Story Feedback (let's make a weekly thing)
Added 2025-11-22 17:09:29 +0000 UTCRealizing that I'm not perfect and my jumping back and forth between 4+ stories isn't the best sometimes, I wanted to start this thread and ask a few specific things.
First any story is free game - push / ask questions. I want to make the stories the best as possible.
Second - I'm really open. I don't know everything and I'm REALLY bad at editing (ask my long time readers). I literally will write non stop for hours, run a quick grammarly, save it, and move on to next chapter / story.
So Let's go with what we got.
Time loop - Book 2 is almost done on my end - writing the last scenes maybe this week depeneding on thanksgiving and kids.
What's good / bad so far. Obviously some think its a bit too slow and I need to show more of the numbers going - feel free to give specifics if you're willing so i can track down.
Cultivation - Again - first time really trying this. I thought information moved quickly in sects like that (like really fast) so if I'm wrong, I'll gladly change.
Fixing some of the things (think I got spirit stones fixed). They're currency and power (I think i need to point that out more).
Name - I thought I was being funny with the Chen Wei / Wei Chen. But do you feel it would be better to mentally see himself as his OG name? Or as Chen? Obv I wanted a way to refer to Chen's memories and his own thoughts.
Any other story (Arin / Viking / UL1 ) is free game also!
Thanks
Comments
Yeah, I definitely need to find a way to realize that what my brain thinks I’m writing down sometimes and what I am is not happening I’m also trying to get back in the groove of consistently writing where there was a period of time that I wasn’t getting maybe more than a day or two a week and now I’ve had like 14 days in a row, but I also was writing across five different stories I definitely need to slow down, which has never been my strong suit because I’ve always just gone full speed all gas I’ll try to go back and make some improvements on some of those
Shawn Wilson
2025-11-23 19:31:02 +0000 UTCSo the sabotage thing still has a part which is kind of change directions name wise. The broker is going to play a bigger role and that’s where we’re gonna see kind of that stuff from Yeah, I really feel it now as I’ve gone back and read more of the chapters Part of the problem was I was off for so long and then I literally wrote like 200,000 words across five different stories in like 14 days So I’m definitely needing to slow down a little bit and focus a little bit more So I’m gonna go back and try to fix up some of that stuff
Shawn Wilson
2025-11-23 19:29:46 +0000 UTCI have a question about Battle Through the Nine Realms. At the beginning of Book 3, it was implied that someone in the group was sabotaging them (with the ballista and some other comments), but this was mostly forgotten for the rest of the book. Also, as someone mentioned, the second half of Book 3 is messy. The story isn't continuous; the end of one chapter and the beginning of the next can be quite different. The second half of the book seems rushed. The fights weren't as spectacular, and the tasks didn't feel "legendary," as in the first two books. I hope you take your time with the next book because your work is great! Thanks!
medran_27
2025-11-23 18:01:45 +0000 UTCI haven’t read the 2 newest stories (cultivator and slime) but my only 2 major gripes are. 1. Major skips between chapters or characters discussing things that occurred as if we know what is going on. It’s inconsistent enough that it isn’t detrimental but it’s very confusing when it occurs. It’s happened a few times on Loopbreaker but it’s been happening more in UL1. For example, Max going from the Radiant Steppes and dealing with the curse/worldeater…then he’s suddenly walking through a different world talking to Bob about his “last visit” as if it’s something we’d know. The parts where you jump years ahead but acknowledge it is perfectly find though. Like the fighting in the training ground. Max lays out the fight schedule then it jumps ahead to a different fight and the make a nod to “previous fights” or like the time jumps of Mirana climbing the tower. 2. Max learning skills and getting a description then him learning skills and they just disappear and aren’t mentioned (like ghost strike didn’t get an explanation till almost the end of the book and even then the description was for quick attack 🤣…or more recently rime step). Not as big a deal but still just kinda like MAAAAAN 3. 24 hours is just sooooo long between chapters cuz I wanna read them all now 🤣🤣🤣
A
2025-11-23 16:51:36 +0000 UTC
