05 21:26:21 +0000 UTCI hope I'm actually helping rather than rambling on without having an impact.
SpiritFoxAlf
2025-06-05 20:50:42 +0000 UTCAlso I think getting rid of the E-thing completely is a bit of a mistake. Rather than making it exponentially make it lateral, instead of it stay consistent in its growth make it have diminished returns, make it a foundation not a game changer. You ended up putting all your eggs in one basket and your probably making the same mistake with the powders. It should never be one thing that makes a difference it should always be multiple things working together. Like for example; the E-thing is could only be useful for a first stage when they're young and when they get older(in the case of single stage mons) or evolve, it doesn't work or isn't worth the effort anymore then you go to the next technic that's specially tailored to your mon rather than the generic E-thing for the Type your mon is.
SpiritFoxAlf
2025-06-05 20:49:08 +0000 UTC
