“Purely Anthropologically” Part 1.5

After it all happened, you couldn't stop thinking about the night of that party for like a week.

And while yes, there was that whole unfortunate matter of your 'long time friend' turning your secret proclivity, which you told him in confidence, into nothing more than a punchline for a room of mostly mutuals that will now forever see you just a little bit differently. Not great! But weirdly enough, that's not the part your brain has been dwelling on.

For as embarrassing as all that might’ve been? It seems easily overshadowed by the one major highlight of the evening. The thing that kept the whole affair from being a complete wash. 

You got to meet Kallista. 

Kinda wild to think about how you were on the verge of losing it when she suddenly, unexpectedly, followed you out onto that fire escape, unwittingly calming you down simply by addressing the very matter head-on.

Of course, you immediately chalked her very interest into the matter up to pity. 'Oh great, the really cute girl is suddenly fascinated by the freak that likes fat girls.' But the more you two talked, the more sincere & genuine she seemed, albeit maybe a tad patronizing. And her insistence that her curiosity was coming from an 'anthropological framework?' That seemed pretty strange. If that were truly the case, she was investing quite a lot of time & energy on her part, considering.

The most charitable interpretation you could come up with that a woman as hot as her probably has everyone ogling her. Maybe, as rail thin as she was, she felt she can let her guard down around you a little. But even then, that said? There was something very endearing about her sincerity. And her acceptance. Kinda undercutting that original premise. You still couldn’t help yourself from still feeling a bit attracted to her. Even if her body, while very much the ideal for broader society, wasn’t exactly your cup of tea.

Eventually your conversation worked well beyond you & who you were attracted to. In fact, the two of you talked about everything! It was kind of insane just how many of your common interests just seemed to line up. Upon first glance, you could tell she would at least be pretty cool. But nowhere near as infinitely cool as she ended up actually being. You never, ever in a million years would've expected a girl that cool, let alone that conventionally attractive, devoting so much attention on someone like you. But she did. And that had to mean something.

She talked about the bands she played in. Her love of music. How she wasn't just up on Bandify, but that she had multiple aliases on there, each devoted to a slightly different sub-subgenre. A few with some relative motion even. And most of it was pretty great. It was a little surprising how much you particularly enjoyed her more throwback-y Witch House stuff. Like Salem in their prime. The fact that she was that talented on top of everything else? It only seemed to further elevate her out of your league. But then just being in her presence, having her undivided attention? That in & of itself was almost its own bit of an ego boost. Enough to get you over the prior events.

It seemed as if you two hit it off. You genuinely liked her music. She at least seemed to authentically laugh at at least some of your jokes. In fact, you both stayed out on that fire escape for the rest of the night, just shooting the shit while ignoring the raucous party inside. And it felt like a much better time, just chatting until you were practically the last two to leave.

When she insisted on swapping numbers, you still couldn't help but think of it as her continuing to humor you. Try & 'make the sadsack on the fire escape feel better.' Not that she'd ever possibly want to keep talking. That to her, you were never going to be anything more than 'that chubby chaser whose brain she picked at a party down the hall from her that one time.' You told yourself there was just no way she would ever truly want to keep the conversation going. Spend any more time on someone like you. And while you did give her your number & she texted you right back to give you hers, you braced for the inevitable ghosting. Even prevented yourself from being the first to reach out after, knowing you were just setting yourself up for disappointment.

That's why it came as such a shock to you, a week later, walking home from work, ear buds in, listening to her mixtape even, when you suddenly got a random notification out of the blue.

"Look, I wanted to text you sooner. But it's my most annoyingly millennial trait, I know. I hate texting. So impersonal." Read the first message. "Can I just call you instead?" Asked the follow up, stopping you dead in your tracks.

"Sure!" You respond simply, before worrying you responded maybe a little too promptly. Too excitedly. But the toothpaste was already out of the tube. "Anytime." You follow up quickly. And you continue to hold your phone out in front of you for a moment, almost as if you are wishcasting her to call you that very instant. But she doesn't. And you feel silly for thinking she would, then & there. So you start to try to pocket your phone for the last two & a half remaining blocks you have left. Only your phone starts to shake vigorously between your fingers the nanosecond before you let go.

That phone call turned into another conversation lasting a significant portion of the evening, carrying over into the wee hours. And no part of it revolved around you liking thick chicks. Though after you got home, she did have you tune into a reality show you wouldn't have watched otherwise. But watching together, the two of you had a grand old time, going back & forth, skewering the cast of braindead contestants.

"Fuck," she wheezed, gasping for air after a laughing fit. "I don't know if I can go back to watching this on my own any more. Not the way I used to any more after this. We might have to watch this together every time now. For the foreseeable! At least for the remainder of the season!"

"Sure," you feel yourself say, almost as a kneejerk reaction. "You've got it." More out of not wanting to let such a sweet & funny girl down. Even if there's still that doubtful voice in the back of your mind, trying to tell you she's simply fucking with you. That this is all too good to be true. But that voice is getting quieter & quieter the more you enjoy each other's company. The more she laughs at your jokes. The more she seems interested in what you have to say. The more her sincerity persists, convincing you not to be as hard on yourself.

The phone calls slowly became an almost nightly occurrence. Usually with her calling you, since you're still just a little too shy. And they extend well beyond simply enjoying mindless primetime television together, as hysterical as those particular nights are.

She invites you to a gallery opening. One she was hired to DJ for, just to hang out in person again. And while the vibe of the crowd is entirely too pretentious, & the derivative Koons-style high pop art isn't particularly for you, she looked so goddamn cool at her makeshift booth in the corner. And her selection was so on-point. But of course you assumed it was going to be. That was just a given. The strange part was when you eventually reconnect, & the way she seems to need assurance from you on that front. About how concerned she was over how much you enjoyed the evening, even over the gallery owner that hired her. Was... she trying to impress you?!

She insists on going out for a bite after, talking up some hole-in-the-wall Korean chicken place she knows that's open until 4am. And at this point, even if you are feeling a bit peckish, & open to the idea of a midnight snack, more than anything you simply just want to spend more time with her. And so you think nothing of it, beyond an opportunity to do just that.

As the two of you take a train downtown, shooting unspoken glances at one another back & forth, as you both people watch, you keep staring into her big, green eyes. And sure, while she might be a bit frailer than you’re typically drawn to, you’re falling head over heels for her. And now a new anxiety enters the fray, starting to rattle around in your skull.

What if you were right? What if the only reason she talked to you in the first place, was her being able to let her guard down around you, thinking she wouldn’t be your type? Were you violating that all of a sudden, feeling yourself developing a crush on her? Hell, you realize how she hasn’t even brought that topic up in weeks. So much for Anthropology, you sigh to yourself.

“What’s up?” She peers over, her brow curling with a slight bit of concern.

“Nothing,” you insist. But in a way that totally infers your mind is racing a mile a minute. Fortunately, while she can sniff out the bluff, she chooses not to probe further.

“If my set was really that dogshit, you can just tell me.” She rolls her eyes with a cute giggle, once again playing with the platinum blond tips of her long straight hair.

“What?! No! Are you kidding me?“ You stop her, drawn out of your own head. “You were the highlight of that whole… event. If you can even call it that.”

“Only fuckin’ with ya,” She smirks. “They did pay well though, so let me cover this for us,” she says, waving her phone, the CashUp notification still fresh.

“I mean I’m not going to tell you no,” you snicker shyly.

Within minutes, you’re both seated in a wobbly, somewhat grimey booth with staticy K-Pop blaring out of only the left channel of a stereo speaker set up, causing tinny reverberations off the linoleum tile floor, barely audible over the buzzing overhead fluorescents. The cheaply generic Asian meets mall neon decor of the place has seemingly not changed from 1991, & Kallista feels the need to repeat “I swear, it’s really good though” a few times while a loud group of young guys shout loudly from the bar downstairs, & a haggard, elderly gentleman a few booths over seems to be passed out & starts snoring. You smile & nod politely, trusting her judgment, as the waiter finally approaches.

“Yeah,” Kallista immediately jumps in “I’ll get a dozen of the bone-in Golden Curry Tikkudak, & a dozen bone-in Yangnyeom, & how about a half dozen of just the plain, crispy, double fried? Ooh, & a medium kimchi, & a large order of your mozz sticks. Please.” While you appreciate how confident she is with the choice, you can’t help but feel a little taken back by her sudden audacity of seeming to ordering for you. Like you get that she’s a fan of this place, but she really should’ve given you a heads up before you spent a few minutes trying to nail down exactly what you wanted.

At least that’s what you think to yourself for approximately three seconds before you look up at her as she bats those big green doe eyes, & asks you “And what were you going to get?”

“All o-of th-that…? For… y-you?!” You manage to stutter.

“Yeah. What?!” She scowls, at first a bit puzzled. Then her face lights up, as if she was struck by a sudden realization of irony. “Wait! Are you, of all people, going to judge? Really?!”

“N- No I- I mean-“ you remember the waiter is standing there, already a bit stupefied by the size of Kallista’s order as well, but at a complete loss as far as this exchange. Dutifully he just seems ready for your order. “A half dozen Garlic Soy tenders, please.” You answer promptly, handing him your menu with an apologetic smile.

“What, that’s it?” Kallista smirks almost as if she’s big-dogging you, passing back her menu. “I toldja I’d cover it.”

“That’s enough for me right now,” you hold firm.

“Well you’re missing out,” She toys.

“Yeah, apparently,” you do the math. “So that’s what, like 30 wings?”

“And kimchi. And omigod, wait till you see the size of the mozz stick basket. You can have a few if you’d like, I’ll be nice, & share.” She prods, continuing with that devious smile. You’re having a hard time trying to tell if she’s being serious or somehow fucking with you right now, & so instead of saying anything you just kind of eye her, a reciprocating smirk plastered on your face. She leans in, with a hushed tone. “What’s the matter? I thought you liked girls with a healthy appetite.”

“I mean I do. But I’m just- I never would’ve-” You struggle before Kallista busts out laughing.

“You really ought to see your face right now,” she giggles biting her lip. “You’re so flustered! It’s adorable.”

“I’m nuh-“ You start to say, before being immediately gagged by her calling you ‘adorable.’ You can only muster a frustrated sigh after that.

“The truth is that as much as I love the food here, I’m hardly ever out this way. So I’m loading up & getting way extra to bring some home. Feed myself leftovers for a few days. To celebrate the gig this evening seemingly being a success.” She shifted tone to a sarcastic mock concern “Is that alright with you?”

“Honestly, I got a little worried you were trying to show off for me,” You chuckle. “Like you were looking to impress me or something.” Deep down, there is a small part of you that feels a bit let dismayed. But then again, that ‘adorable’ keeps ringing between your ears.

“I mean did you honestly think I could manage all of that in just one sitting?! HA! In your wildest dreams maybe,” Kallista chortled chidingly. The laugh trailed off & she bit her lip again. “Could you imagine? You’d have to roll me out of here! Omigawd!”

Almost an hour & a half later, Kallista leaned back & hiccuped an uncomfortable hiccup.

She did not stop at just like 10 wings. Or 12. But she didn’t eat all 30 wings either.

The thing is, once the two of you got talking & enjoying each other’s company, she seemingly stopped paying attention. Frankly you didn’t pay much either, but you started to realize she might’ve been overdoing it a little before she did. And maybe you really ought to have said something.

But you didn’t.

Either way, Kallista didn’t seem to realize just how high the stack of bones was getting until it was already too late, & all that was left, compiled into a single styrofoam box were two Yangnyeom, one Golden Curry, & four of the original.

She had managed to clear 23 wings down to the bone. On top of the kimchi, & like she had alluded to, a massive plastic red basket of mozz, practically a full meal unto itself. You did sneak about three, but she put away the rest. And it all looked like it had finally caught up with her.

“Well… so much for feeding yourself leftovers for a few days,” you poke as she leans back in the booth, ailing. The two & half beers did little to help smooth out her now bulging middle any either.

“It’s you,” she rasps mid-moan.

“Me?!” You ask shocked.

“You’re -urp- clearly a terrible influence on me,” she says softly, trying to cut down on her movements. Afraid to jostle herself in such a volatile condition. “I never overdo it. Now one- -oof- bite to eat with you, & I suddenly find myself -urp- ‘with food-child.’” She whimpers, acknowledging her distended middle. But you hadn’t been able to help yourself from catching glances of it heaving just below to table booth, with each of her full, labored breaths. “Oooof,” she caught herself, suspending what must’ve been a burp. “Oh. Is this… hot for you?”

“No comment,” you blush, giving her exactly the answer she seemingly expected. She scoffs, but the way her face squinches in disgust seems just a little too playful to be fully, seriously put off by you. “Now how about we roll you out of here?”

“Shut it!” She scowls, trying to ease herself out the narrow booth & up to her feet without you. And now, without the table in the way, that rail-thin girl you met at that party now sports a belly that makes her seem about six months pregnant. Complete with the slightest bit of a waddle now to her gait. “I really can’t believe I ate so much,” she laments, wincing remembering you’re both on the second floor. And a set of stairs stand between you & ground level.

You eventually got her to the door of her building, safely, without her exploding, after taking things very slowly. She said you were welcome to come in & stay a while but that she was probably going to immediately pass out in a food coma. As much as you would’ve liked to take her up on that, you took a raincheck. But then preceded to kick yourself every step on the walk back home to your place.

But you’ve been seeing Kallista in person at least twice a week now. And you begin to think that maybe? The Korean chicken place was not some kind of an anomaly. Every time the two of you hang out, Kallista seems to insist on grabbing something to eat. And when you two inevitably do sit down to eat together, more often than not? She tends to overdo it. Eat until she is stuffed.

Sure, maybe never quite to the extent of the night of the gallery opening. But certainly more than a girl with her figure would ever seem to eat. And at first, you find the incongruity just a little bit concerning. Is there something she’s not telling you? How can she eat like that & stay so thin?

But then you start to notice her things starting to fit a bit more snugly. Subtle at first. Then the one night, on the walk home from kebabs, she blew out the seam on her leggings & asked if you could walk behind her. It was an awkward trek back, but you swore you could see the curves intensifying, ever so slightly.

Was she right?

Were you a bad influence on her?

Or was she maybe just putting on a show for you?

Was the ‘oh, I’m getting extra for later’ thing all just a ploy from the beginning?

Was this all just her very elaborate way of flirting?

Because frankly? It’s really starting to drive you & your lizard brain crazy! Whether that’s truly ‘Anthropological’ or not.

|||

As promised, here’s the inbetween story, since the actual art portions of this sequence will act more as snapshots & I got a bit ambitious & wanted to tell a larger story. Originally this was going to be shorter, but I got too invested in trying to toy with some of the subtleties, & it got longwinded because of it.

Part two is close to being done, but I have to do all the tats again, which is a pain in the ass & will take a bit. But the accompanying vignette is good to go. So be on the look out soon!