The Bellflower Part 8
Added 2019-07-15 01:17:44 +0000 UTCIn this installment, Rachel goes AWOL after a s
Comments
My partner said "That's just Apple you can't fool me" to Penny's elevator lockdown sale on the app
Jennifer
2020-03-23 02:01:10 +0000 UTCI think you've been concerned about this in the past. And like I responded then, I will say that while I've entertained it a bit in the past, I'm not really much of a fan these days. So here, there very likely won't be. That said, just because it probably won't happen, the idea of popping is still a somewhat plausible one to the characters in the context of the story. So from their perspective, I feel like it's fair game to talk/worry about, while from the meta perspective, I personally find the threat & concern of something like that happening more intriguing than it actually taking place. So breathe a little easier, but don't be worried if the topic comes up a few more times in the future.
BNevis
2019-07-17 12:00:57 +0000 UTCi certainly hope no popping will be involved .A.
JadetheGuilmon
2019-07-17 10:22:57 +0000 UTCNo problem!!! I always wanna help improve what I read! And ooh, I love that dynamic between Penny and Rachel. There’s no more bullying of a tactic than throwing someone else under the bus to make you look okay in the situation.
Jennifer
2019-07-16 19:20:20 +0000 UTCI honestly had the thought that Veronica was always around the same size, but it kind of poked holes in the whole threat if some people can make it through unscathed. And yeah, that very first section of Penny making Holly eggs for her hangover, I had written it once, went back & wrote it again, & it had A LOT of Penny basically recapping Holly on what she herself had said confronting Rachel, because ultimately I really wanted to have Penny call Rachel a bully & that seemed like the only way to get there. But then you commented on the last one & I thought it over & realized it was all super redundant. And that I could just have Penny be fairly direct about the whole matter. And it flowed sooo much better! Thanks! I was worried Rachel kind of officially spelling out the conspiracy might fall a little on recap territory, but so far you've only got her concerns on the micro level, & not her overall theory on the macro. At least spelled out officially. And honestly, after hopping on twitter this week, I felt a little like maybe some new people might be joining in so it felt like a good time to do a bit of a summation overall. Although her snooping on profiles is a pretty gratuitous infodump I feel I probably could've worked out better. I'm glad you were liking Cami. I feel a little bit like making her mousy upfront was kind of a misdirect that she would kind of end up being a little prominent as the story progresses. Kind of have some fun ideas for her but I'll have to wait & see how they'll pan out. In my head, the confrontation between Penny & Rachel was supposed to be one part ultimatum, one part scare tactic/show of force. Comply, & do things the easy way, or Don't, & it might get a little hairy, like getting stranded on an elevator between "nonexistent" floors or whatever. And that Rachel might not be the only one made to face the consequences for her actions. But it's also a bit of a power move on Penny's part, as Penny understands Rachel's already wary of her so she has no problem demonstrating just a little of what she can do. But also, she knows how Holly perceives her sister's paranoia. So what is Rachel going to do? Tattle? It'd be futile. Holly would just think she's blowing something trivial out of proportion. So she can basically just sort of get away with it. And both Penny & Rachel understand this. As for popping, no one said anything about not filling someone up so much, they'd start wishing they had.... Thanks again!! Your feedback's been super helpful & I think it's had a really positive impact on the story as it's being written overall.
BNevis
2019-07-16 03:57:00 +0000 UTCThere may or may not be something coming up on the horizon... um...
BNevis
2019-07-16 03:20:33 +0000 UTCIn the moment I was hoping she’d see Veronica last and go “Oh. She’s actually exactly the same. Guess she has experience with weight?” But it’s probably for the better story wise hdhcjc. And wow! What a fun chapter! I think keeping those “recap” moments to a sprinkling like how you did here really worked, so much happened! Cami is cute as a button, and if she’s feeling what I think she’s feeling then I can’t wait to see her interact with Rachel more in the future. In all honesty I expected her to invite Rachel in for another accidental stuffing session. But boy! Tension sure is rising against Rachel. I’m actually really curious how Penny’s dystopian surveillance strategy in the elevator was supposed to work. Is it apart of some greater long arching plan? Is it gonna push Rachel in a direction she’d never anticipate to speed up the process? An actual genuine plea? Very fascinating. Let’s pray Penny guaranteeing Holly “won’t pop” is a sentiment that will carry over to Rachel if she hits those “certain outcomes”
Jennifer
2019-07-16 01:04:00 +0000 UTCAnd now having gotten the whole chapter, you are most certainly correct about needing to keep my ear to the ground. And also that Rachel really needs to be smarter about her attitude towards Penny before she winds out strapped to a chair with those clockwork orange eye devices and a funnel attached to her face
Chumlee99
2019-07-15 12:47:38 +0000 UTCI'll say this much, I tried making the brief allusion to the aspirin not really helping because maybe it wasn't really aspirin. And while you're not too far off about something influencing them? You have to think that not everything they're chowing down on is at the Bellflower or being prepared by Penny. But maybe keep an ear to the ground. And sorry, yeah the tots from the brunch bit was semi-aspirational at the time it was written. And they keep sounding good whenever I reference back to it, seeing as part 6 through 8 here have all been the same day.
BNevis
2019-07-15 11:40:39 +0000 UTCWell, can definitely say a great half to this chapter. If I was to suspect I’d say it was a combination of some chemical liberally mixed in all the food/drink & or maybe, and this is because I read the book, like in On Her Majest’s Secret Service the villain Blofeld used a bunch of psychological quackery to brain wash a bunch of women into doing his dirty work so Penny/Bellflower has plans for making all these women so huge. And probably not a good thing to read on an empty stomach because now I could go for a pile scrambled eggs and tater tots
Chumlee99
2019-07-15 01:38:13 +0000 UTC
