(IC) Chapter 340 - Meaning of Self

What makes us who we are?

Is thought just the echo of matter, or something beyond it?

What is… consciousness?

These were questions Lukas had asked himself once, perhaps more than once, as he wandered the world in search of a path, a meaning to his life. Yet the grounding weight of reality and the fleeting nature of existence had taught him instead to treasure the present, to value it for what it was, and to keep moving forward—at peace with never finding the answers.

Yet now those same questions had resurfaced, carrying a new weight, in what could only be called a true crisis of identity—of the meaning behind self.

He leaned his head back against the smooth, jade-like composite that lined the vast Meca at the heart of the old Xayen ruin in the Marshes.

And there he sat, contemplating, having just stepped into the Second Extreme Pillar Path.

To be honest with himself… he felt great. His mind was clearer than ever. The rigid framework he had once in-built—the Standard Pillar Path and the neural lattice it demanded—was gone. With it, a weight had lifted. His thoughts now flowed smoother, more natural, dare he say… more human, more him.

He didn’t fully understand why, but after reaching the First Extreme State and merging mind and Pillar, he became aware of the machine-like thought process that had been slowly shaping him all along—a rigid, logical workflow imposed by the Standard Path. It had muted parts of him, suppressing shades of his persona, small fragments of the essence of what made him himself—of what made him Lukas.

The dread of that awareness chilled him. To think that, had he followed that path alone—without the counterbalance of the instinct drawn from the Standard Body Path—he might have stepped blindly into a fate that left no room for emotions, for feelings… for humanity. Only… a machine.

For him, still at the Second Pillar Path, the effect had not been obvious—not strong enough for others to notice—yet it constrained his mind to rigid logical routes. Especially in some of his conversations with Chiara, where their exchanges often spiralled into overly rational mind games that were hard to escape, emotions only surfaced when strong enough to break through a certain threshold.

But for Chiara, it had been different. Much worse. Not only had she taken the Standard States a step further, but her Awakening itself amplified the mind while weakening the body, driving the imbalance far beyond his own. The fact that she had managed to hold on to even a fragment of herself, to the core of her feelings, was remarkable in its own right.

Perhaps, had she continued down that route, she would have been truly lost. Her emotional moments had become so rare that only the most intense feelings could break through—like when she confessed her love, or on the rare occasions when they were alone. Yet even then, it was clear her barrier was higher than his own, a net of obstacles spread across her mind, dimming the light within unless it burned bright enough to pierce through.

And yet this new path—the one branded extreme, ruthless, almost cruel in its demands, especially for whoever dared to attempt it first—had turned out to be the solution. The answer to preserving identity, to safeguarding the self, while still pursuing a single path.

Lukas had felt it too. The Extreme Pillar Path had not buried him deeper in that mechanistic current. It had shattered the rigid frameworks, broken the chains of logic, and let his truest self surface once again. Or so he wanted to believe.

He wanted to believe he had become himself once more—the Lukas he had once been—and not something else entirely. Yet could he be sure? Could he truly claim he was that original Lukas, and not a new version that only believed itself genuine, like a madman convinced of his own sanity, or a clone persuading itself it was the first?

Had he erased his former consciousness to awaken as another? Or had he always been the same, merely unshackled from what he now saw as a trap in disguise?

In the end, he chose not to chase the answer. He would walk the path that felt right, and live with it. The questions—unanswerable, and perhaps best left untouched—he locked away once more.

For now… he was, and he would be, Lukas.

“Alright.” He pushed himself up with a sharp exhale and made the scattered tools float toward him. “Time to get this big boy running—”

“Lukas.”

He froze mid-motion. Chiara?

“You reached it?”

“Take a guess.”

Her voice carried an amused, almost self-satisfied edge.

Lukas grinned and shook his head. “Alright, I’ll meet you there.”

He vaulted over the massive Meca and landed lightly on the ground below. But just as he turned toward the exit, the solid gates of the underground chamber groaned open, and she stepped inside.

She had fashioned the Dark Stars into a flowing silk-like dress that moved with her every step. But more than the sight of her, it was her eyes that caught him—made a quiet warmth spread through his chest.

Her eyes, once cold, empty, almost devoid of empathy, now carried a light he hadn’t seen in her for what felt like forever. A light he could only compare to that first time he’d met her in the Oasis, back before the string of events that had broken her—first emotionally, then intrinsically—each step dragging her deeper into a darkness that never truly let her be herself again.

And yet here she was. Standing tall. That confidence—bordering perhaps on the too much—shining in her gaze, layered with pride and even a hint of happiness she made no attempt to hide. She looked whole again. Freed.

After all this time, the young, brilliant woman he’d found so fascinating back then—the one he had chosen to follow on impulse—was standing before him once more, unshackled at last.

“Someone looks happy today,” Lukas grinned as he strolled toward her.

“Well, why wouldn’t I?” she replied, amusement curling in her voice. “To become the first ever Third Extreme Pillar State existence. One small step for me, one giant leap for mankind.”

Lukas chuckled under his breath, shaking his head. “Sounds like you just landed on the moon.”

She moved with unhurried grace, pacing across the chamber with her hands clasped behind the black silk of her dress. Her eyes gleamed with pride as they flicked from him to the massive Meca dominating the hall.

She turned back to him, a smile breaking across her lips—warm, proud, teasing all at once.

“Congrats on reaching the Second State,” she said lightly.

“How could you tell?” Lukas asked, genuinely curious.

“I can sense the nano-fields that form when the body’s energy channels reroute into the Pillar,” she answered calmly, as if it were the most obvious thing.

“So what’s the third about? Haven’t had time to dig into it yet.”

“Oh, just taking it further—adding more routes into the network, linking the energy flow directly to every cell. Which, interestingly, makes breathing and most body functions optional,” she tilted her head slightly, amusement dancing in her tone. “Thought you’d like to know. Still, it’s the same principle. More rerouting. Just proves the body really is nothing more than a flesh mecha suit piloted by the mind.”

“Well, I am dying to hear Ayu’s other thoughts on this,” Lukas chuckled.

“Fair enough.”

“On to more serious matters—Alonso is heading to—”

“The six-tails in the Ajnal capital. I know.” She smiled, and before Lukas could ask, added, “I know because I may have kept an eye on some transmissions… just in case.”

“Transmissions that were directed specifically to me, if I’m not mistaken,” Lukas said with a mock-judging look. “Seems like someone hasn’t been respecting other people’s privacy.”

Chiara lifted her hands in a shrug, wearing a mock-guilty expression to match. “Alright… just worried about you. I won’t do it again… probably.” The last word slipped out in a mutter. “And… there are no secrets between partners, right?”

Lukas arched a brow, lips tugging into a lopsided grin that softened after a moment. “It’s good to have you back… Chiara.”

She smiled too. “Feels good too.”

For a moment there was a pause in the air as their gaze locked. The amusement faded, and something deeper—something almost primal—surfaced in her chest as she leaned forward, yet—

“…To all… Azcoyatl… still out there… I must… inform you… with what may be… my last… transmission… Our Great… Emperor… has… fallen…”

The long-range broadcast cut through the chamber, distorted and broken, words dragging with static. Lukas turned grave, his expression tightening, while Chiara almost cursed under her breath at the timing.

“This… it seems another six-tails has taken over the Azcoyatl capital.”

Chiara nodded, still faintly annoyed. “Probably. They sent some transmissions to me too, but it was just pointless gibberish.”

“Pointless… gibberish? What did you get?”

“Just some messages—some true, some obvious Xok’al ploys to lure me out. Really, nothing important,” she said evenly. Her gaze shifted to the Meca. “I’ll deal with all that now. So you keep to your work. By the way—how long until you’ve got it flying?”

Lukas hesitated, the shift in topic leaving him uneasy. Something felt missing in the train of thought. “The Meca… forget that for now. What do you mean you’ll take care of it? Right now, I think it’s best we both head for the Ajnal capital and help Alonso. I’ll send a transmission and—”

“Lukas.” Chiara’s tone held a shade more seriousness now. “Alonso has reached the Third Fusion State. He doesn’t need help. It’s fine you sent the rest, but strictly speaking… I don’t think they’ll make any difference.”

Lukas frowned, waiting.

“I’ve extrapolated the range, minimum, and maximum capacity of the six-tails based on everything we’ve seen and know… and even at their peak, they fall short of the Third State on any of the Extreme Paths,” she continued smoothly. “So really—take it easy. Let Alonso handle that, and wait for the good news. The strategy you called for—raising our strength in the shadows—it paid off. Now… let us take it from here… leader.” She smiled softly.

Chiara knew the weight Lukas carried. Now that her clarity had returned, she saw it more clearly than ever. She wouldn’t say cheesy things about being his right hand or anything like that, but… from now on—

“I want you to rely on me too,” she said, stepping forward and taking his hand in hers, feeling the warmth of his touch, his pulse merging with her own.

Lukas stood still for a moment. A storm of thoughts tore through his mind—warnings that it was too risky, that it was unnecessary, that her safety mattered more. He thought of the Xok’al and their traps, of the chance that even she could have miscalculated, of how confidence was always a double-edged sword.

And yet, despite all those voices screaming this wasn’t the best path… only one word escaped his lips as he squeezed her hand just a little tighter.

“Ok.”

Chiara’s smile brightened. She stepped closer, rose on her toes, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.

When she pulled back, the feel lingered, warm and alive, before she turned lightly on her heels.

“See you soon,” she said with a wave. “I’ll go study that six-tail for a bit.”

Study?

“Are you sure you don’t need me? This Meca is noth—”

“Nope,” she cut in quickly, spinning with a flourish that sent the Dark Star dress curling around her form. “Take a break, have fun tuning the Meca, or maybe just a nap. This will be quick, and… maybe we can have some… private time after.”

The faint blush on her cheeks was hidden by the shifting Dark Stars, and before Lukas could answer, her waves locked onto every nano-structure. In the next instant, she blurred away.

Lukas remained still, staring at the closing gates with an absent gaze.

Then he turned and walked back toward the construct. Trust, or maybe even faith, had won over caution, but a lingering unease crept in—a weight he knew wouldn’t ease until this was all over.