'Dearest Alex' - by Larissa Thompson

As he deals with the stress of his sudden promotion to Acting Defence Adjutant, Lieutenant Jasper Ravi writes a letter for his distant love.

Check out this Patron-Exclusive Anthology short, written by Larissa Thompson and performed by Matthew Kaufman.

Thank you all for your continuing support.

Fair winds!

Full Transcript:

47th of Summer Solstice.

My dearest Alex,

We’ve arrived in the nebula. The entire fleet is missing or unaccounted for, we’re desperately trying to figure out what happened, and I was given an emergency promotion to Defense Adjutant. We’re in pretty dire straits if the most qualified person to protect this fleet - just the platform really - is barely a Lieutenant. I’m trying to do the job, but I’m just so out of my depth here. I’m constantly waiting for the next emergency, and I’m trying to prepare for it but I constantly feel like I’m forgetting something important.

We’ve been getting some strange readings lately… I’m actually not sure how much I can say. It’s difficult to know what information is going to be confidential once we’re back in Tantalus. When I’m back and debriefed, I’ll tell you whatever I can. I’m sorry.

(beat) To be 3,000 light years away from you-- it’s more than I can really fathom. I knew it was coming, and I understood the maths and physics of it, but it isn’t until you can’t send a message to someone because you’re so far away that you realize just how massive the distance is. You know, it reminds me of that ancient poem you like, the one about the lonely sailboat that flew. But it doesn’t come close to the real thing. It’s hard not to feel desperately alone out here.

But, I have to admit, it is strangely beautiful. When I look out the window I can see the light from the nearest star twinkle off the ice. You remember what the masts look like in the harbour at dawn? ...It’s like that.

(beat) If it all goes according to plan, our return means that Tantalus will have more than enough resources to thrive again. When I get back, you know the first thing I’m going to do? I’m going to cook you dinner. And I promise it won’t be like last time, I’ll practice when I’m off duty. Then, after dinner, we can plan that trip to Centrum you’ve been wanting to take. With all this hazard pay, I should be able to get us two tickets.

(beat) I, uh, I hope your job search is going well. Any boss would be lucky to have you, make sure they know that. (beat) By the time you hear this you’ll probably be the lead of some team, I don’t know why I’m saying this… Well, maybe you can feel my well wishes in real time. Since you can’t measure love by the speed of light... Oh this is too corny. I’m sorry, stop recording--

You know, despite the fact that I’m staggeringly underqualified for this job, I think under normal circumstances I would really enjoy it. I have a lot of flexibility with how to organize the workflow, which means that I can restructure the organizational system to fit the needs of the mission at any time. Finding ways to streamline, getting rid of inefficiencies, beefing up cross-checks, it’s all very engaging work. If the Adjutant job could just be about the paperwork, it would be the perfect job for me. But there’s so much more to it than that, and I just don’t have the experience to be able to make the kinds of decisions that have to be made. People’s lives are on the line here, and if I make the wrong call… It’s a lot of pressure.

I just finished a duty shift and I still have some paperwork to do, so I should probably go. I just… *sigh* more than ever I wish you were here. I wish I knew who the jerk was who rejected your application so I could… I dunno… give him a swift kick in the shin. No… I don’t think I could do that.

Okay, I’m stalling now. *sigh* Right. Duty calls. Give my best to your sister. Remember that I love you, and that I’ll be with you soon. Fair winds.