Card Game Fundamentals: Building Relationships

One of the topics that I rarely see discussed is the importance of building relationships in card game tournaments.

I've been traveling across Australia for the past year for a bunch of tournaments, between Bushiroad events, Bandai Events, and even Disney's Lorcana. Especially in a country like Australia, you'll start to see the same faces across multiple games and events, and the value of building relationships will become abundantly clear over time.

What are the benefits of building relationships?

- Making friends

- Sharing information

- Borrowing cards

- Opportunities to test vs strong players

- Splitting prizing (ironically, not applicable to SVE)

- Opportunities outside the game

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but I'll go through some of these benefits.

Making friends (and conversely, not making enemies)

Probably the most self-explanatory. You might have many other objectives and other priorities when you go to a tournament, but at the end of the day, having friends there is much better than having enemies. Friends make the tournament more enjoyable, and there are other benefits which I will explain a little later. On the other hand, making enemies is often a mistake. Don't get me wrong, I've gone down this path before, and to be honest, it's not really worth it. You could be totally in the right, but that won't stop them from spreading rumours, trying to sabotage you, and finding ways to undermine you. In addition, as silly as it is, sometimes an entire group will hate on you simply because their friend does. I've seen both sides of this, and I try not to engage in it, even when I hate the other side. A common example is when people falsely claim that "X Player is bad at the game" when nobody actually believes this, but they say it anyway, cause they don't like the person. People close to me will know that I don't call people bad unless I actually think they are bad, but this type of reasonable logic is frequently missing in society, as you are socially pressured into agreeing with such sentiments.

I'm not saying you can't make enemies - sometimes you will have a good reason for doing so, but if you don't have one and you have the choice, best to avoid it.

Sharing Information

Ever showed up to a tournament and a bunch of players are running some kind of innovation that gives them the edge over everyone else? Most of the time, they're part of the same circle and have shared the information amongst themselves. If you build good relationships with these players, they might admit you into their circle, and all of a sudden, you also have the edge over the competition!

But more loosely, I am in the position where if I ever need help with learning a certain card game, deck, or require some coaching, I can just ask one of my many friends to spare a few hours and help me out. This is, essentially, access to information that would otherwise be difficult to come by. Sometimes, you couldn't even purchase the information off anyone, because the coaching is simply not available or kept secret.

But sharing information is not just about being friends with the other person. If you're really close to them, sure, they might not ask anything in return. But in many cases, try to develop "your own value". People like sharing information with me because I reciprocate and also provide detailed insights they can't get anywhere else.

An example in SVE, is that recently, in the BP08 format, there were no major Japanese events. As a result, the most refined decklists for the format were not available, but if you had a friend in Japan who had a fully refined list - they might share it with you! In fact, this is what my friend did, he was able to offer the value proposition that he came 3rd place at SVE English Worlds the previous year, which demonstrated value to the pro SVE players in Japan!

Borrowing cards

Card game players are pretty chill about lending cards in general, but the bigger your network, the more easily you can secure cards from people before the tournament, oftentimes, entire decks, if need be. You don't need to be on great terms with people for this, but you do need to have a -decent reputation- or have mutuals that can vouch for you. As such, the more you build your relationships, the better your options.

Opportunities to test vs strong players

In some games, it's easy to get games vs strong players - just get a high MMR in the sim and then you'll pair vs the best players by default. But for smaller games without matchmaking, such as with SVE, your practice is only as good as the people you can play with. When you play vs weaker players, you pick up bad habits, you don't get punished for misplays, your opponent doesn't do the lines that you need to be careful of at higher levels of play, etc.

So yeah, everyone wants to play vs good players, but the reality is not so kind. It's not a problem for someone like me. If I ask a top player for practice, they acknowledge me as an equal and can see the mutual value in playtesting, so they'll usually say yes.

But if you're not a top player, it's harder. In truth, I'm just a nice guy so I'll play vs weaker players even if it's a waste of my time (worded extremely blunt, but in an article like this, trying to share the "real perspective.") But at the same time, I'm not going to play more than a few games vs them unless they're a friend or something. Which is my point, really. To playtest vs better opponents, you either have to 1) get better 2) pay them (coaching etc) 3) be friends with them 4) offer some other kind of value (for example, you are a plumber and you both live in the same neighbourhood or w/e).

*A caveat is that sometimes, it can be good to deliberately play against weaker players (Ladder is often looked down upon in high-level testing groups, obviously because your average ladder player isn't going to be better practice than a top 10 player in the server). You might think, huh? But yeah, sometimes, a deck might be totally garbage vs a top 10 player in the world, but good vs everyone else. In that case, it could be a good bring to a tournament with 200 average players. So keep an open mind, is what I'm saying.

Splitting prizing

If I recall, this isn't actually legal in Bushiroad games, so don't try this in their events lols. Ironically though, because of the lower value of prizing in Bushiroad events, the incentive to split isn't really there either. But since this is a "card game fundamental", I'll use Bandai games as an example.

So, in One Piece, they usually cut to the Top 16 in Australia. The top 8 get serial cards, which are worth a few thousand dollars. People don't like gambling for that kind of money in a single BO3, so in most cases, players will split 50-50 in the Top 16 but play out the match to see who goes through. It's completely legal and normal here.

As with any card game, matchup spreads exist, and you might think, hang on Bma, won't a 50-50 split often be unfair to at least one of the players? The answer is obviously "Yes." And yet, 50-50 is the most common split arrangement. Why?

The explanation is that people believe in reciprocity. If I, as a top player, regularly make the top 16, I am not always going to have the inferior or superior matchup. The next time I meet the same person, or one of their friends, I will extend the same courtesy back. As such, it often evens out either way, but that doesn't mean there's no value to doing so over the long-run.

While some people believe splits are only possible when you already hold a good relationship with the other party, in practice, splits can often be directly responsible for building good relationships. It's also good for your reputation. If you've done splits with multiple other players, this cements you as a "trustworthy player". This essentially snowballs upon itself (And remember what we said about the benefits of making friends in the previous section? Yep, easier access to info, testing partners, etc.)

So in essence, splitting prizing is not just about the EV of the prizing itself, but also the added bonus of building strong relationships.

Opportunities outside the game

I've met a lot of people playing card games. Lawyers, project managers, developers, LGS workers, business owners... the list goes on. You might never need their help, but hey, maybe you will. It could be as simple as their advice, discounts, or just that they're chill to hang out with and talk to. Sometimes, it's literally as innocuous as everyone going in the same car together to go from one LGS to another LGS....

The possibilities are essentially endless, but negative relationships typically strip you of those very possibilities!

General Conduct

So now that we've covered the benefits of building relationships, now it's time to talk about some very common things that can and will come up, and my opinion on if you should do it or not.

Should you ruleshark someone?

Depending on the card game, it can be considered unsportsmanlike conduct, but the purpose of this section isn't to discuss its legality, but the social ramifications of doing so.

In the long run, rulesharking damages your reputation and ruins your relationships with others.

An example of this is in One Piece, where the entire BY Luffy leader operates off cards that provide the leader with +2k. However, because it says "up to 1 of your leaders gains 2k", it is technically possible to miss this effect, even though there is zero reason for a player to skip it. It is completely legal for the opponent to tell you that you missed the declaration and call a judge.

Technically, they are correct to do so, but will you grab a drink with that guy after the tournament? Probably not. In truth, the moment you commit to this decision, you'll have damaged that relationship permanently. To be honest, in most card games, you should be able to win without rulesharking, so I don't recommend it. In addition, I tend to find that it's the shit players that rule shark more often, though your mileage will vary.

However, if you really want to do it, what I would suggest is that the -first time- your opponent does it, you warn them and tell them if they do it again, you won't let it go the next time. This way, it sets expectations, the opponent acknowledges they have to play more clean, and they will not blame you if you call them out the second time.

Should you let someone take back a move?

This is similar to the above but different. Unlike with rule sharking, it is commonly accepted that at high-level tournaments, players should not expect to get a take-back on any move. Conversely, at locals, just let them take back the move - you have to see these guys every week and having a good relationship is far more important than any individual prize.

In the case of higher-level tournaments, I think it should be on a case-by-case basis, and contextual. If you are friends with the other person, I recommend letting them take back one move, and then expressing that you will only let them take back that one move. But I think this should only be allowed when you didn't give any info (i.e, using cards in hand, your opponent drawing additional cards etc). Also, it's fine to let lower-level players take back one move as well, in general. If they make one mistake, they'll probably make another one later anyway. And then you've set the expectations with them, and they won't ask to take back a move again. This has happened several times in tournaments, where my opponent will obviously start a sentence to ask for a take-back, but then stop half-way because they realise it's unreasonable after the first time.

In addition, it also means you'll get a take-back as well laughs.

This type of approach tends to build good relationships and reduces the odds of bad vibes. That said, if you're on the bubble or playing for thousands of dollars then just do what feels right for you. End of the day, you shouldn't be too nice to people to your own detriment either.

Should you get salty after games?

The short answer is "no."

It might feel good in the moment to let your opponent know how shit they are and how you only lost cause he topped X or you bricked like crazy - but what does it really accomplish? It's fine to discuss the game, but try not to let your negative emotions show - and definitely don't direct it towards your opponent.

It's just a typical case of impulse control. You feel better in the moment but you never know how it might come back to bite you later.

Should I let my opponents complain after a game?

This one's hilarious. I'll often win against an opponent where they make a bunch of misplays or whatever, then say stuff that's blatantly wrong. They'll say stuff like "man I got SO unlucky, I would have won if X, Y, or Z. Or sometimes they'll mutter under their breath, or tell a friend after the game "man I got sacked so hard", and in reality, it's not even remotely true.

In these cases?

I just agree with them, even if it's not true. You got the win already, so who cares what they need to do to vent? No need to take it personally! To be frank, most of the time, even the other person knows they're being unreasonable, so you being chill puts the relationship in a better spot. I actually have a specific example where someone did this to me cause they thought I was a random. We're actually good friends now, I totally forgot it even happened until my friend (who was watching the match back at the time) reminded me of it.

Buying and selling cards

This is probably another topic altogether. When buying and selling cards, as long as you can justify what you've done, I think it's fine. Obviously, if you egregiously rip someone off, they'll probably hold it against you, but in today's day and age, it's pretty hard to rip people off anyway - since everyone checks TCG Player.

I think an important thing with buying/selling is to never lie. Lies lead to more lies, and most of the time, they'll get uncovered eventually. People don't really like dealing with liars, and it'll hit your reputation eventually.

Sometimes you can do really small things to make people feel better after a sale. For example, throwing in bulk for free, giving a small discount if they buy multiple cards etc. I also recommend, whether you are buying or selling, to test the waters a little bit. For example, if I'm willing to buy a card for $40 each, I'll offer them $35 and see what they say. They might say yes, cool. Or sometimes I'll ask them to cover shipping and, surprisingly, it's quite frequent they say yes.

There's a LOT of cases where people know what the value of a card is, but because they understand that cards are never 100% liquid, they're willing to let it go for lower. Other common tactics include "TCG 85?" or "it goes for X on FB (never lie on this!)" or "this card will probably go up/down because of X or Y." You can also ask for mate's rates or slight discount due to being a repeat customer. Pick your battles though and don't take the piss with unreasonable offers!

One of my main tips here is that what you don't ask for, you won't get. I think it's a pretty important concept to understand when it comes to saving money over the long-term. The other one is to create deals where both parties feel happy afterwards. if you master both concepts, you'll be just fine here.

Final thoughts

Obviously, the article's purpose isn't for you to use cold-hearted analysis to manipulate people to your benefit. Although many of the concepts I've written about here come naturally to many, it's still worthwhile sometimes to have it written out like this cause it's not a topic that comes up in regular conversation. If nothing else, you can get an insight into my perspective on the card game community in Australia.

Notably, some people follow a totally different set of principles than this, and I think that's fine too. End of the day, remember that everyone has a choice, even if you personally disagree with their decision or find it illogical. The correct way to digest articles like this is not to take my word as gospel but to understand my points and then critically evaluate if they make sense and if you agree with them, then change your decision-making frameworks accordingly.