XaiJu
NicklawStudios
NicklawStudios

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The Quiet Rise of a Phoenix

Hey everyone, time for a little update—and it’s a mix of good and bad news.

Let’s start with the good stuff: my orange cat and I are settling in really well at our new home in the mountains. The peace and quiet out here, surrounded by nature, has been amazing. The cabin I moved into hadn’t been used in a long time, so there’s still a lot of cleaning and fixing up to do. But honestly, all the physical work has been kind of therapeutic. Like we say around here, “Tire out the body to rest the mind.” And it’s working—my depression has eased up a lot since the move. I’ve actually been feeling pretty good.

Now for the bad news: my PC had a catastrophic crash. Out of nowhere, I lost access to my C:\ drive—even though I’m the only user and have admin rights. I tried everything I could to fix it, but in the end, I had no choice but to reinstall the entire operating system. That alone wouldn’t have been so bad… if I hadn’t made one huge, heartbreaking mistake: I accidentally wiped my hard drive. All of it. Twenty years’ worth of files—gone.

You know that feeling when your blood runs cold and you realize you’ve just made a massive mistake? Yeah. That.

My setup had three drives: one SSD for the OS, another for games, and a big HDD just for storing all my files. When I realized what I’d done, I spent over 13 hours trying to recover the data with recovery software. I managed to get back maybe 2% of it. I know, I know—I should’ve had proper backups. And to be fair, I did have some: a few important files, including the new version of my comic, were safe on my laptop. So it wasn’t a total loss. But still… I lost pretty much everything else—thousands of reference photos, my own artwork, videos, music.

And here’s the cruel irony: a few months ago, during a really dark period, I burned all my physical art—everything I’d ever drawn on paper—in a bonfire in my backyard. I just wanted to erase myself. It was a terrible decision, I know… but that’s what depression does to people. And now, without meaning to, I’ve destroyed almost everything that was left.

So here I am, starting over from the ashes. My old art is gone for good. That’s also why I deleted my DeviantArt account—I just didn’t have anything left to show. But the final straw was finding out that someone had taken an old version of my comic and uploaded it to adult comic sites without my permission. That hit me hard. I know I used to make erotic art, but I never crossed into pornography, and I don’t want to be labeled that way. I’ve spent years studying anatomy, light and shadow, color theory, storytelling… not to be reduced to that.

That said, I’m moving forward with the new version of my comic featuring Silky/Zara. I feel like I owe it to you all—and I’m taking every step to make sure this version is polished, thoughtful, and appropriate for the audience I want to reach. In this post, you’ll find a preview of the next page I’m working on. I’ve switched up my process: instead of creating a full page all at once, I’m treating each panel like its own standalone piece. That way, I can really focus on the details and boost the overall quality. I hope you enjoy it.

That’s all for now. More updates soon from my little mountain hideaway. As always, thank you so much for your patience and support—it means the world to me.

The Quiet Rise of a Phoenix The Quiet Rise of a Phoenix

Comments

I tried everything I could, but it was almost useless. My only hope is backup DVDs that I burned years ago. Anyway, I lost all the recent files.

Siky Sedosa

That sucks to hear. Have you tried using different programs to recover the files you lost? That might help.

Zack Morris

There's a possibility I can recover some files. In the rush of moving, I ended up forgetting some backup DVDs at my old house (from the time when computers came with built-in DVD burners), so I asked my brother to find those DVDs and send them to me. The most recent files, unfortunately, are completely lost... but we have a saying around here: "If a great loss can lead to new hope, then in truth every loss will be a gain."

Siky Sedosa

While I have (luckily!) never experienced a big loss of data, I can imagine what it feels like to lose, well, the digital part of your identity, in a way. And with you being as productive there as you are, that must hit even harder. The only good thing is that whatever you create from now on will be even better than what you burned or erased. Those individual panels are huuuge :-O You're not taking shortcuts with this comic, that's for sure! Also, I am glad to hear your new home appears to have a therapeutic value for you :-)

Mr. Metzger


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