❤️ Miss Wendy Ramble ~ Exclusive
Added 2024-07-08 14:52:07 +0000 UTC🛋️ It's been a long while cutie, since I over shared
🛋️ You are welcome to meander with me, but zero pressure to respond
🛋️ This ramblings are my thoughts and opinions of late
🛋️ Items I have pondered from my window seat on the struggle bus
🛋️ Thank you for sitting with me, having me over for a cuppa to chat
🛋️ This is mostly SFW, but I do talk a bit about sex from a theoretical place, so, be warned
🛋️ I also mention deaths I have experienced, the suicide, but nothing to macabre
🛋️ Let's see it as a simple invite into the real Miss Wendy, how my brain works, my struggles, my joys, and most of all, my deep appreciation for you
🛋️ Looking forward to a glimpse into you if you feel inclined to share
🛋️ All the hugs and snuggle to you and don't forget to take care of your meat puppet
Note: I move these up to Minxy after about a month to keep the vulnerability to a minimum over time
Comments
Been thinking about this one for a bit. Had that season last winter and spring where I had to peel back some layers and set some new personal boundaries. Also had to realize I couldn't be there for any one else until I took care of myself. You can't feed the world if you are starving yourself. Once I found that the joy came rushing back. Thank you for allowing that grace. I am much happier caring for those that care for me. Thank you Miss Wendy. It's difficult work and ongoing, but well worth it.
Deep
2024-09-29 12:54:28 +0000 UTCI don't know I mainly did it to heal my depression you know to feel something, but it didn't do that even in the highest dose I did which was 8 dried grams. Don't get me wrong the trip was intense definitely something I will never forget, it was like I was in ancient island and this huge tornado came in and I was just grabbing for dear life, it lasted for about 5 hours But it didn't touch my soul it didn't change how felt on the inside, so it was disappointing in that way. I was influenced a lot by terence mckenna he used talk about psychedelics and how they can be instruments for healing and consciousness expansion, but after putting my mind and psych on the line multiple times using them, I no longer hold that view, they can definitely give you interesting experiences but they're not the answer, at least that was my experience.
mjnoon 777
2024-07-24 10:09:30 +0000 UTCReveal is a good word. I’ve microed a bit and found it turns down my inner critic. That allow that childlike observer to surface. Been a couple years tbh. Seeing where the healing is needed helps tho, right?
Wendy Darling
2024-07-20 08:32:34 +0000 UTC*hug* Love reading that you feel safe, that you can wrap yourself up my my world and find comfort. Surgery? Oof Heal up cutie. Slow has to be frustrating, but it sounds like you aw getting there. Perfect time to hang out in the server with us 😉
Wendy Darling
2024-07-20 08:29:59 +0000 UTCIt was like I'm seeing everything for the first time, I don't know if you remember when you were a kid and staring at the ceiling or that moment where sun hits the window just at the right angle illuminating everything, or the moment when you look at ants moving in unison for the first time. It was like that, we all have those flashes of childhood memories or images where things just felt vivid and real and colorful, the mushrooms at low doses seems to make everything "pop" the colors the lights everything feels more real and scary, I don't know to explain it but I stayed at that balcony for 3 hours drinking green tea and just looking at the moving cars and the people just walking it felt weird, I still have one image stuck in my head from that experience. But it didn't really change how I felt on the inside it just changed the sensory experience and distort it into a beautiful werid unusual form, I don't think the mushrooms can "heal" anything in us they just reveal what was already there, at least that was my experience even in high doses.
mjnoon 777
2024-07-15 06:14:38 +0000 UTCAppreciate the observations and not crude at all. I worry I’m getting jaded so hearing some of my optimism remains brings hope. Thank you What about that moment on the balcony stayed with you? It sounds intense.
Wendy Darling
2024-07-14 14:33:34 +0000 UTCI feel that. The worry. Trying to hold onto hope *hug* You aren’t failing as one my as you don’t give up imo Find those bits of joy and squeeze them tight
Wendy Darling
2024-07-14 14:30:39 +0000 UTCRead is a couple times. Thank you for listening to me and sharing a bit of you
Wendy Darling
2024-07-14 14:28:59 +0000 UTCIt’s been a joy for me to see the two of you create your joy. You deserve it
Wendy Darling
2024-07-13 18:56:25 +0000 UTC*snuggle* Thank you for listening Wesley. Really helps to be heard.
Wendy Darling
2024-07-13 18:55:30 +0000 UTCThank you for trusting us enough to be vulnerable 💞 we care about you Miss and I hope we can bring you even half as much comfort as you bring us everyday
Wesley Spray
2024-07-12 19:36:52 +0000 UTCJoy was super rough for me to obtain or even acknowledge. I think I am the most comfortable with acknowledging joy in my life now than in the past. For the longest time, I didn't think I would have long term joy. When I lived in Oklahoma, I had faux joy when I was dating someone who I loved and cared about. Unfortunately, his actions said he wasn't going to give the same. I ended up having to leave him and remove him from my life...and it hurt. For a long time. But without going through the stuff I went through with him, I don't think I would be the person I am either. It's funny how that works. But now, with Azula, joy is something I see more.
EvilsDeathAzul
2024-07-10 22:39:04 +0000 UTCI am so sorry for all of your losses, Miss Wendy. 😔 It's not fair with how much you had to endure. 💔 You deserve so much happiness 🍀☀️ But I am so glad that despite everything, you are still here, doing so many wonderful things for you and for us and just being a wonderful person in general. ❤️🩹✨️ I know, I'm still very new here, but I still stand by that. I feel so safe and such a warm embrace when listening to your voice. 🥺🥹 And you seem to have an absolute incredible community ❤️🩷🧡💛💚💙🩵💜 And after hearing this very vulnerable ramble from you and reading the comments, I wish we could all have a big massive group hug 🫂🫂🫂 Personally I think I take great joy in letting people know just how much I appreciate them. 💞 This mainly goes to connections I made online, but also to audio creators in general. With how depressing things in the world can be, many audio creators in general have been such a shining radiant light. ✨️✨️✨️ So letting them know how amazing their creations are and then often getting a heart from them and sometimes even a lovely respone in return makes me really happy. 🤗 The year in general could have been better. I had a little surgery in February (nothing dangerous, though), but the healing process of the surgery wound is being quite slow. Steady, but slow and I just want it to be done already, as I do feel a bit more exhausted lately. 😒 The current heat isn't helping. 🥵😅
VelvetTornado (Enrico)
2024-07-10 10:25:58 +0000 UTCYour muchness is perfect!! It was great hanging with you today, hearing you are finding your way. Going no contact is hard and brave. Proud of you Floof
Wendy Darling
2024-07-10 02:41:10 +0000 UTCOof, I hope you are doing all the things you can to care for your meet puppet
Wendy Darling
2024-07-10 02:33:14 +0000 UTCDepressed cuz I can't eat and enjoy my food, on my last nerve because my mouth hurst and I can't sleep. But we good
RAGN4AR
2024-07-09 22:55:15 +0000 UTCAlso I don't usually do this, but there's a poem I wrote a of couple days ago while being half a sleep, I thought I might share it. Flowing crystal shining river in front of me Flying flowers red purple and yellow blueish sunny haze She grabbed my hand and started going while her lushes hair smelld like sweet strawberry Drunk on confusion enchanted by her, this decadent of eve melted my beings and entered my kingdom of oneness laughing joyfully Eden again! I accept . May god distal this moment indefinitely
mjnoon 777
2024-07-09 22:09:49 +0000 UTCI haven’t exactly had a great time. I applied to my dream job 3 separate times and was rejected even though I’d thought I was over-qualified and a shoe in. Kinda just feels like I’m stumbling through life. I’m trying other options but I’m worried that I might rushing and trying to grab onto anything I can, and end up in a career field I hate. It feels like I’m failing and wasting precious time.
Cryptid
2024-07-09 22:08:14 +0000 UTCI hope I don't sound too crude in saying this but I wish I can hold you so tight and keep you safe from everything. You deserve it. This life thing is not going to make much sense too anyone, there will always be a deeper level of anxiousness and confusion about it, even though you experienced a lot of suffering mainly loss , you still seem to have a child like innocence, silly optimism anticipation of a batter path ,alternative ways of seeing things. This shows your resourcefulness and your resilience, it's a reflection of your true kind nature. I wish I could be that optimistic. When you talked about joy I understood what you meant it's a very different feeling similar to nostalgia, it's like the light but comforting, I wish I could feel that again,the closest I felt to that is when I was sitting on a balcony in fancy hotel in Thailand starring at the speading cars and the people walking while being high on mushrooms, but that was a different thing . Please take care of yourself wendy, you deserve to be happy. I wish you all the best.
mjnoon 777
2024-07-09 21:38:41 +0000 UTCLove that, that your freedom comes at a time when it’s not ruined by anxiety. Who knows what you will do next, and that’s the best part. A new adventure awaits cutie.
Wendy Darling
2024-07-09 20:58:27 +0000 UTCGoats are the GOAT! Mischievous little boogers though.
Wendy Darling
2024-07-09 20:55:50 +0000 UTCSilly, there are so many things left to say. How are you cutie?
Wendy Darling
2024-07-09 15:56:48 +0000 UTCThat conditioning has a gravity that’s challenging to escape for sure. People pleasing especially as the world seems to reward that one almost immediately. Proud of you for learning to prioritize yourself and end toxic relationships. I can feel the joy you are creating with your writing. It’s almost tangible and lovely to behold. Glad you are doing well sweetie 😉
Wendy Darling
2024-07-09 15:55:35 +0000 UTCWalk-ability is huge!! Congrats and good luck.
Wendy Darling
2024-07-09 15:49:58 +0000 UTCDrink allll the water Spencer darling, no dying allowed 💋
Wendy Darling
2024-07-09 15:48:45 +0000 UTCMeat suit 😉
Wendy Darling
2024-07-09 15:48:05 +0000 UTCcrazy how as a thinker/overthinker i wanted to say something but you already say everything, the question and some other i asked myself from time to time just to see how am i doing.
RAGN4AR
2024-07-09 06:10:01 +0000 UTCSuch a candid request, I had to think upon it. How would i answer, where would I answer, even more what among the choices would I answer? First and foremost, I am sorry for your loss(es). It feels disingenuous to say, even If i have said dozens of times throughout my life. Yet there is no word of phrase in the human vernacular to respond to the loss of life. Although the phrase is awkward and clunky, what you have is my sympathies. The hurt that comes from loss....it is a pain we try to limit throughout our lives. For myself, I am doing well. Unemployment has been good to me, more then I ever thought it could be. In my lack of employment I found the thing that has always been elusive in my life...Freedom. To be free has always brought me joy, to come and go as I please, to be unfettered from the mooring of life. I have come to tell many that if I knew unemployment held this for me, I would have sought to be terminated ages ago. Yet I can not take credit, where it is due. I would only be at such peace if it were not for my therapist and the years of work we have accomplished in unison. Without it, I would worry myself to death on future possibilities that have no grounding in the present. I would have likely taken the termination as a blow to my own self worth, as a person and to my career. Yet none of these things hearken at my door, there is only the endless possibilities of the world. I do not know what form my next career will take. At this point I am far too long in tooth to start a new career, yet I do want to try new things even if they do not last long. Mayhaps I will try and become a v-tuber, or streamer. Maybe I will go work in trash collection, or perhaps I'll take a few google online courses. I have no certainty of what tomorrow brings or what I will do, yet for now I float amongst the wind content to where ever it shall blow.
NightofTwilight
2024-07-09 03:54:36 +0000 UTCThis ramble really hit hard for me in big ways, Miss Wendy. Recently my whole life fell apart. I lost all of my friends, my career, my therapist, my home, and I'm having to completely start over. Through that I realized how unhealthy a lot of my relationships were and how little the people I cared for cared for me. I've always felt like my muchness was too much, and I've come to learn that my muchness is just enough and I hope there are people who won't find it too much. Losing everything was a lot, and it took a lot to break the unhealthy connections I was clung on to, like finally going no contact with my father. You and the community you've created have helped me through what have been some of the toughest years of my life, and while the future feels big and scary, I keep believing that tomorrow will be better and some day I'll be able to see how far I've come, and not how far I have left to go.
Floof Danger
2024-07-09 03:18:16 +0000 UTCThese rambles are some of my favorites. This past couple weeks have been busy (moving from one side of the city to the other). I'm learning to de-clutter, as my room is now half the space it used to be, and there's a lot that's walk-able from my new house and some are a short bike ride away.
Shae Reub
2024-07-09 01:09:38 +0000 UTCI would actually love a cat to start with! My YouTube feed is always filled with cat videos and I've already done so much research about them just for funs. I'm also drawn to goats from being around farms in Kenya. Maybe one day I can have a big yard and a barn with enough space.
Mo
2024-07-09 00:20:33 +0000 UTCFor sure we share some of the same struggles. Love that sitting with me today helped unpack something in your session. What an honor *squeeze* Proud of you too baby boy. You work so hard studying and becoming financially independent. Glad you were reminded to look for the joy in your life. I forget sometimes, especially if I’m scrolling too much. So excited to get a ball of fuzz, if you could have a pet, do you know what you’d be drawn to befriend?
Wendy Darling
2024-07-08 23:45:42 +0000 UTCAllll the pictures for sure!! I know you’ve been fighting the fight. It’s hard to explain how active and exhausting that can be. We are here for you too you wonderful human you. So proud of you for learning to own the space you occupy a bit more. You are fabulous now, can’t wait to see you continue to grow. *snuggle*
Wendy Darling
2024-07-08 23:41:12 +0000 UTCWhat a lovely ramble in return. Love it. Earning joy, that one hits close to home. I used to even “earn” my potty breaks. “You can’t go until you get XYZ done. Bizarro land 😅. I think you’re right. The magic might mostly be in the reflecting, the engaging, the being in our bodies. *boop* Not sure you know how smart you are. So jealous of your ice cream, sounds drool worthy. I know several people that love deck building, that it invites your inner child to the surface is the best part. Congrats on reconnecting with an old friend. 💋
Wendy Darling
2024-07-08 23:37:13 +0000 UTC*hug* this struggle bus ride can’t be forever, we can still land an ESCAPE!! You are fantastic Cenn, from your Growly voice and sense of humor to your deep thoughts and struggles. It’s an honor to know you. Gotta make some time to game again sometime soon. Miss your face
Wendy Darling
2024-07-08 23:30:13 +0000 UTCRight bank at you handsome. They come to the server because of me, but they stay for the community 😉
Wendy Darling
2024-07-08 23:27:36 +0000 UTCWell I live in Arizona so it’s unbearably hot and working demo is a bit hard, risk of heat stroke and dehydration is a high risk for me
Spencer Power
2024-07-08 21:46:46 +0000 UTCmeat puppet😭
Star Boy
2024-07-08 19:59:12 +0000 UTC(Apologies for the incoming text wall. I had…thoughts.) I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating. I really appreciate the degree of honesty and authenticity you approach these rambles with. It’s something I don’t really see much of these days, especially online. On the topic of not feeling seen and the resulting behaviors…it’s something I’m only just starting to work on. The people pleasing, the making myself small…bouncing back from that is not easy, that’s for sure. Being able to prioritize yourself can be one of the hardest things to do, especially if you’ve been conditioned to believe that it’s not a good thing (I know I’ve been). Exciting to hear that you’re reading more. I’ve got plenty of recs I can post in the server, if you’d like some (most are…very queer and a bit steamy, though…not sure if that’s something you’re into). The question of “are you the last person you think about” hit particularly hard. In most aspects, yes (again…something I’m working on). I found myself smiling when you asked if there was something I found joy in. There are a couple. First and foremost, the world I’ve been building up and writing stories/one shots in for…a few months, now, I think? I think it’s been months, at least. Time is weird. To think the whole thing started just because I said yes to playing in a campaign last March. I’m not typically one to believe in such a thing, but the stars truly aligned just right on that one. The second thing is music. I don’t think I can understate or accurately put into words how much of a positive impact music has had on my life post-high school (post-pandemic, in particular). I think that’s partly why I’ve started putting songs on my character sheets when I build new ones (or even revisit old ones). Relationships are sometimes a funny thing to me, the toxic ones in particular. How did it become like this? Was it always like this? (etc., etc.) There are two I finally just…severed…recently. Two of the best decisions I’ve ever made, I think. It wasn’t easy, especially at first, but I’ve come to realize it was something that needed to happen and would have eventually. (Not me physically pausing the audio when I heard “how you been, sweetie?” Broke my brain a little. Trying my best to keep my head above water. Anyhow…onwards and upwards, right?)
rio_the_raptor
2024-07-08 19:06:44 +0000 UTCHey there Miss Wendy. I actually listened to the first half of this, then had to go to therapy, then came back and finished the other half. You helped me articulate some things about unbalanced or unhealthy relationships, and just generally helped me feel better going into the session. I think we struggle with some similar things. Thank you for inviting me to look for where I find joy in my life. I forget to view it that way. I find joy in sharing new experiences with lovely people, nature, art in all forms, and animals. I can still vividly remember getting to see African animals up close on a safari when I was in 1st grade. I took a picture of a zebra and still have it as my phone lock screen. I've never been able to own a pet but I've always wanted one. When you mentioned you are looking to get a cat omg it genuinely warmed my heart and made me smile. I know you'll be the best pet owner there is! I am proud of you and I'm excited for you! I couldn't thank you enough either for what you've given us. I have your back Miss Wendy. Thank you always. ❤
Mo
2024-07-08 19:04:25 +0000 UTCI love these rambles. I love the little glimpse into your thoughts and these always make me think too. Prioritizing yourself is such a huge thing. I'm glad you're doing that more. This community has been helping me learn to take up that space when I need to. I'm glad you feel okay with stepping back a bit and allowing yourself to feel and process your emotions. If you need us I hope you know we're always here for you to lean on ❤️ You never owe anything for leaning. You're important to me so it comes with the territory lol Life had been pretty depressing as of late and it was getting hard to fight. I've realized though, I have such an amazing support group behind me that it made me want to fight and take care of myself. I've been able to do so many fun things this year already. I might even end up taking some sort of vacation later this year to who knows where. Wherever finding my joy decides to take me, I'll go I'm so sorry for your losses. Thank you for continually being the awesome person you are no matter what life has thrown at you and sharing with us *hugs and snuggles* I'm glad I got to live this chaotic life the same time as you too. Wouldn't change anything I've gone through cause it ultimately brought me here. To this space. Excited for you to get a kitty!! You gotta share pictures when you do! (Sorry for the long comment, guess I got alot to say 😅)
ddarko
2024-07-08 17:54:15 +0000 UTCThank you Miss Wendy for inviting us into the booth with you. Many of your thoughts were so relatable it was a little startling. (This is a long one, fair warning lol) Your rambles are my favorite part of your Patreon, they truly are 😊. I like hearing your thoughts and perspectives, and I like how you let us check in on you with these style videos, you are so honest with us, and I find that so heartwarming and respectable at the same time. But to answer those questions, I might be mistaking joy for pleasure but for me, I feel like my joy needs to be "earned" in a way. "Did you get all your tasks done? Alright, now you are allowed to have some joy" I know it's not exactly correct but it's how my spongey brain operates. I feel as if you must earn your joy in some way? At least that's what the world seems to tell us. You must do XYZ, then you can feel good and feel happy and feel joy. When in reality I think we have it backwards. Slowing down and reflecting is something I see so few people do, so I give you a lot of credit for doing that, even more, to actually talk to people about it, thats brave, braver than you think. I just hope you know, that you do bring joy to all of us here, more than you know, and we are lucky to have a person like you. I just, hope you know that. Sorry for rambling, but yeah, that's how I'd describe how I interact and see joy in myself right now. And one of the things that brings me the most joy right now is building decks in card games I like, it makes me feel like a kid again and just smile on the inside. Favorite food in the past 2 weeks? Cold Stone's Doughlightful peanut butter, is the best, full stop. And the best part of 2024? Reconnecting with an old friend, she helps me vent and we gossip and it's nice to have someone you can be open with. And we will need cat updates for sure! So whenever you read this Miss, I hope it can make your day a little bit brighter, from the shortest yammering bean~ 😊
Nicky Shortstacks
2024-07-08 17:10:01 +0000 UTCThank you for sharing with us 💜 I unfortunately relate a bit as I find myself worrying I am taking too much from friends in the form of kindness and support and not giving enough in return. Or that I need to either give more and more of myself or retreat completely in fear of someone else leaving me, to protect myself - which is silly to think from an outside perspective but my therapist and I are working on it 😅 (Thank god for good therapists 🙏) I have been Going Thru It™️ recently, more so than most are aware. My therapist recently said to me “you’ve really been suffering, huh.” (Which was wild to hear acknowledged out loud, I can’t lie) But she also said she’s glad I have this community (I talk about yall a lot 🥰 all good things I promise 😇) Your audios and community have been a soft place to land for me as things have been, and continue to be, rough and scary. And I’m glad and hope we can provide some reciprocal comfort for you as you do so much for us, even in just holding space for us to be us and hold each other in community. 💜 Forever grateful~ Cenn ramble, concluded.
Multichromanix (Cenn)
2024-07-08 16:38:02 +0000 UTCI really appreciate that Miss Wendy you are the type of human I want to learn to grow as you’re so full of joy and light towards everyone you come across and it’s always good to know that you’re server has reeled in good people because of it I’m so thankful for you being around
Shane Driscoll
2024-07-08 16:29:37 +0000 UTCYou are a fabulous human, love reading that you are learning to see that. The server truly seems to have become a hatching ground for more positive self perception. You were always great, you were simply blind to it and gave your actions and gifts away to people who couldn’t see you. I see you cutie. 🤗 Glad you can too.
Wendy Darling
2024-07-08 16:22:04 +0000 UTCI think that was one of my problems is that I tried to make friends by giving them shit instead of actually trying to make the connection and by doing so, I only got bad people who wanted more and more from me instead of having the attention I feel like I crave for too much. I like people to listen and understand me I have a hard time talking to family because everytime I try, I get cut off by anything else they’re thinking about except for by my two brothers which makes me feel unimportant to a lot of people. Probably what lowered my self Esteem now and makes feel like I’m not worth much to people but it’s nice to have people giving you that attention on the daily in the server which is why I spend my time there because most of the time people are excited to see me and goes “hi slime!” Or “sliiiiiiime!”, “Slimy boy” And I can talk to people and feel good and make others feel good simply by being there and saying dumb shit and telling them a stupid dad joke. I love I can find a lot of people who play the same games as me and watches the same movies and people who always ping me to watch a movie with and wants to co-op games with me and just hang out. It’s not always the best thing for me but I like having that raise in my self esteem by feeling accepted and wanted even needed by people
Shane Driscoll
2024-07-08 15:57:30 +0000 UTC
