With the amount of money you've sent in my way, I was able to buy the Topaz Denoise software. While the Iray rendering engine is great and stuff, sometimes it's really hard to understand why it refuses to not produce grainy images, and I simply don't have enough patience to sit through five hours of image building just to see that nothing has changed. Luckily, we can rebuild them. We have the technology. Just compare those two pictures. First one is before, second one is after. And if you don't see any difference, don't worry. There are much grainier ones, that I'm going to repair now. I fucking love science!
And of course, thank you all so much.